Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Alaric tries to teach Elena to use some of his special vamp-hunting weapons, but she’s too much of a weakling, so we get to see slightly awkward training scenes. Meanwhile, Stefan is being a giant dick because he’s still under Klaus’ influence and he’s being forced to be around Elena all the time, which is a hoot. Elena, Damon and Alaric devise a plan to capture Stefan and lock him in the Forbes Family Vampire Torture Cellar. So Damon tries to distract Rebekah, but only gets himself stabbed. Elena and Alaric manage to get Stefan, but then their car goes up in flames because of Vicki, who has been released into the world by Matt. Matt realizes his error, and Bonnie helps him to send Vicki back to where she belongs. But unfortch, when he frees Vicki, he also frees a bunch of other ghosts because Uncle Douchcanoe is back! Oh, and meanwhile down in NC, Kathi finds out that Mikael is a vamp who eats other vamps – the HARD way. DRAMA!
Oh, looky who’s all chained to a chair again.
Hey Damon, why don’t you get Elijah to… oh, right. He can’t save you now because NO ONE HAS BOTHERED TO #PULLTHEGODDAMNDAGEROUT YET. And it’s at the hands of a fucking werewolf again. Damon, dude. This is a problem.
And if he weren’t already impaled by a heinous piece of metal, Mason’s standing there staring daggers at him would do the job.
But Damon seems to think that it’s Stefan who’s behind this “twisted Ripper game,” especially when he spots his Get Out of Death Free ring lying on the floor. NOT on his finger. But Stefan comes into the room and does his Door Jamb Lean (patent pending), he’s all, “What game?”
Stefan denies he did anything, and pulls the fire poker out of Damon’s chest before leaving.
As Damon’s trying to loosen the chains, smug Uncle Douchecanoe throws open the curtains. OMGWTFINDOORBBQ!
Speaking of organized events, apparently the founders are at it again. Carol is speaking at yet another even in the town square. Tonight’s even is called “Night of Illumination,” which sounds like an Earth Day lights-out conservation initiative, only with lanterns, a tradition that the founding families started. Because of course they did. “Here’s Tobias Fell with a history lesson.” Uh-oh. A Fell.
Elena comes up to Jeremy and Alaric in the crowd and asks what she missed. Anna pops up and says she missed a bunch of “historical lies,” and I have a laugh.
But because no one can see or hear her but Jeremy, he responds, “You didn’t miss anything.” Heh. They stand there and watch, and then Anna grabs Jeremy’s hand and awwwwwww! You guys!
Elsewhere, Bonnie is helping Caroline hang some decorations.
Caroline asks if Bonnie was able to close the open line for Anna as well as Vicki, but Bonnie says no. She blocked Vicki from getting a foothold, but if the Jerm still wants to see Anna, and her him, then Bonnie can’t stop that.
To that I say, neener neener neener. But that’s just me. Bonnie’s def not okay with it, but she doesn’t know what to do about it either.
Just then, Damon drives up. Hooray.
Damon: Greetings, Blondie. Witchy.
He tells Bonnie that she got her “voodoo wires crossed” when he sent Vicki
back to hell wherever it was she came from because Mason Lockwood paid him a visit, too.
Caroline is all “I thought you said ghosts can’t interact with people,” and Bonnie says that they can’t. And THIS is what makes me hope more than anything for Jeremy/Anna GhostSex. Yeah, I said it. Damon’s all “when people are dead, they’re supposed to stay dead.” Um, aren’t YOU dead, Damon?
Anyway, he tells Bonnie to “fix it.”
Over at the Mystic Grill, Elena recruits Jeremy to help her go through Stefan’s journals to reach Lexi so she can help Elena Intervention Stefan’s ass.
Jeremy’s not sure he’ll be able to, and that’s assuming Lexi is on the “other side,” which Anna says is like being here with everyone, only no one can see or hear her.
