Previously on The Vampire Diaries: The Salvatore brothers sign their house over to Elena, making it a safe house for her since no vamp can enter unless SHE invites them in. Of course it’s not nearly as effective when she leaves the house. At school, everyone is gearing up for another Decade Dance (this time, the Acid-Tripalicious 60s!), and Elena & BonBon get a cryptic warning that Klaus will be there. At their afterschool powwow, we see that Elena’s safehouse isn’t safe from Klaus now that he can waltz right in since he’s in Ric’s body. Oh shit. He’s unconvinced of Bonnie’s powers, but later when he reveals that he actually IS Klaus in a Ric suit, Bonnie unleashes windy-sparky hell on his ass. But because wielding all that power is supposed to kill her, she drops down dead and Klaus escapes. Dammit! Elena screams and cries, but it’s cool because Damon reveals that Bonnie’s not REALLY dead! It was a trick. No way! Elena slaps him, and he tells her that he will ALWAYS choose her over anyone else, and because Damon makes her belligerent, Elena takes her ass down to the basement and #PULLSTHEDAGGEROUT of Elijah and waits for him to reanimate! HOLY SWEET MOTHER!
We pick up right where we left off. Elena’s hanging out in the basement waiting for Elijah to wake up.
Then suddenly he gasps and his body jerks violently. Elena jumps up and scrambles to his side. He looks up at her with an expression of pure shock.
“Katerina!” he says hoarsely.
FLASHBACK TIME! England 1492. Hey, it’s Trevah!
He walks up to Elijah (who, I must say, has fantastic hair), saying that he would not miss this birthday celebration. Especially considering the gift he’s brought, Elijah adds.
“Where is this mystery girl of which you speak?” Elijah asks. Trevor leads him to her. It’s Katerina!
As Elijah gets closer to her, a look of fond recognition comes over him, aww.
She greets him politely, and he takes a breath to speak.
Back in present day, Elena is trying to calm him, but he’s still looking up at her with the same expression.
He’s gasping for breath, and she’s telling him to keep quiet. “Oh my god,” he says. (Christina: *shivers*).
Flashbackland. Elijah is still staring at Katerina.
Elijah: Forgive me. You remind me of someone.
Trevor butts in to introduce them. “The Lord Elijah” extends his hand and Katerina takes it sweetly, all “it’s my pleasure” and Elijah kisses the back of her hand. (Cin & Christina: *SWOON*)
Back in present day, Elijah’s calmed down a bit, though he’s still pretty intensely staring at Elena.
Like, almost suspiciously intensely. His body relaxes like he’s dead again until he jerks and rolls to the side. Like seriously Frankenstein-like action here, folks. He gets up, still gasping for breath.
He tells Elena that can’t breathe, and tries to run out of the room but runs into the wall instead.
Elena puts her arm around him to steady him.
Elijah: I can’t… I can’t be in this house.
Elena: You’re not invited in.
Elijah: Get me out of here.
He runs through the house
and Elena follows. By the time she reaches the front door, Elijah is kneeling on the ground outside.
His clothes are seriously a tattered mess. Damon, don’t think we don’t remember who’s responsible for that (Cin: *watching you*). Elijah tries to come back in the house, but he’s blocked by the invisible vamp-guard.
Elijah: What happened?
Elena shushes him, and points upstairs and to her ear. Shh — Damon and Stefan might hear. Right, because they’ll hear his quiet talking, but they won’t hear the ruckus he was making running into walls and shit trying to get out of the house. “Not here,” she more mouths than whispers.
“Can I trust you?”
Elijah asks her the same thing back, and I think that’s a valid question given how he got all deadified last time. Elena considers for a minute before handing him the Original-killing dagger.
Elijah takes it, and seems rather astonished. Us too. Elena taking matters into her own hands? SHOCKING! Anyway…
Upstairs at the SBH, Stefan is JUST NOW waking up. He calls out for Elena, but she’s not around. Out in the hallway, Ms. Starrrrr hasn’t seen her either.
Just then Damon comes out and shares a sweet morning kiss with his beard.
Stefan turns to ask Damon where Elena is, but Damon’s all
“I don’t know, Stefan. She’s your girlfriend. Mine’s right here.” Feeling feelings sucks, doesn’t it, Damon?
