It’s my MFing (and no, that’s not for Mystic Falls) Birthday & so I’ve hijacked the pre-reaction post set up from Christina. Muhahahahaha. So with mutual consent from all parties I have dictated how this reaction post is going to play out. Basically FULL ON ELIJAH! Deal with it. (Christina: Who’s complaining? *swoons*) Sure we’ll touch on the few other goodies in the episode, but come on. I think we all really know what was important and fuckawesome in “Klaus” and he wasn’t some #putthelotioninthebasket psychopath. And he wasn’t one or both of our beloved Salvatore Brothers (which, to be fair, were pretty amazeballs themselves and during a normal episode I’m sure we could have talked for 5000 words about that, but…). Yeah. So this is how it’s gonna be.
Spoiled Birthday Bitch & HBIC of the Universe
Main Players: Cin and Christina (SBH owners); Collen and Mel (SBH contributors and friends) and Special Guest Reactor SB from OffColorTV.
Oh my Gillies, ELIJAH IS BACK!!!
Christina: “OMG” doesn’t even BEGIN to cover it! Like, there are no words to adequately express my PURE ELATION that Elijah is back! “EEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEE” kind of expresses it, but it’s SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT! I don’t think I’ve been so happy to see a character ever. Praise be! Like, I can’t… I can’t even. I need a moment. *tears of happiness*
Cin: It was a thing of beauty. In every possible way. Like, epicly beautiful. The calm voice. The side stares. The chin dimple. I’m in FULL SWOON. And seriously, you all don’t know me as well as Christina (who sees all my swoon) but this shit is like a special and rare kind of swoon that is usually reserved for much more inappropriate crushes. Elijah is in no way an inappropriate crush. Could I be evolving mentally as I age? *ponders*
Christina: Every crush I have in inappropriate… in my mind. Oh, the inappropriate things I would like to do to Elijah…. Seriously. Seriously. I don’t think I have ever swooned this hard of anyone. ANYONE. Not even Eric Fucking Northman (YEAH I SAID IT). And I’ve swooned pretty hard for him. Cin has seen my devolution into a rambling mess whenever Elijah is part of the discussion ever since episode 2.08! God, the neck-sniffing. OH GOD, the neck sniffing…. I think I need another moment…
Cin: I believe it. Because I was there at the inception of the Elijah swoon. Could he be your “THRALL”? I can totally live with and enable that. *sigh*
Christina: He totally is. Like… his face and stuff. Hair. Voice. Smirk. Sorry. Hold up. *drifts away* What were we talking about?Cin: I feel like we owe Miss. Elena Gilbert our respect, gratitude and utter appreciation. Our girl Elena hasn’t always made the smartest decisions this season and she hasn’t always been the easiest girl to love… BUT she not only redeemed herself last night, but I am in total awe of her right now. So hats off Miss Elena. You earned our respect and trust. *bows*
Mel: I totes agree about Elena! I was so proud of her and how she took everything into her own hands and stood up for what she wanted and then did good. It was actually quite shocking but I never doubted her. You go girl! Haha.
Christina: Yes, I was SO proud of Elena for sticking up for herself and what she wanted to do in front of Stefan and Damon. She’s smart. And finally she’s acting like it. You’re DAMN RIGHT Elijah is a NOBLE man, and you DO need him! WE ALL NEED HIM. *breathes*
Cin: YES WE DO! #Elijah4Mayor
Elijah is Perfection
Christina: *sigh*…. *SIGH*
Colleen: I want Elijah to tell me stories about everything! He’s a fantastic storyteller. I bet he’d blow my mind reading some Fox in Socks.
Cin: YES! He can just speak to us and make us feel better and smarter and turned on and.. wait, that got away from me for a minute. Um, yeah. Anyway, his voice is just *dies* and then the looks he gives and the chin dimple. I’m seriously not even halfway capable of coherent thought. Whoever reads this is being warned. We usually aren’t this stupid. But we’ve been ELIJAH’D up in here!