Alaric points out that Vicki could interact with people, and warns that maybe they should be more careful about summoning dead people. I concur.
Back over with Blondie and Witchy, Matty assures Bonnie that Vicki is gone. Bonnie says that if anyone else other than Vicki has a physical foothold in this world, then that is a horrible, horrible situation. Matty is sick of it again and walks away.
Caroline starts gearing up for a Jeremy lecture, but Bonnie’s had it with that too. She goes to pick up her bag to leave, but it’s not zipped and her grimoire falls out and magically (pun!) falls open to a specific page.
Caroline: Please tell me that’s a recipe for witch cookies.
No! But it IS a manifestation spell to reveal “veiled matter” — ghosts. Just what they need. How lucky!
Back at the Mystic Grill, Elena is still bugging Jeremy about Lexi. He says that he never even knew her, so he doesn’t know if he could summon her.
Alaric, again, is warning about all the dead vampires they have in their past.
Do they really need to bring one back? I think he has a valid point here. Always the voice of reason, our drunk. Anna starts telling Jeremy that she doesn’t think that all dead spirits go to the other side. Some of them find peace. But the way Jeremy is looking wistfully at the empty chair at their table, Elena knows Anna is there.
(Side note: The fact that there is an empty chair at the table cracks me the fuck up. It’s like having a place set at the dinner table for Lars’ girlfriend in Lars and the Real Girl, which is an awesome movie, btw.) Anna tells Jer not to tell her, and he excuses himself from the table.
Just then Stefan comes up and takes Jeremy’s seat, but for a minute, I thought he was going to take Anna’s seat and I yelled, “DON’T SIT ON HER!” Don’t worry, guys. Anna is safe. Stefan notices his journals on the table and picks one up.
He’s all “I forgot how much I used to care,” which is kind of callously awesome. Elena says she hasn’t forgotten, and just give it up, girl. Stefan tells her not to torture herself with memories of the past.
Seeing how uncomfortable Elena is getting, Alaric tells Stefan that he doesn’t have to be there, but Stefan brings up the bodyguard thing again.
And he makes a joke about eating people, and he’s such a awesome jerk, it’s fun.
Elena is not amused.
Over on Witch Mountain, Caroline and Bonnie are visiting the site of the witch house where Bonnie brought Jeremy back to life. Bonnie assures Caroline that the witches are gone from there, and they’re not coming back. Well if they’re not there, then why did they have to go all the way out there to do the spell?
Wasn’t the point of going there before that the witches were there and BonBon could feed off their power? Whatevs.
Back at the Mystic Grill, Jeremy wants to know why Anna didn’t want Elena to know that she was there. It’s because Elena is Bonnie’s friend, and Anna doesn’t want her ratting her out about what’s going on between them.
Jer’s all “What IS going on between us?”
As if you don’t know, Jeremy! Neither of them understands how they’re able to touch when Vicki had to use magic. IT’S BECAUSE OF TRUE LURVE! But then Jeremy gets all serious and asks if the witch who helped Vicki is helping Anna too. She vehemently denies it and swears to him that she’s alone. He says out loud again (like it does any good) that he shouldn’t be here with her, and she dares him to send her away. She wants to be with him just as much as he wants to be with her.
He walks back over to her and says that he doesn’t know why this is going to end, but before it does, he has to do “this.” And then he lays the fucking kiss down on her.
And it’s sweet, and kind of hot and Aneremy/Jeranna/JerGhostAnnaemy forever!
Back over at Witch House, Caroline is bored and Bonnie has already started her chanting.
I’d like to see what the script says when Bonnie’s chanting. Does it actually have words? I wonder if they’re made up, or if they’re Latin or something? If I actually cared more, I would Google. Anyway, the wind starts blowing inside the house, so you know shit is starting to go down. Caroline looks uber creeped out.
Girl, you’re a vampire. Chill.