Stefan gets on the phone while we can hear Damon telling Andie that he’s hungry. She’s asking if he can drink a bloodbag instead. Heheh. On Stefan’s phone, Elena doesn’t answer. Stefan turns back to Damon and Andie, cleary miffed about… I don’t know, really. Maybe that Damon seems to be over their little quarrel from the previous night? Or maybe that Damon is clearly RUNNING FROM their quarrel from the previous night? Either way, Stefan tells Damon that Andie’s not a wind-up toy and she tells him to mind his own business.
Damon’s all “yeah! what she said,” (ha!) and Stefan walks away.
He continues down the wall and notices something odd down by the basement door. He goes to check it out. Damon sees him and runs after him.
They both squeak to a halt in front of the dungeon door. Like, actually squeaked. Like the floor’s been freshly waxed. I mean, we try to keep a clean house, but that was ridiculous. Anyway, they notice that Elijah’s body is gone!
Over at Alaric’s bachelor pad, Maddox is leaving. Kalaric tells him to hurry back; he’s anxious to get out of this body. Oh, shizz. What’s up? Katherine asks where Maddox is going.
Kalaric: To retrieve me. So I can get out of this bad hairdo.
Katherine: Are you sure that’s a good idea, Klaus?
Kalaric: The full moon is almost upon us. I’ve killed the witch. I have the moonstone, and the doppelgänger is waiting in the wings. Oh, I am ready to break this curse.
Katherine: And why would you do that here? There’s so many people who would try and stop you.
Kalaric: Because I have to. It’s the birthplace of the doppelgänger.
Katherine: Didn’t realize that was a requirement.
Kalaric: No, how could you? You betrayed me and fled England before I could give you the details, Katerina. But, I did find your birthplace, and I slaughtered your family. So I guess we’re cool. Let’s just hope that Elena isn’t as stupid as you are.
Katherine: She won’t run. She’ll die before she lets anyone she loves get hurt.
Kalaric: That’s exactly what I’m counting on.
He compels her to not leave until he tells her to.
Across town in Elena’s SUV, Elijah is finishing off a bag o’ Soccer Mom. Elena comments that he looks better (BOY, DOES HE EVER!). He wants to know where she got the dagger, and she promises to tell him everything, but first they have to make a deal.
Elijah’s all “your ability to make demands has LONG passed.” Oh, snap. Elena says she’s not making demands though. She’ll give him her help, if he gives her his.
Elena: You need me to kill Klaus, and I need you.
Elejah shippers: Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh
Just then Elena’s phone rings. It’s Stefan again. She says she’s fine, but Stefan wants to know where Elijah is and basically tries to big-bad-boyfriend her, all “where? I’m on my way!”
She shuts him up by telling him that she needs alone time with Elijah (gurrl, GET. IN. LINE.), that Elijah is a noble man who lives by a code of honor, so she can trust him.
By removing the dagger, she’s proven herself — not to mention the fact that she’d be incredibly stupid to try anything else.
Stefan: You can’t do this alone.
Elena: It’s my decision, Stefan. Please respect it.
Cin & Christina: You GO
She tells Stefan to make sure Damon doesn’t do anything stupid, and says that she’ll be in touch before hanging up.
Elijah holds out his hand for the phone, and she gives it to him.
Back at the SBH, Damon asks Stefan if Elena just hung up on him, and Stefan confirms. “She’s lost it,” Damon declares.
Stefan disagrees — he’s actually seeing her point on this. If anyone can get Elijah to help them kill Klaus, it’d be Elena, he explains. Damon says they already have a way: Bonnie. But Stefan says Elena’s looking for another way since Bonnie would end up killing herself in the process. He says they need to back off of Elena, just let her do her thing, but Damon isn’t listening.
He goes to leave, and Stefan grabs his arm. “I said to BACK OFF.” Ooooohhhhh. Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Back in Elena’s SUV, she tells Elijah that Klaus is in town, inhabiting Alaric’s body.
Elijah’s all “‘Course he has. One of his favorite tricks.” Elena asks what other tricks Klaus has up his sleeve. Elijah is, after all, the only one who knows him.
Return to Flashbackland. Katerina is asking where Klaus is, and Elijah tells her that he’s fashionably late — he likes to make an entrance.
Buffalo Bill Klaus comes in and walks straight up to Katerina.
Elijah: Katerina, may I introduce to you the Lord Niklaus.
Katerina curtsies and Klaus kisses the back of her hand.
Klaus: Niklaus is the name my father gave me. Please,
put the lotion in the basketcall me Klaus.
