Episode 308 “Ordinary People”
Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Ghosts are everywhere. Mason told Damon there was a weapon that would kill Klaus and led him down a dark, dank cave, where they found pictures and runes painted/carved on the walls! CRAZY! Also, Lexi’s back and helps Elena take Stefan prisoner and starts working her rehab magic on him. Jeremy and Anna realize (again?) that they can touch, and you’d THINK that that leads to some good ghost lovin’, but it doesn’t. Bonnie gets all pissed, which is justified. She does a spell to get rid of the ghosts, sees her Gram again, and together they get the spell to work. All the ghosts disappear. Oh, and another Fell dies. Because that’s kind of their thing. Onward!
Elena and Alaric are revisiting the caverns to see the ancient writing on the wall. Elena’s all “The Lockwoods really don’t know these caverns are down here?” and honey, there are a lot of things the Lockwoods were clueless about.
Alaric shows her the drawings and Damon calls them “The Lockwood Diaries: Pictionary Style,” which is funny because I just assumed pictures and grunts were how they communicated anyway.
Alaric said it might not be the Lockwoods, but whatever werewolves are in these stories were here in Mystic Falls a long, long, looooong time ago. Because of course they were.
But there are also names written on the wall in ancient Viking runes:
Rebekah. DUN DUN DUN!
Look, I know it’s not like any of us really read runes anymore, but a quick google search of “Viking runes” yielded a NOVA site (PBS, bitches. They’re reliable) that allows you to write your name in ancient runes. Neither of those names look like that. The closest I can get is the “laus” in “Niklaus”, and “Rebe” and “a” in “Rebekah.” Elijah isn’t even close. What kind of runes are they using? A lot of people were saying they used Tolkien runes, but even a google search of that yielded a rune generator (what times we live in, hahaha) that doesn’t give me what we see written on the wall.
Final verdict: I think maybe the writers/set dressers made up their own while borrowing from both of these. Fine, I guess I can live with that. *dramatic sigh*
Rebekah is carving her name in the wall of a cave, and Niklaus is impatiently waiting his turn. Their father need not know that she is wielding a blade and such, but because Niklaus is
a little bitch afraid of him, he always tells.
Blah blah blah, they’re all afraid of him, blah blah blah, they need to stick together.
Am I the only one irked by the fact that they still have their British accents?
Back in the present, Elena is Captain Obvious again, all, “these are the names of the Original family?!” Alaric says more things, and then points out the last name written on the wall: Mikael.
A quick check with my websites, and I get the “Mi” and “ael” in both Viking and Hobbit runes. Who knows where that chicken footprint came from.
More importantly, why is Mikael’s name on the wall too? Did he carve it there first? Did he sneak in there after the kids carved their names and then carved his? Something about this is creepy and doesn’t quite make sense.
Over in Alaric’s apartment, which he has reappropriated since Klaus took it way back when,
he’s studying the pics of the runes and drawings while Damon and Elena have a cutesy fighting training session behind him.
They’re all blahdy-blah about how the writing or pictures might lead them to the weapon that Mason said could kill Klaus. Elena is all, “Fine, then we have to figure out what these mean.” No, Elena. I thought you were going to just look at ‘em ‘cause they’re so purdy. Maybe hang ‘em on your wall. Frame ‘em.
For once, Elena has a good idea and suggests they go to Rebekah to have her tell the story of her family so they can decipher the pictures. Because vampires are never unreliable narrators.
Elena finds Rebekah practicing with the cheerleading squad. She shows her the pic of her name on the wall, and wants to know why she and Klaus spend 1,000 years running from their father. Rebekah refuses, and Elena threatens to ask Mikael when they wake him. Rebekah says that no one knows where he is.
If that’s the case, Elena wants to know who’s chilling in a cemetery in Charlotte. Rebekah seems to already know that he’s there.
Hmm. Elena asks why she doesn’t want them to wake Mikael, but she, typically, walks away… and falls into a flashback!