SB: Wow, just as I was getting ready to thank you all for breaking the “fuck” barrier, someone comes in and breaks the “blow” barrier. (Also, fuck you Klaus, you aren’t the only one who knows how to make an entrance.) Just kidding–I don’t think I’m as swoon-y over Elijah as everyone else, but I am madly in love with his facial expressions. This guy is so good, and he maybe does the best thoughtful face I’ve ever seen. And his chuckle and the idea that Katherine might be dead? Awesome.
Cin: The ‘fuck’ barrier is always broken up in The SBH! Enjoy! But yeah, Daniel Gillies almost reminds me of Nathan Fillion in that he’s just made of so much awesomesauce it’s almost embarrassing to everyone around him. His talent & charm are just staggering.
SB: That’s a good comparison, but in a totally different, darker way. Which I actually think is sexier. I maintain my position that I laid out on my blog that I think it’s made Klaus, who is actually probably the most built up character in the history of this show, even MORE difficult to pull off, because honestly … how do you top ELIJAH?
Cin: Darker is definitely sexier. And you can’t top Elijah. Sorry, nothing Joseph Morgan does as Klaus in the next 3 episodes can possibly come close to our worship of Elijah. At this point I don’t even see myself liking him very much. I mean, he’s crazy – not like S1 Damon crazy – but like straight out of the serial killer profile pages crazy. I like a crazy character as much as the next gal, but give me suave, debonair power any day of the week.
Christina: I think Klaus is WAY fucking scary. I know that’s the idea, but that laugh he did over the Aztec drawings and the Roman scroll seriously weirded me the fuck out. I honestly don’t think that he can do anything to usurp the part of my heart where Elijah lives (and will ALWAYS live). Elijah’’s crazy in a good way — and mostly crazy in an omg-I-can’t-believe-he-can-pull-that-shit-off type of way, as opposed to Klaus who is a HOLY-SHIT-RUN-FOR-YOUR-LIVES crazy. Elijah for the motherfucking win, y’all.
Mel: He is just so amazing. So amazing that it hurts. Just when you thought he couldn’t get better he surprises you *le sigh*
Christina: Maybe I’m just too excited to see him walking and talking and breathing again, but there were so many moments in the ep where I had to stop and catch MY breath. Like when Elena comes back to Lockwood Manor… the look in his eyes when he sees she’s back. Am I just imagining it, or is there something under Elijah’s surface? MMM! And in the flashback when he’s talking to Katerina about love, and he looks like he’s about to cry. JAYSUS! Color me melted.
Cin: Me too. And also, like how great was his hair? Like right from the jump. And for serious, Christina, we have GOT to get down there and pressure wash that dungeon. Just the very idea that our Elijah love was that filthy in OUR house. *shakes head* I’m ashamed.
Christina: Word. We can’t blame ourselves for that though. I mean, Damon and Alaric were the ones who put him down there. And yes, to the hair. I almost fell off my couch at his hair after he was all cleaned up at Lockwood Manor. Like, clean, bathed perfection.
Cin: Damon & Alaric *watching them* No, even though Elijah is alive again I haven’t forgiven. Not that I wish them harm, but let’s just say someone will be watering down the good fucking scotch!
Elijah & Klaus = Brotha-ly Hate?
Christina: Holy shizz. Elijah and Klaus are brothers?! I definitely didn’t see THAT coming!
Cin: I totes saw it coming. But it’s good to be right. Called it a LONG time ago *researching old reaction posts* *got bored* Anyway, even if I didn’t run it down I know for a fact this has been a theory of mine for like, ever. Like since 2.11 at least, when we got confirmation that Elijah definitely didn’t want to help Klaus, but take him out.
Christina: I remember you saying it. And I remember being skeptical. I stand corrected, haha.
Colleen: I most certainly did NOT see that coming. It makes sense, but still that thought never crossed my mind. I like the parallel storyline. Watching Elijah look at the Salvatores and seeing it mirror him w/ his bro really caught my attention.
Mel: HUGE WTF moment! Wow I honestly did not see that coming either! I’m still kind of in shock.