Okay 1) that was kind of lame. It was like that bad joke, “Mr. Smith? Bwahahaha Mr. Smith is my father. Please, call me John.” *rolls eyes*. 2) What a fucking creeper, eh? *shivers*
We’re over at Lockwood Manor. Elijah and Elena are there ringing the bell and Carol answers. Elijah excuses his clothes by saying they had a bit of an incident (Haha! Understatement of the year.), but he’s hoping she can help. She’s heading off to a meeting,
but he compels her to let them in and give him some of the late Mayor Lockwood’s clothes.
When Carol heads upstairs, Elena asks how he knew Carol wasn’t on vervain, and he says that he was the one that got her off it — right before she and her friends killed him.
Twice. Hmm. Interesting possible red herring. Also, he can TOTES take over as Mayor at anytime now. IT’D BE SO EASY!
Back at the SBH, Jenna is calling Stefan on the phone. She wants to know where everyone is.
Jer and Elena not answering their phones, and Elena left her a bunch of messages to steer clear of Ric. Stefan says it’s hard to explain over the phone, and says she should probably stay on campus for a few more days. Jenna says it’s hard to do from her kitchen. Oh, snap.
She’s supposed to meet Ric at the Mystic Grill for lunch, so Stefan says whatever she does, do NOT meet him there. Christina’s sidenote: I love/hate when people say “whatever you do, don’t…” because it makes me think “what else would they do?” Like Jenna’s just going to make a chicken salad sandwich and sit in bed and watch old 80s RomComs starring Patrick Dempsey. *shrug* Stefan says he’ll be right over.
Damon makes a crack about how he shouldn’t come — wouldn’t want him to do anything stupid now.
Stefan: You’re seriously going to be like this?
Cin & Christina: Hahahaha
Damon: You and your girlfriend’re calling the shots. I’m just backing off.
*rolls eyes* Oh, Damon. You’re going to get yourself in trouble. Just then Andie comes in and Damon declares that they’re going rogue. Oh, goody. We’re gonna need some more eye rolling over here. Our stock just ran out.
Back at Lockwood Manor, Elijah is ALLLL cleaned up. Ahem. I’m going to take this moment and point out that Elijah clearly took a shower (I bet he showers NAKED!). Let’s see him again.
I’m just going to give us a moment to appreciate that. Anyway, Elijah assumes that the Martin witches are dead, and Elena confirms.
Elijah: And Katerina? She would have been released from my compulsion when I died.
Elena: Klaus took her. We think that she may be dead.
Elijah: I doubt that. Not Klaus’ style. Death would be too easy for her after what she did.
Elena: I don’t understand. You say that you want Klaus dead, but you still made Katherine pay for betraying him.
Elijah: I have my own reasons for wanting Katerina to pay. There was a time… I’d have done anything for Klaus.
Flashbackland. Elijah tells Klaus that Katerina is from Bulgaria. Klaus turns on the creepy charm.
Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.Zdraveĭ, Katerina.
Katerina is impressed and giggles like a school girl. “Very good!” She giggles again, and Elijah smiles at her. I love how genuine he looks all the time. I mean, that smile may have been genuine, but compared to the look from Klaus, which looks mostly like hunger to me, it’s refreshing.
Anyway, Klaus asks Elijah if he’d excuse them — he’d like to have a moment alone with Katerina. Elijah says he wouldn’t mind, and bids his brother a happy birthday.
Back in present day, Elijah is all “Yes, Klaus is my brother,” in case Elena didn’t hear the flashback. Elena says she DID hear it, but she was still processing.
Elijah: I’m a little behind on the times, but I believe the term is “OMFG.”
Okay, I know that’s not what he said in the ep, but he said it in the extended preview, and I like that better. So there you go.
To the Bachelor Pad! Katherine is still inside all by her lonesome, with nothing to keep her company but the music. So, naturally, she decides to partake of Alaric’s bourbon.
She takes a swig when she hears someone at the door. It’s Damon and Andie.
She tries to open the door, but it seems Kalaric’s compulsion keeps her from even touching the door knob. Slightly exasperated, she walks away, but good ol’ Damon jiggles the handle and the door pops open. Andie pushes the door open and walks in.
Andie marvels at how Katherine looks exactly like Elena.
Damon agrees and looks up at the ceiling, almost as if he can’t bare to look at Katherine. “Thought you might be dead.” Katherine’s all “unfortunately not.”
Over at la Casa de Gilbert, Stefan arrives and thanks Jenna for not going to the Mystic Grille.