Back inside the Grill, Damon needs Alaric’s help, but Alaric is all “we’re not friends; I don’t like you anymore.” I’m not paraphrasing that. Those are his words.
Damon: Ah, but remember back when you liked me and we conspired to kill Uncle Werewolf, Mason Lockwood?
Alaric: Yeah. And?
Damon: I think he’s still a little pissed.
Over at Witchy Manor, Caroline is still creeped to the core.
I’m just waiting for the candle boners, but they never come. Instead, suddenly Bonnie is holding hands with… GRAM!
Back at the Grill, Elena sees Anna and Jeremy hugging in the… WAIT. Two options here: 1) Why was Jeremy in the ladies’ room with GhostAnna, or 2) Why did Elena just barge into the mens’ room. Wow. I… I can’t even… I don’t know what to say…
Outside, Stefan sees Lexi in a car window reflection.
And she’s really there! Oh, and inside, Mason has come to have a drink (and smash Damon with a shot glass) with Damon and Alaric.
Damon is all, “Told ya.”
Back outside, Lexi doesn’t know how Stefan can see her either, but it’s time to get down to business: he’s off the rails. BIG TIME. And what kind of friend would she be if she didn’t help him, even against his will?
He’s being petulant, so she smashes his head against the car’s window.
Back on Witch Mountain, Gram tells Bonnie to stop crying.
HAHAHA YESSS (Klaus’d!).
She tells her straight – she messed up. There were consequences to bring Jeremy back, but she did it anyway. Gram explains that when Bonnie did that, she cracked open a door between the worlds and an old witch on the Other Side took advantage of her and what she did. And sending Vicki away wedged the door wide open. Bonnie asks what the witch wants, but Gram says that that’s “Original Vampire” business, not hers.
Hmm. But she needs to set everything right and close the door.
Over at the Grill, Elena is on the phone talking the plan out with Caroline.
They can close the door, but they have to destroy the witch’s talisman, which is, all together now, ELENA’S NECKLACE. It’s a “juju” power source. Elena, because she’s wearing her bitchy pants today, says that she just caught Jeremy making out with the “reason” (for this trouble? How?) so she is TOTALLY on board with the plan. Dammit, Elena. She says she doesn’t have the necklace though; Damon’s hidden it.
She gets off the phone and starts Girl Code-ing it up in there and telling Anna she needs to disappear.
Jeremy’s all, “I don’t know how it happened. It just did.” As much as I love Jeremy and Anna, and as much as I rejoiced when they started playing smacky mouth, that’s like saying, “Well, we were just walking around naked minding our own business when I tripped and fell into her and we just started having sex.” Bad. Bad.
Mad because she’s friends with Bonnie, Elena storms out of the bathroom, and runs into Lexi, who drags her away to Ripper Detox: Crash Course 101.
And the girl who just called Girl Code on Anna, now is going to make a boy who has done nothing but cause her grief lately as priority #1. Way to go.
Over at the bar, Damon’s apparently got a text about the necklace. Mason interrupts to say that he wants one of them to pay for his drink. Also, he wants an apology.
Uncle Douchecanoe says he’s here to help Tyler, and Damon scoffs.
He can’t do that while Klaus is alive. Mason posits that it’s possible to remedy that if they find a weapon that could kill Klaus, implying that he knows just the weapon. But he won’t tell until Damon apologizes.
Damon: You’re right. I didn’t have to kill you. I do a lot of things I don’t have to do.
That’s it? That sucked, dude.
Douchecanoe, accepts it though and tells Damon to meet him at the Lockwood Cellar. And to bring a shovel?
Why? To dig your grave? I hope.
Back in the Forbes Family Vampire Torture Cellar, Lexi and Elena arrive at the extra special jail cell/torture chamber. Elena tells Lexi that Klaus turned off Stefan’s humanity, and Lexi is all,
“well, we’ll just have to convince him to turn it back on.”
