Episode 213 “Daddy Issues”

213 “Daddy Issues”

Previously on The Vampire Diaires: Stefan calls Isobel then goes to pay her a visit to see if she can help with the Klaus sitch. At the MFHS Booster Club Fundraiser, Matty lays the mother of all kisses on Caroline, but then she runs away because like Sire Damon, her feelings are not exactly at the top of her to-do list. Later, Caroline tells Matty she loves him, but then she runs away – AGAIN! Even later, Tyler ambushes Caroline on her porch and kisses her, but we don’t talk about that. At the SBH, Rose is still dying of the wolfbite, and Damon is trying to hide feeling his feelings about it. When Damon’s gone, Rose starts to have hallucinations and attacks Elena, who takes a starring role in her own personal horror movie. Rose escapes and kills a bunch of people. Damon brings her home and allows himself to feel some feelings as he and Rose share a hallucination before she declares she is not afraid of death, and he lets her go… with a stake in the heart. Things spiral downward quickly when Damon accosts a female motorist, compels her and confesses his existential crisis to her before killing her. And the DEARS! Oh, God, the DEARS! Oh, and UC shows up at the end. What?! I KNOW!

Caroline is leaving her house, and Tyler is being super creepy just standing out there on her the sidewalk in front of her house.

She asks him what he’s doing out there. Tyler’s all “we need to talk,” and Caroline thinks he means the-event-which-shall-not-be-named. She tries to let him down easy. Matt is still in the picture for her. “We can’t go there,” she says.

Take THAT, Mutt!

Tyler says that’s fine. But that’s not why he’s waiting outside her house in full-on creepy stalker mode. “What happened to my uncle Mason?”

Caroline’s a bit taken aback. “He’s dead and I want you to tell me what happened.” He says he knows that Stefan and Damon are vampires too, and Caroline asks him who told him before quickly adding that she can explain.

Tyler: Did you know he was dead the whole time?

Caroline nods and TeenWolf freaking shoves her and slams her into the car.

ARGH! TYLER MAD! TYLER RAGE! TYLER EYES CHANGE!

Caroline tries to apologize, but he just growls that he trusted her. He shakes his head to clear it, and stalks off while she’s left there kind of shaking.

Oh, Car!! Tyler, you’re on our list to go all Thunderdome on.


TITLE CARD!

Over at the SBH, it’s shower time,

and HELLOOO, Damon.

Also hello, nicely-toned torso. Let’s get acquainted. Also, GTFO, glare in the glass!

WTF, man? Obscuring my view and shit! Anyway, Damon is looking a little sad and listening to the newscast from the TV in the other room. The reporter is talking about the “assailant” from the fundraiser last night and how there may have been drugs involved. Because drugs are always involved. Natch. The police are apparently seeing if there’s any connection to the missing campers and park ranger (ah, so he wasn’t another Deputy Redshirt).

Meanwhile, Damon walks out of the shower and wraps a towel around his waist (I have never hated cotton more). Also, he totes left the water on. Hey, Damon! We have to pay for that! Sheesh! He goes out to see the newscast on his wall-mounted 60″ TV. Huh. I guess everything is bigger in Damon’s room. Is anyone else warm? I’m warm. Where was I? Right. Newscast!

The reporter starts talking about the young woman, 25, Jessica Koenig, missing since this morning. The picture they flash on the screen is Jessica the Existential Crisis!

Damon looks slightly annoyed, repentant and scared in the course of two seconds before going back into his bathroom. The news chick continues, saying something about the Mayor’s press conference.

We see Carol Lockwood on the screen. There is going to be a memorial for all the dead from the past day for the town to mourn, deal, and move on/heal. Just like that. The news story is concluded on a TV in the Gilbert kitchen.

UC is in there making breakfast or being douchey or something when Elena comes in.

UC: Morning.

Elena: What are you doing here?
UC: Coffee?
Elena: We’re not doing that. We did that last night. No more avoiding. Why are you here?
UC: I’m here to protect you. That’s all I can say for the moment.
Elena: What do you mean that’s all you can say?
UC: I’ll tell you more when I’m convinced I can trust you.

Then Jenna and Alaric come rushing into the room. They’re running late because Jenna’s addicted to the snooze button and also Alaric’s delicious manflesh.