He starts to say that he can explain when Kalaric comes out the kitchen behind him. CRAAAAP.
Kalaric: How’s it goin’?
Back at Lockwood Manor, Elena asks if there’s an entire family of originals. Elijah explains that his father was a wealthy landowner in a town in Eastern Europe, and their mother bore seven children.
Elena: So your parents were human?
Elijah: My whole family was. Our origin as vampires is a very long story, Elena. Just know…
Cin & Christina: What? No! Not ‘just know!’ Tell us! Tell us!
Elijah: … we’re the oldest vampires in the world. We are the original family, and from us all vampires were created.
Elena: Right, but Klaus is your brother. And you want him dead?
Elijah: I need some air. I’m still feeling a tad… dead.
Cin & Christina: Oh, Elijah. You slay us! Get it? Slay? 😉
Elena follows him out of the house.
Back at Alaric’s Bachelor Pad, Andie tells Katherine they’re here to rescue her, but Damon corrects her — they’re there to see if she warrants being rescued. He explains that he had considered that she was dead, but Kalaric was blending too easily. He had to have had some coaching.
Damon pulls out a vial of liquid vervain, which catches Katherine’s eye. She’s all “Is that…” and Damon confirms that yes, it’s vervain, her salvation.
She points out that drinking it won’t undo anything compulsion that Kalaric has already put on her, but he points out that it’ll stop any further compulsion that Kalaric may try. She tries to take it, but Damon wants an answer first.
Damon: You double-crossed us with Isobel. Why?
Katherine: I didn’t think you could stand a chance against Klaus. I was looking out for myself.
Damon: And where did that getcha?
He gives her the vervain, and she drinks it. He tells her that she owes him — and he WILL collect. Uh-oh!
Over at la Case de Gilbert, Kalaric is handling a knife, and oh shit, this can’t be good. Kalaric waxes poetic about how he loves the feel of a knife in his hand,
and Jenna says that she still doesn’t understand. Kalaric’s all “should you tell her, Stefan, or should I?” Jenna asks what he’s talking about.
Kalaric: Do you believe in vampires, Jenna?
She gives one of her blank stares, and Kalaric laughs (one thing we have in common). He implies that no one actually believes in vampires, but they do play a part in history of people and cultures, so as a history teacher, he’s very interested in them. Jenna wants to know what the hell this has to do with anything. Kalaric, by way of apologizing for keeping secrets from her, tells her “his” secret: he’s obsessed with vampires. Great, now I’m picturing Alaric standing in line to see Twilight with all the Twitards… not that you can really consider them vampires, but whatevs.
Anyway… he’s all “there, I said it.” Hahahaha. Jenna asks if he’s joking, and Kalaric says no, turning the question on Stefan. Stefan says he’s a fan of the fang in literature, like Bram Stoker. “Dense, but I appreciate it.” Kalaric says that vamps are the oldest creatures of the night, next to werewolves.
Jenna is still skeptical. “Werewolves. Now I know you’re joking.” Heh. Kalaric mentions the Aztec sun/moon curse. He says it’s funny that both species want the spell broken so badly, they don’t care who they kill on their path to breaking the curse.
AWKWARD stares all around.
Back at Lockwood Manor, Elijah and Elena are continuing their talk outside.
We’re getting more mythology: nothing can kill an original — not sun, fire, or even a werewolf bite. Only wood from one tree — a tree that Elijah’s family made sure to burn: the white oak. He explains that witches won’t allow anything truly immortal to roam the earth; everything has to have a weakness to maintain balance.
Elena asks the thinking fandom’s question: why then, if the sun doesn’t affect them, is Klaus so hell-bent on breaking the Curse of the Sun and the Moon?
Elijah seems amused. “The Curse of the Sun and Moon. All so biblical sounding, isn’t it?”
Flashback! Klaus is sitting on a high-backed chair with some slattern standing over him. She leaves and Elijah walks over carrying a scroll.
Elijah: Look. A Roman parchment.
Klaus: I remember etching this scroll. I was quite blistered from drink.
Elijah: Your finest work remains your Aztec drawings.
Klaus: Not the African carvings, ’cause I was quite pro at those.
Elijah: The Aztec. Who can resist a shaman?
Cin: How is it that he can make “shaman” sound hot?
Christina: *purrs* I’m sorry, did you say something?