Stefan wakes up, and starts to fight against his restraints and raising his voice. Lexi shushes him and reminds him to use his inside voice… because she’s trying to get inside his head…?
Stefan tries to get Elena to make Lexi leave, but no dice. Lexi says that the first step is to “dry him out” to eliminate the blood lust.
And then she fucking starts using her weird dead vampire juju to… desiccate him WITH MIND BULLETS…??? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!
Over in the Lockwood Cellar, Damon has gone to meet with Mason.
Mason’s surprised that Damon came, and Damon admits his only other Klaus lead kind of fell through. Somehow Mason seems to know that it was Mikael.
Whatever. Damon asks what he’s there for, and Uncle Knows-Too-Much starts blathering about how there’s an old Lockwood family legend about a weapon that can kill an Original Vampire. Um WHAT WHAT WHAT?! WTF do the Lockwoods have to do with the Original Vampires? How do they…? What…? I don’t… Oh, show, you better be going somewhere good with this.
Side note: Lemme guess. The Lockwoods are the original werewolf family with whom Mama Original shacked up and begat Klaus, right?
Anyway, Damon starts hacking away at the brick wall with his vamp strength and they find a secret passage way. He makes UKTM go first, just in case it’s a trap. Good call.
Back in the Torture Chamber of Good Intentions, Stefan is suffering something awful, and has apparently begun the metaphorical vindictive cursing (“I wish I never met you” type cursing, not “fuck” type cursing) portion of the detox.
Elena gets a phone call from Caroline that the necklace wasn’t where Damon said it would be.
But now Elena wants them to hold off on the ritual because Lexi is there helping Stefan. Caroline agrees they can hold off, but then they’re dealing with the Ghost-Boyfriend dramas, which Bonnie totes hears.
She wants to know why it was plural, and Girl Code strikes again because Caroline just spills the info about the little make-out sesh. Bonnie, understandably freaks out a bit, but Caroline promises that they’ll make that
bitch disappear. I’m sorry, but I just can’t tell Anna that. Look, I hate Bonnie. I don’t got not Girl Code loyalties!
Out on the town square, the residents have really started gathering. Because they haven’t learned anything about personal safety at any of the other mandatory town events. Jeremy is wandering around looking for Anna when he runs into a dude and OMG IT’S FREDERICK, the dude who was leading the whole pack of vamps at the end of Season 1!!
Carol asks Alaric if he’s seen Tobias Fell because he’s supposed to be making a speech or something like that. Since they can’t find Fell, Alaric is filling in. Meanwhile, Anna runs into Frederick, who has a very well-groomed goatee (that I don’t remember him having in S1, but I could be mistaken), who is all, “Still hanging out with the Gilbert kid, huh?” Anna asks him what he wants, and Freddie says that they have some unfinished business with the Founding Families. Oh goody.
Up on stage, Alaric starts the Night of Illumination by saying “Let’s light ‘em up,” and then a bunch of lights strung together with paper lanterns over them turn on. Just like they did in the olden days. Ah, tradition. But then there’s a scream as the lights illuminate Tobias Fell, strung up on a tree, dead.
Well, played, Frederick. Well played.
Back in the Pit of Despair, Stefan is all, “I’m hurting waaaahhhhh,” but Lexi tells Elena to tune him out.
Stefan says he’ll change, he’ll do anything. He apologizes. He just wants her to make it stop.
Lexi basically tells her she has to turn her humanity off to deal with it – she has to separate her emotions.
Then Stefan pulls out the big guns and tells her that he loves her, but she doesn’t believe him, so he’s pulls the cursing bit on her too.
Stefan: You know what? I don’t want your help anyway. I wish I’d never met you. Ever single moment that I’ve spent with you has been a complete and total waste.
Lexi explains that’s just the Ripper talking, but I will tell you what. The way his voice got all growling when he said that. Gurrrllll. Look, I know what he said was totally heinous, but gurl. Gurl. GURL.