She is clearly confused to see UC there. “It’s okay I’m confused, right? ‘Cause we were not expecting you, like, ever.” Heh. UC explains that he got in last night; Elena let him in. He explains that he came back and he’s going to stay for a while. Jenna says that he can’t stay, but UC is all “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN’T DO!” Jenna explains that she can – as the legal guardian, she can very well get a say in who stays in la Casa de Gilbert. UC is all “Oh, yeah,” and then drops the bomb.

UC: I’m Elena’s biological father. There. Now you know.

Jenna gives Elena a great face and demands to know “WHAT?!?” You can practically hear the extra question mark in there, she’s so confused.

Wait, hold the phone. Did everyone forget about baby brother Jeremy? As legal guardian of the boy, who lives in the house, can’t Jenna kick UC out for that? (Cin: Shh, it’s in the script.)

Anyway, back at the SBH, Damon is fussing at Stefan for bringing UC back to town. Stefan explains that he went to find Isobel, but found UC instead. Figured he might know something about their situation, and they’re desperate. Beggars can’t be choosers, Damon.

Damon: We’re not that desperate, Stefan. The guy tried to barbeque me.

(An actual BBQ. That’s an MF first.)

Stefan: Damon, Bonnie’s new witch friend is working with Elijah, so we can assume the moonstone was never destroyed. Elena is putting all of her faith into some deal that she made with Elijah to keep everyone safe. I mean, do you trust Elijah?
Christina: With my lady parts, yes. Oh, you were talking to Damon…
Stefan: I don’t trust him. He’s an original. He can’t be trusted. It’s not like we can just go up and kill him because apparently he can’t die!
Damon: Still waiting for the part where John Gilbert is the answer.

Stefan says that UC knew about the sacrifice. Isobel told him. He says UC knows of a way to keep Elena safe. Damon considers this, and accepts it. He asks how they found out, but Stefan doesn’t know. It’s not like UC would exactly go and confide in him.

Damon’s all “great, it’s not like I have enough problems as it is.” Stefan softens a bit and says he’s sorry about Rose. Damon brushes him off – he knew her for “five minutes.”

Stefan points out that he obvious cared about her after those five minutes. “I wonder what that means?” he says.

Damon: It means I care, Stefan. It means I’m changing and evolving into a man capable of greatness. You better watch your back. I may just have to go get a hero hairdo of my own and steal your thunder.

He leaves just as Stefan’s phone rings with a text from Caroline: “911 NOW.”

Over at Lockwood Manor, Jules is there, and Tyler lets her in discreetly.

Across town at the Forbes’ residence, Caroline is telling Stefan that Tyler knows about him and Damon. And that Damon killed UM. And she swears she didn’t spill any of it. It’s okay; Stefan knows it was Jules. But Caroline is stuck on Tyler – he was so upset. “The look on his face; he was so betrayed.”

She asks if Damon is going to kill Tyler. Stefan says that Damon already wants to kill him – he thinks all werewolves should die. (Cin & Christing: WORD!). “He’s not wrong to think that. What if Tyler tries to retaliate? He has every right to. He could get himself killed,” Stefan explains.

Caroline says they’re not going to let that happen. They need to get to Tyler, reason with him (haha okay, good luck) before he does anything stupid.

She says that Stefan has to talk to him, to offer him peace and cookies. She and Tyler are friends; that has to count for something, right? Oh, sure, Car. Sure.

Back at Lockwood Manor, Jules is telling Tyler that she was right.

Caroline was lying. Tyler isn’t amused (is he ever?). “What do you want?” She wants to be his friend. He needs to leave Mystic Falls; it’s not safe here. Tyler balks; he doesn’t even know her. Besides his life is here.

Jules says his old life is here. His new life is just beginning and blah blah blah I think I’m going to die from boredom. And whatever, something about the curse, and being a lycanthrope, and learning the code of loyalty, and boo, snore.

Over at la Casa de Gilbert Elena is still sporting a ponytail. Is this her hero hairdo? (Cin: It’s her brat hairdo. She’s doing a lot of huffing around. *nods*).

Anyway, Damon wants to know where UC is. Elena doesn’t know. After he announced his paternity, he left. It was all very Maury. Damon is surprised UC let the info out.

Damon: That’s common knowledge now?

Elena: Apparently.

Hearing her despondent tone, Damon turns around, concerned, and walks back over to her.

Damon: You okay?

Elena: Yeah. Jeanna’s head’s spinning, but I’m okay.