Klaus: HahahahaHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSS
Cin & Christina: *slowly backs out of the room*
Back in present day, Elijah says that whatever culture or continent they felt like planting the curse in, they did it. It was all a forgery.
Elena: But why?
Elijah: The easiest way to discover the existence of the doppelgänger and get to your hands on some long lost moonstone is to have every single member of two warring species on the lookout.
Elena: So it’s not Aztec at all.
Elijah: The curse of the sun and the moon is fake. Doesn’t exist.
He shrugs and walks off as Elena’s all “WHAT?!” Heh. Good one, show. You got us. *sigh and eye roll combo*
Back at la Casa de Gilbert, Kalaric is still going on and on about vampires. He says vampires are real. That was the last straw, apparently.
Jenna tells Kalaric to get out. She doesn’t know why he’s saying these preposterous things, but she doesn’t care. She orders him to get out. Stefan stands up to her defense.
Fed up, Jenna tries to leave, but Kalaric holds up the big butcher knife from before to keep her there. Man, TPTB really have affection for that Scream knife (in theaters now!).
Stefan’s all “fuck it” and vampspeeds to Kalaric, takes the knife and slams Kalaric against the wall, the knife to his throat.
He tells Jenna to get out of there now.
Kalaric is all “I may not have a witch protecting me today, but if you kill this body, what’s stopping me from choosing Jenna as my next one?” Stefan tells her to go again, but when she tries to protest,
her turns his crazy vamp eyes on her and shouts at her to go. ALRIGHT! You don’t have to tell her four times! Three apparently was sufficient. God, Jenna. There are just so many words I’d like to say to you, but this is
a family… good, upstanding citizens’… OUR blog, and we really don’t want to waste the time…
Stefan’s on the verge of digging the tip of the knife into Kalaric’s throat.
Kalaric: Kill me. Just remind Elena how easy it will be to get my revenge if she tries to stop me from breaking this curse.
Stefan punches him and vampspeeed kicks him a few times for good measure. Then he drops the knife and runs out of there. DUMB! Take the knife with you, duh! Obvs, Stefan doesn’t watch many (Williamson-penned) horror movies either. *groan* When will they learn?
Back at Lockwood Manor, Elijah and Elena are walking the grounds. He’s telling her that he and Klaus faked the Sun & the Moon curse for over 1000 years.
There IS a curse, but that’s not it. The real one is much worse, he says. It was placed on Klaus, and he’s been trying to break it for the past 1000 years, and Elena is his only hope. Elena tries to ask what this curse is, but they’re interrupted by her phone which is buzzing in Elijah’s breast pocket.
Elijah: Your phone will not stop its incessant buzzing. Answer it, please.
Oh, please, Elijah, like you’re not enjoying that.
He hands the phone to Elena. It’s Stefan. We can tell this is serious business because Elena makes her concerned face and, like she does EVERY time she’s on the phone,
puts her free hand up to her head as if it’s paining her. Because we KNOW it’s not to keep out the ambient noise because they’re in a fucking secluded garden. Anyway, Klaus went after Jenna.
Elena: I have to go to her.
Elijah: I’m afraid that wasn’t part of the day’s arrangement.
Elena: She’s my family, Elijah. I have to. I’ll be back. You have my word.
Elijah: It doesn’t mean anything to me until you live up to it.
Elena thanks him and runs off. Elijah looks after her and falls into a…
FLASHBACK! He’s having a playful game of tag with Katerina. Aww, so cute! She’s all “You’re meant to catch me!” And Elijah, so logical, so… loving?… is all “But if I catch you then the game will be ovah.” Teehee.
She thanks him for entertaining her, and he says he saw her inside and took pity on her.
And Oh My Gillies, did you see that flirtatious look just pass between them?!
Both trying to surpress their smiles. Totes flirty. And I’m getting giddy.
Getting serious, Katerina says Klaus promised to spend the day with her, but never came home the previous night. Elijah’s all “Klaus only knows one law, and it’s the law of the land!” Kidding. He said that Klaus only lives by his own rules. Katerina admits that he’s quite charming, and he’d be hard for anyone to resist. Elijah agrees.
Katerina: I don’t know why he calls on me. He seems to not care about me at all.
Elijah: Many a union have been built on much less.
Katerina: Is it wrong to want more?
Elijah moves to sit down next to her.
Elijah: Do you have more with Trevor?
Katerina: Trevor believes that he loves me, but true love is not real unless it is returned. Do you agree?
Elijah pauses for a minute. Oh, lawdy, he looks like he’s getting emotional.