She and another sibling, a dark-haired boy named Henrick (wow, a family member who doesn’t spell his name with just a K), run to watch Elijah and Niklaus engaging in a little good-natured sword fighting.
Let me stop right there. ELIJAH
and Niklaus are sword fighting.
Praise be! And holy Mary mother of all that is Jesus, his arms.
Didja see his arms? They clash swords (not a euphemism), and it looks like little brother has the leg up (also not a euphemism) and slices Elijah’s leather belt clean off.
It’s like they’re just GIVING us the HO-YAY.
But just then Mikael and Mama Original come upon the scene and Daddy Original is very disappointed… in Niklaus.
He yells at him for having fun with a means with which they acquire food, and why is he so mad at Niklaus and not at Elijah? First of all, Elijah is the older brother; you’d think he would know better. Mikael must already know that Niklaus isn’t his son. He takes Elijah’s sword and basically dares Niklaus to sword fight with him. This is more like HO-NO action. Shit, I’m scared of Mikael too.
Mikael knocks Niklaus to the ground and screams at him that he’s impulsive and basically bad.
Mikael: Somedays it’s a miracle you’re still alive… boy.
That is scary as fuck.
Back in the present, Alaric is figuring out some of the symbols, and Elena thinks that she can get through to Rebekah, though it’ll be a power struggle.
Meanwhile, Damon is babysitting Stefan in the
drunk tank rehabilitation center torture chamber. He says Stefan is “pasty and pouty,” and Elena is all, “He’ll get over it.”
Damon goes in, and he and Stefan have a Battle of the Sarcasm, in which Stefan makes a crack at Elena’s repeatedly BAD plans, and I have a laugh.
Damon isn’t a fan of Lexi’s method of rehab, so he has another plan. After realizing that Stefan has given up, he breaks the chains and springs his brother.
Time for some brotherly TLC! Or something.
Elena shows up to the SBH to talk to Rebekah.
Rebekah says that Elena will only learn what she decides to tell her, which doesn’t sound like she’s going to be very reliable to me… but what do I know?
Back at Alaric’s, Bonnie’s brought over the necklace “that wouldn’t die.” Alaric apologizes for Jeremy because he “was once a Jeremy,” which doesn’t surprise me at all. But then again, what boy isn’t a Jeremy at some point, amiright, ladies?! He assures her that Jer will mature eventually. Okay.
He shows her one of the drawings, and it’s a perfect match for the necklace!
Now he knows it stands for “witch,” just like the image of fangs under a sun stands for “vampire” and fangs under a moon stands for “werewolf.”
Back at the SBH, Rebekah is snooping through Stefan’s room.
Boxer-briefs. I’m… not surprised? Also, rawr. Elena tries to get down to business – of the story, you sickos. Elijah said that their parents were landowners in Eastern Europe, how did they end up in MF? GOOD QUESTION, Elena.
Rebekah explains that her parents had just started a family when a plague struck, killing a child. They wanted to “escape and protect their future family from the same fate.” She says that no one in “your history books” had discovered the Americas yet, but a witch her mother knew, Ayanna knew of a mystical land where people were strong and shit. So they went there/came here. To Mystic Falls. The town of the 3 M’s: mystical, magical, mandatory.
So, question here: are we supposed to think that this family is the only one that came over? Because that village seems to have a respectable population. And while we’re at it, seriously? Vikings in goddamn Virginia? Vikings didn’t come to Virginia. Wasn’t the furthest south they came, like, Nova Scotia? What the fuck is this fuckery?
And look, I know the Americas (or hell, maybe they meant MF specifically) wasn’t discovered by anyone in our history books, but are we really supposed to believe that in ALL THOSE YEARS, no one, discovered those cave drawings? What, the Lockwoods moved in immediately and built an underground cellar right in the middle of the woods right over it so that no one ever found it? The first fucking colony was in Virginia. How do we know? Because 1) there is record of it, and 2) people studied the area. They KNOW. So, no, not even the founders of the town, who are the goddamn nosiest people ever, didn’t bother to snoop around the area they were settling? Not even the Fells?