Anyway, Lexi says that now when he’s weak enough, Elena has to cause him pain, make him feel things – rage, anything. He has to see past the blood. She does more weird things with her mind and Stefan looks like he’s in pain.
She stabs him with something and Elena runs out of the room. She can’t deal.
Outside, Elena notices the commotion going on in the square. The town’s one ambulance is wheeling Mr. Fell away covered in a white sheet. Tragedy.
Back at the SBH, Caroline and Bonnie are still ransacking Damon’s room.
Caroline even looks all through Damon’s DECORATIVE SOAPS for it, but comes up empty handed. Can we just take a moment and celebrate how awesome it was for Caroline to stand there with two handfuls of fancy soaps? Damon’s definitely learned his lesson.
Just then Bonnie’s phone rings, and it’s Jeremy, so Caroline answers.
He tells her what’s going down in the square and suggests that they find the necklace PDQ before the tomb vamps start going alphabetically through the Founding Families. Caroline suggests that maybe Anna took it, but Jeremy believes her when she says that she didn’t.
The fact that Anna knew what Jeremy was going to ask when he turned to look at her, but didn’t say anything makes me a bit suspicious. But I like Anna too, so I’ll give her the benefit.
Caroline calls him an idiot and tells him to “wake up before you lose everything.”
And now Anna has disappeared, so… maybe I shouldn’t.
Over in the woods, Uncle Douchecanoe and Damon are still wandering the secret catacombs for the
Cask of Amontillado magical Original Vamp-killing weapon. He and Mason chat about how they still don’t trust each other, and I really don’t care.
They come to a fork and Damon asks which way. I suggest the one MORE traveled by, but Mason tells Damon to take the left… which leads him RIGHT into some booby traps.
Specifically, vervain-laced wooden spikes criss-cross through Damon, and hey, that sucks.
Back in the square, Elena is quickly devising a plan. Of course Anna took the necklace; she’s the only one who heard them talking about it. They need to get it back and close the door, with Anna on the other side. Jeremy says he knows they have to, but he doesn’t want to.
He’s finally got his Anna back. They can touch, and he loves her, and aww. But, listen, you guys. Listen to how he says it. “I’ve always loved her.” Anna. OMG does this mean this is the for-real end of Bonermy?
Elena reminds him that Anna is dead. Everything he’s holding on to is in the past. She asks if he’s going to love a ghost for the rest of his life. Then she gets this sort of far-away look and for once I think she’s finally heard her own preaching and is going to take it to heart in HER OWN PROBLEMS, but really she just spots Anna behind Jeremy.
Elena pleads with Anna now; Anna’s just holding Jeremy back. So Anna gives them the necklace.
Oh, shizz. Elena tells Jeremy to call Bonnie and get her to send the ghosts away.😦
Back in the Temple of Doom, Mason helps Damon out by breaking the giant spikes and pulls them out of his body.
Damon wants to know what Mason’s game is. He, Damon, chained Mason up, punched his hand into Mason’s chest and ripped Mason’s heart out (literally). He doesn’t believe Mason’s buddy-trust deal. Mason explains that when you die, all you can do is sit there and watch the ones you’ve left behind and regret your decisions. He says he can’t change what happened to him, but he can maybe do that for Tyler.
“I don’t need revenge, Damon. I need redemption.”
Bonnie and Caroline are driving to Witch Mountain, and they have to go through town square. They notice Carol Lockwood’s car crashed into a tree, and Caroline sees Frederick and the other ghosts descending on it.
Caroline sends Bonnie away. Bonnie and Elena have their ghost-boyfriend drama, but Caroline is about to face ghost-boyfriend’s mama drama.
She tells her to go do the spell and send all the ghosts back.
It’s clobberin’ time.
On the other side of the square, Jeremy is trying to convince Anna that this doesn’t have to be goodbye, that they can still see each other, she just won’t have the foothold, but Anna says that what Elena said makes sense.