Elijah: I do not believe in love, Katerina.
Katerina: That is too sad for me to accept, my lord. Life is too cruel. If we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?
Elijah smiles at her but OMG ARE THOSE TEARS?! OH, GOD, THE EEARS! THE EEARS! I CAN’T STAND THE EEARS!
Just then Klaus comes up to them. And he has blood all over his shirt because he is one CLASSY dude. Elijah, done feeling feelings for the moment, is all “He’s returned! Long night?”
Katerina is alarmed at the blood, but Klaus brushes it off saying some villagers picked a fight at a tavern. Yeah, a fight for their lives. And they lost. Pity. He escorts her away,
leaving Elijah looking on at her with… oh, god, emotion in his eyes.
Back in the present, Contemplative Elijah is contemplative.
Back at the SBH, Jenna is crying in the library when Elena comes in. Elena apologizes — she never meant for any of this to happen. Jenna starts going on this spiel about how her sister (Elena’s mom) used to tell her bed time stories about vampires, but she never believed they were real. This is all heartbreaking and such, but anyone else find this kind of awkward? Like, Jenna, really? The only contact you’ve had with vampire lore is when you were a child? That’s your only experience and thought on the undead? Pssh. I suppose it makes sense seeing as no one in this town seems to have ever even HEARD of a horror movie. But still. ANYWAY.
Elena confirms it’s all true; she should have told her. Elena gives Jenna her own spiel about how she was trying to protect her, but it blew up in her face. Jenna wants to know who else knows. She starts listing people and Elena turns into a bobble head. Elena, again, is all “we were just trying to protect you.”
Jenna: Elena, I am the one who’s supposed to be protecting you. And Jeremy.
Audience: WHAT?! You mean… she WAS aware of this?! Could have fooled us!
Jenna says she’s scared and starts crying, and AGAIN, Elena is the one to comfort her.
Stefan is standing outside the room all STEARy, because he has emotions too!
When she’s done comforting Jenna, Elena comes out of the room. Jenna is in shock. Elena says she tried to tell her as much as she could “but I barely scratched the surface.” Stefan apologizes, but it’s not his fault — it’s hers… for… I don’t know why. For Elena-logic reasons. Because she MADE vampires be real, and made them want her because she looks like someone who existed god knows how long ago. *rolls eyes* Whatevs.
She tries to leave to go back to Elijah (EEE!), but Stefan tries to stop her.
But she promised Elijah she’d return, and she can’t break that promise.
Because Stefan understands honor, he lets her go.
When Elena says she’s going back to Elijah, he vampzooms all up in her face. He starts laying down his threats that if she so much as tries to take a step out of the house– Andie interrupts to tell Damon to ease up, but he shushes her. Stefan tells him to let Elena go.
Damon: Are you kidding me? We just got her back!
Stefan: I SAID ‘let her go.’
Damon: That’s twice today you’ve stood in my way. I wouldn’t try a third.
Back in Alaric’s apartment, Katherine is all boozed up and dancing around. Suddenly she hears key jingling in the door.
As quick as… well, vampspeed, she’s calmly sitting on the couch when Klaus comes in. She forgot to put away the bourbon though, so… she’s obvs not totally innocent. She asks why he’s so grumpy and he complains about Alarics body again. She offers him a drink to loosen him up, and Klaus throws the bottle against the wall where it shatters because he is a grumpy bunny.
He grabs her and gets all compelly-eyed and says he wants her to sit down and shut up. Of course, we know that’s not going to work, but Katherine plays along.
Just then Maddox comes in with all of Klaus’ luggage. And WTF is this?! Greta?!
Greta: Hello, love! Nice body. You ready to get out of it?
Okay, wtf? This is Greta Martin! And she seems like she’s on Klaus’ side?! Crazy. Of course, she could be playing… There’s no time for debate now… because in rolls a big-ass trunk.
Oh lord. One of three things is going to happen here: 1) Klaus’ body is in it, 2) someone’s about to do magic tricks, or 3) they’re about to play dress up. I bet you they’re going to play dress up. Something tells me Klaus would really enoy that.
Back at Lockwood Manor, Elena walks in like she owns the place.
Elijah looks up at her with this… look.
Maybe like he’s been having flashbacks of Katerina the whole time. Because it’s definitely a look of… recognition (not just that it’s Elena), with a hint of longing and a sprig of happiness. Oh, and probably surprise and pleasure that she actually DID return.