You know what? Fuck the white men. Are you telling me there were no Native Americans roaming around at the time? I mean, they were here well over 1,000 years ago. Or are we meant to assume that the Lockwoods are descendents of the Native American Wolf-men? I just don’t understand what they’re supposed to be selling and what we’re supposed to be buying here. If they’d set this up to be a parallel universe from the get-go, fine. Everything would be dandy. But right from the start, this was supposed to be real, with the added supernatural factor. You can’t just go throwing history around and expect us to eat it up. It would be like Al Capone becoming president on Boardwalk Empire. Despite the fact that that is a historically-based show with fictional elements (like the entire character of Jimmy, for instance), throwing that kind of fuckery in the mix does not stand. You gotta set that shit up. And this? This just feels too much like they’re assuming we won’t notice.
Anyway, where was I? Oh right. Of course the strong people who are already there were werewolves. Because of course they were. Her family lived there peacefully with thei r neighbors for over twenty years, during which time more chirrens were had, including Rebekah. It was like they were normal.
Flashback! Rebekah narrates that once a month, they had to stay inside when their neighbors turned into beast-men things.
While she’s inside, she touches the witch necklace and it burns her because it’s not hers to touch. Before she can say anything to Ayanna about it, she hears a shout. It’s Niklaus.
He and Henrick had snuck out to watch the men turn into wolves, and I guess one of them attacked Henrick, and he’s dying. Niklaus is calling out to his father for help.
Elijah (and his decadent arms) also come running.
Mama Original wants Ayanna to save the boy, but the spirits said no, so she lets him die.
Rebekah explains that the peace ended then, and that was one of the last moments her family had as humans. Just then Damon calls, I’m assuming just to tell Elena that he busted Stefan out of the big house and took him out to drink.
Damon finds a nice blonde for Stefan to drink. Yeah, his methods are WAY different than Lexi’s. Stefan explains that he’s really good at drinking games because he had so much practice at it back when he was boring and on the bunny diet. Then he tells Damon that he is worse than Elena. If anyone ever told me I was worse than Elena, I would cry myself to sleep at night, but Damon takes it in stride.
Stefan thinks Damon wants to bring him back from the edge, but Damon says he likes the edge, but I’m not liking this conversation because it’s very much like a drug addict trying to teach another drug addict how to keep using without ODing, so I’m just going to skip on over to the next scene.
Back at the SBH, Rebekah is going on about how Stefan is a vampire and vampires could not give a shit about humans and the shit they do. Elena is all sarcastic, in-her-face about how Rebekah sure seems to want to go to the Homecoming dance.
Elena’s about to leave when Rebekah starts in on another flashback again. Ugh. You guys remember that Rebekah is crazy, right? Klaus even said that – that she was crazier even than he is. So everything she’s telling us is probably not true. Or not all-the-way true anyway, right? Unreliable narrator and such.
Rebekah tells Elena that the necklace belonged to the Original Witch who put the hybrid curse on Klaus and who turned them all into vampires to begin with.
In the flashback, Mikael is begging Ayanna to talk to the spirits and work her juju to help them, but Ayanna says no. Mama Original says the spirits could help them protect their children… by turning them into vampires.
Elena asks why not just leave instead of turning their children into vampires? Pride. *DRAMATIC EYE ROLL*. If the weres bit, they had to bite harder. If the weres could run and jump, the vamps had to run faster and jump higher. Basically Mikael wanted the witch to conjure up some PF Flyers for all his kids.
All senses had to be heightened and he wanted them to live forever.
Ayanna warned that they can’t do it; it’s the making of a plague. Funny how they came here to escape one only to want one put on their children anyway. A different kind, but still. Ayanna peaces out of there so Mama Original has to do it.
Because she was ALSO a witch! Not just that, but the witch of the Original family. Hence the Original Witch. GASP. *yawn*
Rebekah explains that Mama wasn’t a vamp, though because she was a servant of nature. Vamps are abominations of nature, so you can’t be both.