And the only reason she took the necklace was in hopes of finding her mother among the other tomb vamps. Anna starts crying, and it’s so sad, y’all. She says she doesn’t want to be alone anymore, and Jeremy promises her that she won’t be.
She gives up the necklace, and he leaves.
Back in the Pit of Despair, Lexi stabs Stefan in the gut again, but he’s still berating her. Elena says they’re almost out of time, but Lexi hasn’t broken Stefan yet. Lexi turns to Stefan. She wants him to remember how he felt about the necklace.
He once told her he found it during a dark time, and it once symbolized hope for him.
He’s all, “then it’s ironic it’s about to be blown to pieces.”
Down in the cellar, Damon runs into an invisible shield/wall thing (that makes an actual noise when he runs into it), and he can’t go any further.
Instead of figuring it out, Mason proceeds into the room and looks all over the walls. Hmm, methinks he found something interesting.
Back at Witch Manor, Jeremy has come to give Bonnie the necklace, and she snatches it form him and I’m surprised he’s not dead from the look she’s giving him.
She throws the necklace in the fireplace and starts the spell. Gram appears, and they both chant the spell.
The fire begins to spark.
Back in the town square, Caroline is fighting the tomb vamps single-handedly, and she’s kind of winning until Frederick gets a hold of her.
But he just suddenly disappears (and Caroline’s shoes are super cute)!!!
Down in the cellar, Damon asks what Mason found, and he’s about to explain when he too disappears!
In the torture chamber, Lexi tells Elena that Stefan is still in there somewhere, she just needs to help him to break through. Elena tells her she can be free, and Lexi disappears.
Outside on the square, Anna… Anna finally found… OH GOD ANNA FINALLY FOUND HER MAMA!
And POOF! They’re gone too.
Back in Witch Command Central, the necklace is all melted,
and Grams tells Bonnie she’s all proud of her
and POOF! She’s gone too.
Back in the cellar, Alaric has arrived so he can get into the room (that vamps are locked out of, apparently) and tell Damon what’s in there.
Alaric was reluctant to come since Damon is a giant douche who doesn’t like to apologize for the shit he do.
Damon is all, “If Mason Lockwood can get over the fact that I klled him, why can’t you?”
Alaric says it’s not as easy as that because they were friends once. Damon shouldn’t have done it in the first place. Damon starts with his whole stupid “Sometimes I do things I don’t have to do” spiel again, and Alaric calls him on it, and Damon is all, “Yeah, well, I didn’t mean it with him.”
And he smiles his crooked smile, and you guys, just make out already.
Over in the torture chamber, Stefan asks if Elena is just going to stand there waiting for him to dry out. She says no. She’s got other shit to do.
Stefan says she’s giving up, seeing as Lexi gave her a glimpse into her future.
Elena still has a measure of hope though, and she ain’t giving up until Stefan get his back. He needs to fight and get through it, or he won’t have her forever.
This seems to strike some nerve because he looks up at her and doesn’t try to eat her. She says she won’t spend the rest of her life loving a ghost, and ooh, she DID listen to her own advice.
On Witch Mountain, Jeremy says he owes her an apology, but Bonnie is all “Bitch, please.” Matt let go of his sister before Jeremy let go of Anna.
Bonnie: You know what you owe me? The respect of not making me listen to you explain yourself.
Oooh, burn! She tells him to leave. Um… score one for Bonnie…?
But before I can ponder the very confusing feelings of siding with Bonnie on something, more sparks fly from the fire place, and OMG THE NECKLACE IS INTACT AGAIN!
In the catacombs, Alaric is amazed by whatever is on the walls too. Damon asks what it is, and Alaric has no idea.
They’re cave drawings. Of… WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!
I don’t know but, you guys, the last one flashed on the screen before we get the ending title card looks like the Tin Man holding the necklace above his head.
(All screencaps courtesy of hotn-caps.com)