She recovers and Damon asks if she knows why UC is there. She doesn’t, and scoffs at the thought that Stefan legit thinks that UC’s there to help her.

“You believe him?” Damon asks, referring to UC. Elena doesn’t. “No, I don’t believe him for a second.” Damon agrees that he doesn’t either. So what should they do? Damon suggests they kill him. I second this, but Damon assures Elena he’s joking. Damn. Okay, he’s a little serious, but he’s a good guy now (well, he’s trying, at least) – he’ll do the civil conversation thing.

They both head out to find UC.

Back at the Lockwood Manor (*SIGH*), Ty’s in his dad’s office, and suddenly Stefan’s there.

BOOYAH! He tells Tyler that they need to talk,

and pins him to a wall as Carol walks by. YES.

Out in the woods, Jules knocks on the door of a nasty Winnebago. She’s looking for another werewolf named BraDIE. He’s already outside waiting for her. She warns him that they have to be careful. They have to be positive that these (Stefan and Damon) are “THE” vamps.

He says he’s positive, and she says she wants “the boy” more than vengeance. BraDIE suggests they get both. Oh, werewolves. *groan*

Back at Lockwood Manor, Tyler wants to know about UM.

He tries to run, but Stefan easily catches him – without the full moon, TyTy is no match for Stefan. Oh, aggressive Stefan. You don’t know what you do to us.

Over at the pep rally/car wash/fundraiser/carnival/MF town-wide event/memorial service, UC is there.

Carol tells him about Damon heading up the Founders Council. He should talk to him if he wants to help.

Hey, there’s Jer! He jokes that it looks like he slept through UC’s homecoming. He gets all up in UC’s bidness and tells him that he can’t start up with the anti-vamp stuff. Also, maybe use your 6″ voice, Jer. There are civilians about.

UC says he has no intention of doing the anti-vamp thing.

Jer tries to give him the ring (with a side of Jer-ittude) since he obvs will want it back, but UC says he doesn’t want it – what kind of man would he be? Um. One named John Gilbert?

Jeremy spots Bonnie, who’s been accosted by Daddy Warlocks.

She’s not confused about what happened; they betrayed her. Daddy Warlocks assures her that Elijah is a man of his word – he’ll keep his end of the bargain he made with Elena, but

Bonnie doesn’t believe him. Jer to the rescue!

Daddy Warlocks walks away and Jer wants to know what that was about. “More lies,” Bonnie says.

Over at the Mystic Grill, where a big obnoxious memorial for all the dead is taking up a ridic amount of room on one side, Jenna is venting.

Jenna: I can’t believe it. Elena is my sister’s husband’s brother’s daughter, and her mother is my boyfriend’s deceased wife. You can’t make this stuff up.

I’m sorry. I really hate it when people in FICTON make this observation. Anyway, moving on. Ric agrees that it’s overwhelming in his “I’ve known this all along, and you are such a simple, uncomplicated chick in this bat-shit-crazy town which is why I like you” sort of way.

UC comes in and heads right on over to join them.

Just then Damon and Elena come in and spot UC.

Elena stops him and reminds him that they need answers, so he better not go do anything stupid. He whines that stupid is more fun. Hee.

But then she gets him by telling him to be the better man. Ohh! That strikes a chord! They go over to talk to UC.

But being civil is clearly killing Damon.

Back at Lockwood Manor, Stefan is defending Caroline. She’s Tyler’s friend, so he can’t be a dick to her. Stefan says they can keep the same friends, they keep the same secret and make it work.

When his phone rings, Tyler answers, still not trusting Stefan.

Stefan wrestles the phone away. It was Jules; she knows there’s a problem.

At the Mystic Grill, UC is lighting a candle at the shrine.

Damon wants to know what he knows – how can he trust him? UC says that originals can compel vampires. That’s why Katherine is still in the tomb. This tidbit seems to surprise Damon for a sec – the fact that UC even knows about that.

Damon explains that it’s because the vervain is gone from her system, but he and Stefan have been building up a tolerance.

Damon tells UC to give him info about Klaus or he will kill him in his sleep. Rawr. UC says that he needs to know he can trust him first, know he can count on him. Me thinks maybe the name of the ep should have been “Trust Issues.” *sigh*

After a time-warp (Wait. Seriously, the memorial started at noon, and all of a sudden it’s full-on night. Did Elijah stamp out the sun? Is MF in Alaska? Sorry, it bugs me. Carrying on…), Caroline is going to her car and MATTY! catches up to her. She promises him that she’s NOT avoiding him.