He welcomes her back. However, his smile (*SWOON*) fades slightly when Elena gets right down to business. (Oh, so he wasn’t being totally business at that point? This is VERY interesting. Oh, god, shipping ideas. Invading. Brain.)
Elena: Tell me. What’s Klaus’ curse?
Elijah: While my family was quite close, Klaus and my father did not get on too well. When we became vampires, we discovered the truth. Klaus was not my father’s son. My mother had been unfaithful many years before. This was her darkest secret. Klaus was from a different bloodline. Of course, when my father discovered this, he hunted down and he killed my mother’s lover and his entire family, not realizing, of course, that he was igniting a war between species that rages until this day.
Elena: A war between species?
Elijah: Vampires. And werewolves.
Elena: So, Klaus’ real father was from a werewolf bloodline? What does that make Klaus? A Werewolf, or a vampire?
DUN DUN DUN!
Elijah tells her that the hybrid would be far deadlier than the vampire or werewolf alone.
Elijah: Because nature would not stand for such an imbalance of power, the witches saw to it that his wolf side would remain dormant.
Elena: THAT’S the curse that Klaus wants to break?
Elijah: Klaus wants to trigger that part of him that’s a werewolf. If allowed, Klaus would sire his own bloodline; he’d build his own race, endangering not just vampires, but everyone.
Elena: But you helped him.
Elijah: I helped him because I loved him. That’s changed now; he must die.
Aww, Elijah! You are SO not the emotionless killing-machine we all had you pegged for. I didn’t know it was possible, but I think I love you even more now. This episode should have been called “Elijah.” By the time this ep is over, I think my heart will have grown 3 sizes. Sorry, I digress…
Elena tries to brighten the mood by mentioning that they have the dagger — they can defeat him. Elijah say that won’t work. The dagger is silver, and when a werewolf is wounded by silver, it heals. And an original can’t be killed by anything but white oak ash on a silver dagger. “So you see the conundrum. The dagger does not work.” He does offer up one solution — Klaus would have to be killed “at the hands of the servants of nature themselves” — by a witch, who wields enough power. Huh. So Bonnie really IS the answer.
He starts to walk closer to her and him standing there, like less than three feet from her…
in that suit, and oh god, Cin, I think you need to take over the recap for me. I’m having Elijah-related palipations.
Elijah: The curse must be broken during the full moon, when Klaus is in transition. That’s when he will be at his most vulnerable. A witch with enough power CAN kill Klaus.
Elena: What if I told you I knew a witch who can channel that much power?
Elijah: Then I will tell you one more thing that you should know.
FLASHBACK again! Klaus is chillin’ by the fireplace in that room with the high-backed chair. Elijah comes in carrying a box.
Klaus: The full moon is tomorrow, brotha. After all these centuries, it is finally time.
Elijah: I have been to see the witches. I believe they may have found a way to spare the doppelgänger.
Klaus: What does it matter if she lives or not? She is a means to an end, that is all.
Elijah: What, she should die for your gain?
Klaus: She is human. Her life means nothing.
Elijah: I beg you to consider this.
Klaus: Are you so foolish as to care for her?
Elijah: Of course not.
Klaus: Love is a vampire’s greatest weakness, and we are not weak, Elijah. We do not feel, and we do not care.
Elijah: We did once.
Klaus: Too many lifetimes ago to matter. Tell the witches not to bother. The sacrifice will happen as planned.
Elijah looks like he’s going to argue, but says nothing.
In present day Elena is, I guess, verifying that she heard him correctly by making him repeat himself again. He found a way to save the life of the doppelgänger? Elijah’s all
“Yes, Elena. I did.” She contemplates this for a moment as he goes to retrieve her jacket from the table.
Elijah: Unfortunately, Katerina took matters into her own hands first. I believe you already know how that played out.
Elena: You cared about her, didn’t you?
Elijah: It’s a common mistake, I’m told. It’s one I won’t make again.
And there might as well be fucking lightning bolts shooting between their eyes. WTF is going on, eh? Is someone transferring long-lost love? Me thinks maybe. *sigh* *swoon* *recover and sigh again*
Speaking of people who feel feelings, we’re back at the SBH, and Damon is pouting in the library. Andie hands him a drink and tells him he doesn’t need to be so worried about everything. He’s fed up and tells her to go. Just then Stefan comes in.
Stefan: Tired of your plaything already?
