I thought we would be okay today. But even wounds inflicted by the soft glowing light of the television cannot be healed that quickly. We are dying, y’all. As you know, Elena killed Elijah, and we are STILL reeling. It has really affected us more than we thought it would. Just earlier in the week, Cin and I were discussing the possible demise of our favorite BAMFy Original. We concluded that nah, they wouldn’t kill him. We thought he was too vital, too important to the Klaus story arc. Clearly, we were too comfortable with this idea. We are SHREDDED. This episode should have been called “The Donner Party,” because I feel like my heart has been EATEN straight out of my chest. I mean, some cool stuff happened too. We learned some dirty laundry about the Founding Families (which is hilarious), and got to see how Stefan and Lexi became BFFs. But the pain. It burns us.
Main Players: Cin and Christina (SBH owners); Cat and Mel (SBH contributors and friends).
Christina: *cries* *cries FOREVER* I can’t… I can’t… I can’t… *sniff*
Mel: My heart still hurts. It hurts so bad. I still don’t understand why this has happen! *sobs*
Cin: I’m still in shock. Denial & shock.
Christina: I’m not entirely convinced he’s all-the-way dead. HE CAN’T BE, YOU HEAR ME?! But, really, I just have this feeling. Like… like… like… he’s just going to walk in our front door any minute now! *runs and cries*
Cin: I still have that feeling too. But honestly, I still just can’t believe they did it.
Cat: They made him especially delightful this episode too. Just to make it that much worse.
Christina: I agree. That joking around with Alaric (though Ric didn’t appreciate). “I rarely pursue younger women… except Christina.” Was I the only one who heard that?
Cin: “Mssss. Staaaar” *wibbles* And yes Christina, you’re selective hearing is acting up again. I understand. I happens to me too. I mean it when I say I’m in denial though. Like, I was so angry last night but now I’m just kinda numb. It’s kinda taken the wind out of my sails. It’s been a while since my mind has been thoroughly fucked on this scale. It sucks.
Christina: Okay, but seriously. Maybe it’s the denial talking, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Elijah ISN’T dead. That was easy. Almost too easy. Even though it took them two tries. I’m not 100% sold. Upset? Yes. Distraught? Absolutely. He… he can’t.
Cat: Listen, all you have to do is pull that stake out. He’s in the Salvatore’s basement for cripes sake. Does Daddy Warlocks need him dead or alive? The other originals? How long before Katherine needs him? If he’s still dead at the end of this storyline, I will send you a dollar.
Christina: I agree with you. He’s needed. And like I said, it was too early. We thought Elijah was dead before and he came back. They need him to oppose Big Bad Klaus and Katherine. Plus they said that the dagger had to stay in to keep him dead. Well what if it just keeps him like dead? If they take the dagger out, maybe he can live again.
Cat: They aren’t stupid (The writers) If Elijah was dead, he’d be ash. No removable stake. You don’t throw that smirk & hair away.
Christina: Haha. No you don’t! However, have we seen any other vamp turn to dust? Did they say that old vamps turn to dust? I can’t remember. I don’t think they do in this canon.
Cat: You know what I mean though – they actually die. Go away. Buh bye. Either way, I bet you dollars to doughnuts we get more Elijah. He’ll pop up at some crazy moment.
Christina: Yeah, but Rose was a body. Anna was a body. Granted Elijah is older, but still no precedent on the turning to ash. So… just by that, I say not-fully-dead. Okay, I’m calmed down now a bit. GOD HELP EVERYONE IF HE’S REALLY DEAD THOUGH! All I’m sayin’. What if I’m wrong?
Cat: Don’t worry, I’ll storm the set with torches right along with you.
Cin: Them giving us the information of “he’s dead as long as the knife stays in place” (which admittedly, I didn’t even hear on my first viewing, thus adding to my hysteria) is very ominous. Kathi could pull it. DW could pull it. Lord knows if Christina & I find where Damon hid that motherfuckin dungeon key, WE’LL pull it. It’ll gonna get pulled. IT HAS TOO.