SB: Someone called it on my blog/twitter, and I thought it was a good theory. I wasn’t surprised, but I do like the twist and I’m excited that they went there. I’m a sucker for history repeating–it always makes for a good story.
Cin: The thing is, even if they weren’t actually biological brothers, it totally makes sense that in 1000+ years that the Originals would consider one another siblings. They fight, they have loyalty, etc. Also, the whole underlying past love triangle – that I think pre-dates Katarina and originated at the original Petrova (from which all doppelgangers were made). Notice the look on Elijah’s face the first time he saw Katarina/Katherine. That wasn’t just ‘OMG, someone found a Petrova doppleganger’ – that was some kinda of lost love-requiting thing. Like when Stefan and Damon first saw Elena. It had the same vibe for serious. And where Klaus always just viewed Katarina as a means to his own end, Elijah cared about her from the very beginning. I told you all he was the Stefan! Oh the parallels… They taste like sweet sweet candy!
Christina: Yes! The look on his face in the flashback about killed me. That was the same face he gives Elena when he first wakes up, and does the whole gasping for breath, “Oh my God” thing (that admittedly did things to my lady parts… and my heartstrings). Also, relates to the look he gave Elena when she came back to Lockwood Manor after dealing with Jenna. There’s more to this story, and this episode only made me want to know MORE and MORE about Elijah. The writers are peeling back the layers, and I’m fucking eat it all up. NEED MORE. I CRAVE IT.
SB: Maybe the show should seriously consider a spinoff that happens entirely in flashback. They’ll never be able to squeeze all of this and all of the present day story into one TV show, right? (Although at the pace they work, if anyone could pull it off, it’s TVD.)
Cin: That is a MARVELOUS idea! Can it be called “The Elijah Diaries”? Because imagine that delicious Original threw the ages… *sigh*
Christina: I’m pre-ordering my lifetime subscription to that shit.
Cin: Of course included in these will be the ‘Great Adventures of Elijah, Damon & Alaric: Three is NOT a Crowd’. Please someone! The fanfic WANTS to be written!!!
Elijah in Love
Christina: Damn. So Elijah was in love with Kathi. His reaction to Elena at the beginning makes much more sense now.
Colleen: This is what truly won me over to team Elijah. I am a sucker for an unrequited love story.
Christina: Mmhmm. But I’m thinking his love story is very much like Damon’s: He was in love with the first doppelganger he came across, and when he encounters another (Katherine in Elijah’s case), he sort of transfers his love onto the second one. It sort of makes it ever sadder.
Cin: No, I think Elijah was in love with the original Petrova. And Klaus came between them and thus was used in the original curse against Klaus by the witches. I am inclined to think that Katarina was the first doppelganger they came across. If they knew exactly where the bloodline was, wouldn’t they have tracked it. And they thought it ended with Katarina because they did not know she had a child. Also, why in the hell did Klaus kill her entire family? Isn’t that stupid if he wants to keep the Petrova line moving?
SB: I agree, I think Katerina was a doppelganger and it goes back further.
Christina: Yes, it does. I think Elijah even told Katerina that she reminds him of someone that he used to know. But, so okay, I have a theory about Elijah being in love here. It like …just HIT me while I was watching. I realized something that had been bothering me about episode 2.09 “Katerina.” In the recap, I pointed out how Elijah and gang (Trevah was there!) were chasing Katherine/Katerina through the forest. She was bleeding and he was all “I know you’re here! I can smell your blood.” And then he just WALKED BY the tree she was hiding behind. But this was obvs taking place AFTER the flashback of episode 2.19, so Katerina was running from Klaus who wanted to sacrifice her. BUT, since Elijah is IN LOVE with her, I’m speculating that he DID know she was hiding behind the tree. I mean, come on, it makes so much sense! “But if he wanted to save her, why would Elijah kill Trevah who helped her escape?” you may ask. Well, I’m glad you asked me that. He compelled Trevah to help her escape. He compelled him to take the blame so that he would look innocent in the matter in Klaus’ eyes (especially since Klaus’ little blow up about how it’s not smart to love — it being a common mistake and all). Of course, he hadn’t wanted Katerina to turn herself, and motives change over time. Plus, who is Trevah to him now? So he killed him in present day.