Damon: Don’t even start with me, Stefan. She’s just my distraction.
Stefan: She’s a person.
Damon: You should be thankful she’s here. Keep me from going for what I really want.
Stefan: You’re right. Thank you. For being in love with my girlfriend.
Damon puts his drink down and stands up.
Damon: And there it is.
Stefan: There it is. You can be in love with Elena all you want. It means that you’ll protect her. But I have one thing that you never will.
Damon: Oh yeah? what’s that?
Stefan: Her respect.
OOOOHHHH SHIIITTTTTT. That’s it.
Damon punches Stefan good, sending him flying into a bookcase, sending books and wood crashing to the floor.
Then they’re each working on choking the other faster than you can say “Holy Doppelgänger, Batman!” Luckily, just then, Elena and Elijah come into the room.
Elena yells at them to stop, all “if we can’t live together, we’re gonna DIE alone.” At the sound of her voice, they immediately do. Uh-oh, Elijah’s going into another flashback.
Lionhead Klaus is walking briskly into the room where Elijah is reading.
Klaus: What have you done?
Elijah: I don’t understand.
Klaus: Katerina is gone. She has fled.
Klaus: What did you tell her?
Elijah: I told her nothing.
Klaus slams Elijah into the wall and gets all crazy vamp-eyed,
Put the fucking lotion in the basket! DO NOT LIE TO MEEEE.”
Elijah says he’ll find Katerina — Klaus has his word. Klaus has a counteroffer, though. If Elijah doesn’t find her, he has Klaus’ word that he will be dead.
Damn. He don’t mess around.
In the present, Damon’s all standoffish — “You invited him in now?!” Elena tells him that she and Elijah have renewed their deal. And just like that Elijah is all intimidating and businesslike again. God, I love that vamp. *chills*.
He tells the Salvatores that they will not come to harm at his hands, but he asks for one thing: an apology. The brothers look confused for a second, but because Stefan is smart and level-headed, he understand what needs to be done.
Stefan: I’m sorry for the part that I played in your death. I was protecting Elena. I will ALWAYS protect Elena.
Elijah: I understand.
Stefan turns to Damon all “your turn.”
Elena tells him that the sacrifice IS going to happen, and Bonnie will be able to kill Klaus without hurting herself, and Elijah knows how to save Elena’s life. “I told you I’d find another way.” All the while, Elijah is standing there like a stone! DAMN. Damon’s all “is that true?” and Elijah confirms, and Elena says she’s trusting him.
Damon: You can all go to hell.
And he leaves the room.
Stefan tries to explain that Damon is angry with him, but Damon’ll come around. Elijah, face placid and emotionless, is all “perhaps.”
Like a fucking boss. Sorry. But my heart is about to bust this magnifier.
Off in Damon’s room, Andie comes out of the bathroom in her lingerie.
Damon’s upset that she’s not gone, but he forgot to compel her, so she didn’t HAVE to leave.
Andie: I want to be here. So let me be here.
Damon vampspeeds to her, and grabs her neck.
He’s upset. And Andie
wouldn’t like him when he’s angry knows what happens when he’s upset. But Andie refuses to leave. Aww, could it be she really loves him? Shhh. Don’t say that shit to Damon! Too late.
Andie: You need to know that somebody cares about you. I care about you, Damon.
He bites into her neck savagely.
When he lets her go, she collapses to the ground crying. Some of that emotion must have gotten to that cold, dead heart of his, because he kneels beside her and tells her to leave before he kills her.
Sweet, really. She grabs her things and leaves. Damon is gasping for breath to try to control himself, and OMG THE DEARS!
There are just too many emotions this episode!!!
Back at Alaric’s bachelor pad, Maddox and Greta are chanting some witchy-juju in front of the giant trunk. There are candles, so you know they mean business. Suddenly, Alaric is himself again.
He sees Katherine, and is all “Elena?”
Maddox stands up and opens up the giant trunk (which I swear to god is like 3 times the size it was when they first brought it in) and KLAUS WALKS OUT!
Klaus: Now, that’s more like it.
Well, at least he doesn’t look like a lionhead anymore. Also, he has his accent back. I’m impressed that he was able to fake Alaric’s accent so long. Talk about a method actor. You’d think it’d have slipped during that fight with Stefan (or even with Bonnie in “The Last Dance”) at least. He is WICKED method.
Oh, also, OHHH SHIIITTTTT. o.O
(All screencaps courtesy of hotn-caps.com)