Christina: Oh! And, Alaric. Don’t think we didn’t notice you stabbed one of our chairs! *eyes you* Shit list, mister. Shit list.
Mel: I agree. I think somehow he’s just going to reappear. Daddy Warlocks is going to find him and remove the knife and all will be right in the world because Elijah is back! This just needs to happen. IT JUST HAS TO!
Christina: If Daddy Warlocks can take away Bonnie’s powers, maybe he can give Elijah back his life… I take back every nasty thing I’ve ever said about DW. Okay, not EVERY nasty thing. But, you know.
I Spell “Trouble” K-A-T-H-I
Christina: So, she lied to Damon too, and now she’s out of the tomb. I smell trouble. There was just something so ominous about her being in Damon’s awesome shower. The evil look in her eyes, the naked leg that’s supposed to be temptation. I don’t trust her at all. Especially now with Elijah dead. She… she’s gunning for Klaus’ power. I just know it.
Cin: I never trusted Kathi. Never. She’s a snake and they should have put a stake in HER when they had a chance. I understand she’s fun and Nina does a remarkable job playing her – but she’s the fucking devil. Although, if she DOES pull that stake out of Elijah she just might move WAY up my list of characters. I don’t give a shit what her true motives are.
Mel: I don’t trust her either. Not one bit.
Cat: I cheered. CHEERED when he walked in that bathroom. KATHI IS BACK! WOO HOOO! Now I can enjoy Nina Dobrev again! This show is just more fun with Tramp Vamp around. She’s not worth trusting but she’s totally worth watching.
Christina: WORD. I love seeing Nina Dobrev work both characters in the same scene. Shit’s more intense, and that’s always a good thing. Kathi must go down. It KILLS me that she’s such a troublemaker.
Cat: Not before some Damon/Kathi sex. Really, I was all broken up about Elijah and then it was like “Kathi’s back!” Turned my whole mood around.
Mel: I was actually kind of excited to see her out of the tomb. It just means the show is going to get so much more better because who knows what she’s got up her sleeve. All hell is probably going to break loose.
Christina: It probably will. As much excitement as Kathi brings to the show, it wasn’t enough to pull me out of my Elijah funk. Like, really. Daniel Gillies, you are amazing. I have NEVER cared this much for a “bad guy” ever. Wrecked.
Cin: Ditto, sister. Ditto *sniff*
Mel: Bonnie losing her powers was nuts! I knew he was taking away her powers. I just knew it! But it didn’t shock me any less. I’m pretty sure she’ll find a way to get her powers back or maybe Daddy Warlocks will somehow give them back to her. I bet by the end of the season her witchy mojo will be back.
Christina: As soon as he started mumbling his black magic juju at her, I texted Cin, saying, “Is he going to take her witchy-juju from her now?!” And like 5 seconds later. Yup. Haha. Don’t worry; she’ll get ‘em back. We may have a pity party in her honor next week, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about long-term. Not that I worry about anything concerning Bonnie long-term, but whatever, haha.
Cin: She’ll get them back. It’s a plot device.
Mel: LOL I don’t worry either. But it would kind of suck if she didn’t get them back.
Christina: Yeah, it’d suck. But think of it like erectile dysfunction. Nothing that can’t be fixed with a little… help ;P
Mel: Hahaha! Word.
Cin: What I find terribly intersting is that based on the info that Elijah gave us about the all mighty founding families not actually being the founding families… That they came from “Salem” and were burned in MF as witches… Does that mean BONNIE’S family is the real founding family? OMFG! Is she the next Miss Mystic Falls? *faints*
Christina: Yeah, that was awesome. The Founding Families didn’t actually found anything?? LOLZ all around! That makes all those Founders’ Functions some SERIOUS overcompensation. Oh, families. Hilarious.