Cin: I love this theory. And I totes didn’t even think about the blood sniffing and all. I definitely think Elijah had feelings for Katerina – but she was a very different person back then. I’d go so far as to call her charming – plus they were flirty-flirty like whoa. Anyway, while I do like your thoughts, I still don’t think she was the original love. I think this is him being Stefan again. He falls for the doppelganger for reals. Also, how much interaction have Elijah and Katherine had in the present? Next to none. He compelled her to ‘stay put’ in the tomb. That was all. We have no idea what plans he had for her after that. He might have been planning on going to release her after the dealt with Klaus. So much to think about!
Christina: No, I’m not saying he loved Katerina the way that Stefan loves Elena. He loved her the way Damon loves Elena — there’s not a clear reason! He was in love with the original one long ago, and this is a transference of that original love. But then when she turned herself, and became vicious, he saw that and turned himself off — like Stefan did to Katherine. Either way, Elijah saved Katerina because he wanted to; he wanted to save her from Klaus.
Cin: I still think he’s more the Stefan in the situation. Given that Stefan met Elena by saving her life BECAUSE she looked like Kathi… No telling what could have developed in Elijah’s mind had Katerina been saved. I think she broke threw his armor of duty.
Christina: Actually you make a lot of sense, and this is how I was feeling last night. But then I started thinking more, and reversed. This is why I shouldn’t be allowed to think 😛
Cin: Shut up. I like it when you think. It makes me think. :-p
Colleen: I like this theory. Knowing what I know now,I can buy this. Of course he knew she was there, but he couldn’t let his love be killed. Damn it Elijah! This is how you make me love you!
Christina: I’m just astounded by the layers each episode unveils! I am in TOTAL awe of the writers here. Also, Elijah — this is how you make me love you EVEN MORE! *swoon* Seriously, I want to just take him to bed with me and comfort him. Vigorously. And repeatedly.
Mel: I really like this theory. I think this could possibly be true. More than possibly. Especially after last nights episode. I love Elijah in love. Another reason to love him even more.
Klaus is a WEREPIRE! HAHAHAHA
Colleen: A werepire? A werepire!!! Are you kidding me? You’re kidding me. I can see that he got the douchecanoe gene from were side. He’s kind of a dick.
Cin: Werepire. We are totally trademarking that shit. It’s *sing-song* BRILLIANT!
Christina: Hahaha! That’s pretty much what I said to Cin last night — I asked her where our “Douchecanoe” VDBingo square went. I def see now how Klaus is cray and Elijah seems relatively normal. I mean, it explains so much.
Mel: While Elijah was telling the story to Elena, I got this feeling that he was going to say Klaus was a werepire. I don’t know why but it happened. Doesn’t change the fact that I was still saying “WHAT?!” When he said so.
Colleen: Am I the only one who’s kind of “ meh” when came to the real Klaus? Badass Alaric possession aside, I’m underwhelmed thus far.
SB: You’re definitely not alone on that. As I said in my blog, they’ve kind of set themselves up for failure. Elijah was SO major that he’d be hard to follow on his own, and then Klauslaric was pretty great as well. On top of talking him up so much, they gave him a lot of great acts to follow. But I am trying to reserve judgment until he actually DOES something. So far, it’s all been exposition.
Cin: I’m just now reading your blog post, and I totally agree. It’s hard to reserve too much judgement when the first time we met Elijah and he waltzed in with us not having a clue about what an Original was or even who he was and he just wowed the entire fandom. Like. A. Pimp. Look at what we know about Klaus: Halfling. Lunatic. Selfish. Egotistical… Honestly the only redeeming thing I see in him on paper is the fact that Elijah once loved him.