Don’t look so confused, Elena.
Rebekah explains how Mama juju’d the white oak tree, and Mikael fed them all wine with blood, and then killed them with his sword.
Once they woke again, they had to drink more blood to complete the ritual.
Apparently it was
orgasmic euphoric, but Ayanna was right – for every strength, they had a weakness. The sun became an enemy.
Mama worked around that with rings, but there was the whole people could keep them out of their homes thing,
and the flowers (vervain!) at the base of the white oak burned and prevented compulsion. That very tree, the one that gave them life, could also kill them.
We see a flashback of them burning the tree, and Elijah is just the highlight of this part.
His hair. His hair wins all the awards. You’re just trying to distract us, writers!
Rebekah explains that the worst part was the craving for blood, and they couldn’t control it. In the flashback she messily attacks a villager.
“With that, the predatory species was born.”
Back at the bar, Damon and Stefan are being vamp drunks. Stefan wants to know why Damon let him out, and Damon’s all, “I thought you could use a hug.”
Damon also suggests that maybe he wants to remind Stefan what freedom is like. He says that Stefan can either sit around being Klaus’ bitch, or he can get mad
or get GLAD® and defeat Klaus. Just as Stefan is all, “he can’t be killed,” Mikael walks up all, “maybe I can help with that.”
Back at the SBH, Elena wants to know why Mikael started hunting Klaus.
Bex explains that when he made his first human kill, his werewolf gene was triggered. Mama Original Witch (MOW) put the hybrid curse on him and then turned her back on him. Awww. Since the affair hurt Mikael’s pride, and because all emotions are heightened as a vamp, he went on a rampage and killed half the village. Then he came home and killed MOW.
Rebekah: He said she broke his heart, so he would break hers. He tore it from her chest as Nick watched.
After that, Mikael ran off, and the rest of the family scattered.
But Niklaus stayed behind to help her bury their mother… in gravel?
She assures him that MOW didn’t hate him, she was just afraid.
And he makes a Buffalo Bill face, and ugh, I’m suddenly creeped out. Wow, this hasn’t happened since last season…
Rebekah and Elijah promise that they’ll never turn their backs on him.
And Elijah’s shirt has a tiny little opening where it ties at the neck and I’m sorry but I’m distracted by the chesthair.
They make a pledge to stick together “always and forever.”
Elena is skeptical of this pledge seeing as Klaus locked Rebekah in a coffin for 90 years (anyone else having a hard time thinking of 1920 til now as 90 years? I keep wanting to say 80 years. Ugh, the passage of time.). Rebekah excuses it because emotions and personalities are heightened: she’s stubborn, Elijah moral and Klaus has no tolerance for people who disappoint him. Elena seems confused by the fact that Bex still loves Klaus even though he’s done horrible things to her in the past. Hello, Elena. Family? Rebekah is all “I’m immortal” and “am I supposed to spend eternity alone?”
Hmm… this could have a bad effect on Elena’s tentative emotional strength right now.
Now very emotional, Rebekah tries to kick Elena out. She also tries to get her to just admit that she wants Mikael to kill Klaus. Elena is all “but Klaus has a hold over Stefan blah blah blah” and it makes me REALLY uncomfortable how close it looks like they are while they’re talking.
Like, I hope y’all had breath mints right before shooting. Coconut water can’t smell that great. Rebekah says to go ahead and go find Mikael, but if they go after Klaus she will rip her apart.
Rebekah: And I get my temper from my father.
Back in the bar, Mikael and the Salvatores are playing 20 Questions to determine where Klaus is.
Stefan says he’s compelled so he can’t answer, and Damon hilariously says he hopes 20 Questions isn’t Mikael’s secret weapon.
Mikael gets all up in Damon’s grill saying that he’s 1,000 years older than Damon, that’s how he found him. It’s why he’s going to find Niklaus. Damon points out that Klaus has been running for 1,000 years so if Mikael things he can get a
reachwork-around here – but he’s cut off when Mikael shoves his hand in Damon’s chest and makes a fist around his heart.