Cat: Can we lay off the damn Salem witches? Goody fucking Glover did not flee to North Carolina.
Cin: Agreed. It’s totally dumb.
Cin: So it’s a big production about how terrible Stefan was when he was a newbie vamp. *yawn* Figured that out way back in “Blood Brothers”. What I really think they DID accomplish here was letting Elena really see that what she had heard or only got hints at back in that episode were true. Plus it added the entire Lexi dynamic of tension back into our recently very cooperative Salvatore brothers. I really did enjoy all of that part of the episode, both the cabin conversations and the flashbacks. Good info to have… but just like with everything this year, Stefan & Elena drama is moved to the back burner in favor of more dynamic plots & characters. Such a shame.
Christina: It is a shame. Not that I want them to start writing in their journals again or anything, but they were poised to be the main characters. I like Damon getting attention, and I love how much of Elijah we got to see (*cries again*), but I want to see Stefan and Elena again. I loved that they brought Lexi back in. The development of that friendship, which turns Stefan into the vamp he is today… that’s important. The other thing that I found to be great about his story line was that it actually ALSO added characterization to Damon. Damon left because he couldn’t stand being around his brother, who was basically a wild child. So he goes off, and he loses control. He has no one to take care of, and no one to take care of him. Between this ep and “162 Candles,” I see now why he acted the way he did around Lexi. He resented her and the relationship she had with HIS brother. See, this is why protecting Elena is so crucial. Damon NEEDS to be the bigger man.
Cin: I know! And he didn’t listen to Lexi. He needed a Lexi, cause she totes told him that the hate would eat at him. And it did. Oh lord. Don’t you start on that bigger man shit too. LOL
Christina: Ha! No, no. You didn’t let me finish😉 Wait now I’ve gone and lost my train of thought…
Cin: It’s the mourning. The pain. We’ve gone stupid.
Christina: Word. Oh, I was saying — Damon feels like he needs to be the better man, deep down… not the “better” man, but like he needs responsibility. BUT he doesn’t want it at the same time. I don’t think Damon trusts himself. He couldn’t take care of Katherine, he couldn’t take care of his brother, he can only really take care of himself by being such a rough-around-the-edges badass (which is awesome). Damon’s just a really complex dude. And I’m probably totally reading into this whole thing incorrectly. But, you know. The mourning. It hurts my soul and makes my mind fuzzy. *sigh*
Cin: We need a drink, or seven. Each.
Christina: Word. *wipes eyes*
Uncle-Daddy Creepy = Bad News
Christina: Deliberately telling Damon misinformation so that he’d kill himself when he was trying to stab you-know-who with the dagger? Dumb. UC, are so going down.
Cin: They should have murdered his no good ass tonight. He was not on Elena’s list of friends & family – therefore what is his purpose? Zip.
Mel: Oh I hope they kill him now… But no! I forgot Ric gave him the damn ring! UGH! Maybe Kathi will cut off his fingers again and then Damon can swoop in there and kill him and he will kill him dead!
Christina: Oh, yeah, the ring. Why would Ric give it to him? He was mad at the time, I guess. Upset. But breaking up with Jenna is HARDLY reason to give up on life, ya know?
Cin: It was a night for Alaric to be totally flipping around for me. I loved him one minute and was piss as hell at him the next. Back & forth. Ugh. Giving that douchenozzle that ring was the stupidest thing he’s ever done. I think the bromance is going to Ric & Damon’s brains. Not the sharpest knives these past few weeks.
Christina: Seriously. So pissed at him. I’m not going to let him forget about our chair. Or the reason for it. I love you, Alaric. I really do. But you done fucked up, my friend.
Cin: Damn straight.
Mel: She is definitely not a reason to give up on life. Come on Ric! You’re way smarter than that!
Cin: Right?!? Idiot. Who the fuck cares about boozy floozy Aunt Jenna? Nobody.
Christina: No one in our house, anyway. Psshh.