Christina: Word. I’m, as of yet, unimpressed. I mean Kalaric was kind of awesome, but with all these additional traits we got on Klaus, I’m wary. Kalaric was creepy in a good way. This Real Klaus dude just makes me feel like I need to #putthelotioninthebasket.
Cin: He was totes wants us to #putthelotioninthebasket!!! Just fucking deranged as all hell. Like being regular deranged wasn’t enough. He even laughs like a maniac. That scene where they are going over the Roman scroll? Psy-CHO! Also, he looks like a lion. Is that because of the dog in him? I mean, I know lions are cats – but still.
Christina: He really just gives me the creeps. Like… everything about him. In the part where he was first introduced to Katherina in the flashback — when he was all “Call me Klaus,” in my mind all I heard was “Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.”
SB: Creepiness aside, the answer to that question is “YES.” (Duh, he’s British.)
Christina: Haha, but Britishness aside, what word did Katherine use to describe the doppelganger to him last week? Precious? Y’all know that’s Buffalo Bill’s dog’s name, right? The parallels, I’m telling you! *creeped out*
Cin: ROFLMAO! Yes, Precious. The doppleganger is THE PRECIOUS. Oh crap, I have wayyyyy too many pop culture things rolling threw my mind right now. It’s not healthy!
Christina: Oh, god, Buffalo Gollum. *gulp*
Mel: Klaus is may be a dick, psycho and looks like a lion (which BTW is fucking hilarious!) When he walked out of the box at the end of the episode and he was just looking at everyone and smirked. I couldn’t help but think “this guy is kind of cute. Even though he looks like a lion.” Lions are cute though. True story lol.
Cin: Well, you bitches would really think “looks like a lion” was funny if you’d all get off your asses and watch Firefly. *spits on you all*
Colleen: *spoiler alert* I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE ALARIC IN THE PREVIEWS FOR NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you, Matt Davis. No, really…I love you. You should call me. We should go out. By out, I mean my bedroom. Wear the leather jacket and bring the accent 😉
Mel: SO HAPPY ALARIC IS BACK TOO! Yays!!! I will miss Kalaric though. Oh wells at least now I don’t have to stab a bitch.
SB: I’m happy too, and I’m glad he pulled through, but I’m still sorta pissed at the promo people for ruining the surprise. I mean, REALLY?
Cin: Word. Plus we saw a episode stills from 2.20 of him & Damon boozing it up at their regular barstools in the Grille weeks ago. I’m surprised as hell that TPTB let the CW release that. If we feared for Alaric’s life while being possessed I think it would have added a whole other dimension to the Kalaric situation. But as it was, I was never worried so I just wrote it off mentally. What’s even worse is that this show has us so spoiled to theatrical surprises that we now get pissy when we see an obvious one and it passes us by. Stop making us smarter show! lol
Blah Blah Blah.. Jenna Knows…
Colleen: And who the fuck cares?! Why did she even call to check on the kids? Was she done with her thesis? I could really give rats ass anymore. I’m putting her on my “I hope she dies list”. The very top of it.
Christina: She’s kind of been on my “I’m just waiting until she dies” list. Like, I don’t wish for it nor do I loathe the idea. I’m just waiting for it to happen. I’ll probably laugh because, really, what purpose does she serve anymore?
Cin: *yawn* Also, way to be a fucking adult Jenna. As usual. I mean, the whining. The tears. She is such an infant. They didn’t tell you because you are a 14 yr old drama queen!
Colleen: She serves no purpose other than hopefully being a future bloodbag for some random vamp. I don’t care which one.
SB: But then who will open all the doors?
Cin: ROFL! True facts are TRUE! But in all seriousness, I totally love the original reveal scenes. Seeing Kalaric messing with her & Stefan and then her ordering her out. AND then Stefan kicking his ass and showing Jenna his crazy vamp eyes. It was all pretty much golden. But then they cut to Little Miss Breakdown at the SBH and I was like over it. I thought Elena handled the situation as well as she could, but Jenna just wasn’t cut out for this kind of info. At all.