He warns Stefan that one move and he’s ripping it out of Damon. He asks again where Klaus is, and if Stefan doesn’t answer, he’ll kill Damon… unless of course Stefan doesn’t care. Damon explains that he’s been compelled so he CAN’T care. But Mikael is skeptical that Klaus’ compulsion skills are that powerful.
Stefan is clearly struggling, but at the last moment Stefan stops Mikael. He says he can lure Klaus back to Mystic Falls. Mikael is all “there’s our loophole!” because he’s a crazy bastard.
Mikael: Get Klaus back to Mystic Falls and I will gladly drive a stake through his heart. Fail and I’ll drive it through yours.
Wait, I thought stakes didn’t work on Klaus because he was a were too? Then again, I guess a stake through the heart kills pretty much anything.
Alaric, Elena and Bonnie are back in the cave labeling everything, and Elena is filling them in on Rebekah’s story. But they find one part that doesn’t add up.
The symbol of the witch shows death by forcible heart extraction, which Bex said Daddy did, but there’s a mystery symbol there in between live MOW and dead MOW. Bonnie says they haven’t gotten that far yet.
Now that I’m watching this again, and I have the clarity that I was lacking when I first watched this half-asleep at 2am last Friday morning, it’s very clear to me that it’s a sun and a moon, and two sets of fangs. Alaric has been poring over this ALL DAY LONG, and Bonnie’s been helping. But are you fucking telling me that ELENA is the one who figures out that it’s the fucking symbol for the fucking hybrid? Elena figures it out. E-LE-NA. That’s really what’s going on here? Just making sure I wasn’t on the crazy pills.
Elena realizes Rebekah doesn’t know the real story so she of course goes back to tell her and rub her nose in it or something. Bex says she knows that Mikael killed her mother because Niklaus was there; he told her. Elena shows Rebekah a bunch of photographs of the drawings and explains that the whole story is there,
but the symbol for the hybrid is there at MOW’s death. Now, now, maybe it’s there because he was just watching? Yeah, not even I believed that.
Also? Why does the symbol for the witch look like the Tin Man? I mentioned this last week, but I still don’t get it. Whatevs.
So, Rebekah is in denial now. She doesn’t believe that Klaus would lie to her. Elena reasons that MOW ensured that Klaus would be the only one of his kind and then turned her back on him. That must have made him angry and, well, you can figure it out. He killed her, he lied, etc. Rebekah calls a bunch of people stupid and because Elena doesn’t know when to shut up, Rebekah pins her against the wall.
That is, until she starts feeling all the feelings and breaks down and cries instead.
Back outside the bar, the brothers are all “well now where know where Klaus and Elijah learned their tricks.” Hee. Damon almost compliments Stefan on his breakthrough, which Stef denies.
Stefan says he didn’t do it for Damon; he did it for himself. Because once Klaus is dead, Stefan will be free… to leave. Damon says he has to save him because if it weren’t for
his horse, he never would have spent that year in college him, Stefan wouldn’t be in this mess. Because Damon OWES him, and he can’t leave him to rot.
Stefan: You better be careful, brother. Your humanity is showing.
Then Damon hauls off and punches and kicks Stefan. Dick! Okay, he kind of deserved it.
Back at the SBH, Rebekah is still
dry heaving crying.
Over at la Casa de Gilbert, Damon is waiting on Elena’s bed. They found Mikael and the plan is in motion. Damon wants her to yell at him about Stefan, but she’s not mad. She’s just tired. But they got Mikael on their side, and Elena says she thinks they got Rebekah on their side too. Because she’s just a girl who loves blindly and recklessly (POT MEET KETTLE).
Elena comes to a realization: there’s nothing more important than the bond of family. She thinks Damon is going to be the one to save Stefan.
Elena: It won’t be because he loves me. It’ll be because he loves you.
(All screencaps courtesy of hotn-caps.com)