Christina: Also, had she not broken down, Elena wouldn’t have had to leave Elijah, and if she hadn’t had to leave the brothers wouldn’t have started to fight over her because Stefan “let” her go after they “had” her back. Jenna is just a catalyst.
Cin: PLOT DEVICE! Talk about the gun on the wall…
RAH! SALVATORES MAD!
Christina: The fact that we now know that Elijah and Klaus are brothers really brings the Salvatores back to the forefront. The Salvatores and the irreconcilable differences that we know are still there. And top that all off with the FIGHT they started to have. Holy shit. My heart was kind of pounding. I wonder… if Elena and Elijah hadn’t shown up at that moment, I wonder what kind of harm they really could have done. Damon almost killed Andie. He stopped when he realized she was crying, but I wonder if he would have really harmed Stefan…
Cin: Even though Damon was the first to break furniture (seriously D man *WATCHING*) if it would have continued I bet you Stefan would have given as good as he got and then some. Mr. Bunny Blood can kick some major ass, as we’ve seen on more than one occasion. And he is sick and tired of Damon’s shit. I actually don’t see this as the last confrontation between the two – not by a long shot.
Colleen: Bro’s before Ho’s!!!! Sheesh, boys.(you too, Elijah & Klaus!) I don’t think Damon would seriously injure Stefan. However, love is a powerful thing. Anything is possible.
Christina: I’m wondering if he would do it unintentionally. Damon really strikes me as the kind of guy who would commit a crime of passion before realizing. HE JUST HAS SO MANY EMOTIONS.
SB: He feels AAAAALLLLLL the feelings!
Colleen: The Damon tears!!! *sigh* They break my heart everytime. EVERYTIME. I think he is very very torn. He loves Elena. Not a secret. But she is still his brother’s girl. I really believe it’s breaking his non beating heart.
Cin: But this also goes back to why exactly DOES he ‘loooooooveee’ Elena? Is it because Stefan has her? Is it because she looks like Katherine? Is it because she was nice to him and made him feel feelings? I think Damon is way too tortured. He picked Elena to have feelings for and fell so hard almost because she is unattainable. It allows him to keep his distance from humanity at least a bit that way. And also, why would Elena ever fall in love with Damon? Stefan is not just the perfect boyfriend, he would be the perfect mate or spouse. First and foremost she can TRUST Stefan. He’s not a loose cannon and he actually thinks before doing things. He cares about her feelings. He listens to her. He’s funny, smart — I’m sorry folks… I love Damon for Damon. But who would I rather spend long cold nights with? Stefan. Any day. **is glad Cat is still out of the country**
Christina: That little scene when Elena is trying to get back to Elijah and Damon almost fights her. That scene broke my heart in multiple ways. The pain in Damon’s eyes. He’s honestly starting to piss me off lately because he’s very one-track-minded, and doesn’t really see what they can accomplish. He sees only the need to save Elena. But in that moment, all his hurt came through the TV and hit me right in my icy cockles.
Cin: I totally agree. Commenters will pitch a fit, but Damon has been slowing getting on my bad side these last few episodes too. This one probably pushed the hardest though and I see it only getting worse as the season wraps up. (Also, ‘icy cockles’? ROFL! *hugs Christina*)
Mel: As much as I love them when they don’t fight and are playing nice. I just can’t shake the fact how sexy they’re when they aren’t playing nice. SO HOT! Now if only they could fight without shirts on…….. Okay I’m good now.
Christina: Hah! Yeah, when they were fighting, I had similar thoughts. Like, even when Stefan was fighting Kalaric and turned to Jenna all “LEAVE NOW!” or whatever with his crazy vamp eyes… Ahem…
Mel: I can’t believe I forgot about that!! Oh man Stefan was way hot when he pinned Kalaric to the wall. I just wish we could get more angry Stefan. Not that I don’t love me some nice and loving KitKat but some more angry Stefan thrown in there wouldn’t be so bad.
Cin: Oh hells yes. This episode was definitely a stew of Salvatore sexiness. I love when they get all pissy and aggressive – I’d just prefer it be aimed at other people.