He suggests that maybe she is a little. She agrees, and it’s cute.

He wants to talk, so she promises to come back the Grill later when he gets off of work.

When Matt leaves, Jules appears. The SheBitch is looking for Tyler, but Caroline hasn’t seen him.

Jules: I know you’re lying.
Caroline: How? Is that one of your wolf tricks?
Jules: Actually, it is.

Hmm. That’s new. Car turns on her with crazy vamp eyes (atta girl!),

but Jules VERVAINMACES her!! WHAT?!

When Car recovers a bit, BraDIE SHOOTS HER IN THE HEAD!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, BraDIE, you will soon live up to your nickname. SO HELP US!!!

Car finally comes to in a cage! (Cin & Christina & the entire breathing TVD fandom: Oh, HELL TO THE NO!!) She pants and makes agonized visceral noises as she digs the bullet out of her FOREHEAD.

She tries to get out of the cage, but scrambles to the back of the cage when she notices BraDIE sitting all casual creepster sadist wannabe torcha-er not three feet away.

“I noticed you got the bullet out. That was… nasty,” he contributes with a bit too much satisfaction for any sane person. He tells her that he has a lot of wooden bullets and other toys. It’s going to be a long night.

Then he just motherfucking shoots her again, and she screams. CAROLINE!! WTF, BraDIE? I mean, what in the actual fuck? You’re trying to be all tough and intimidating. Sayid Jarrah was a tough and completely motherfucking intimidating torturer. You, dog, are no Sayid Jarrah. For many, many reasons, but mostly because you A) Don’t have the follicles to handle the TORCHA scrunchie, and B) you don’t have the BAMF-ittude to even lick his pwnsauce. You’re just cruel. And you will go down.

Sayid Jarrah is a BAMF!

Back at Lockwood Manor, Tyler is still with Stefan. TeenWolf says they can be friends.

“Will you go now?” he asks Stefan.

Stefan explains that he came to Mystic Falls so he could have a life. Make friends and build a family (tell me this isn’t going to get all magical vamp semen-y on us). They can both have that.

Suddenly Stefan’s phone rings. “Everything okay?” he answers.

“Depends how badly do you want to keep her alive?” It’s Jules from Caroline’s phone! But Stefan doesn’t know that yet. “Who?” he asks. “Ask Damon. Where’s Tyler?” Stefan realizes who it is and demands proof that Caroline is there, alive. BraDIE shoots her again.

SCREAMS! Oh, the SCREAMS!

Stefan: Hurt her again and you’re dead.
Cin & Christina: You better EFFING BELIEVE IT!
Jules: I hurt her again and she’s dead.

Anyone else need a drink? Xanax? Morphling? *breathes*

She tells him to bring Tyler to the clearing in the woods by Wickery Falls.

He has twenty minutes until Caroline dies. Run, Stefan! RUN!

Back at the Grill, Jenna, who’s STILL there, tells Damon that she wants him to meet her friend. He looks at her and says he knows her – she’s the news lady! Andie Star. (Wait, TV reporters in MF are former strippers/porn stars? That explains a lot actually. But I digress.) Even though she’s obvs interested, Damon turns her down (that’s a Damon first!).

As he walks away, Elena calls him on blowing her off. RUDE.

Damon fights back the feelings and says steering clear of all women is “in the best interest of women everywhere.” Probably true. But also criminal.

Just then her phone rings. It’s Stefan. He must have said something disturbing because next thing we know Elena and Damon are having a secret meeting in the Ladies’ bathroom. She tells him about Tyler and Caroline.

Damon asks why he’s just now hearing about this. Is Stefan scared he’s going to kill Tyler?

Elena says they need to get to Caroline, and leave Tyler out of it. Damon points out that it’d be a win-win situation if all werewolves died. I can get behind that logic, but Elena is a tougher sell. There are already too many dead people.

She puts her hands on his arms.

Damon: You need to stop doing that.

Elena looks at her hand on his arm and removes it.

Elena: Doing what?
Cin & Christina: Bitch please, like YOU DON’T KNOW! As if!

Damon: Assuming that I’ll play the good guy. Because it’s you who’s asking.

Elena: *deep sigh* Be the better man, Damon.

Just then UC bursts in the door and demands to know what’s going on. Nothing. “It doesn’t look like nothing.” Damon tells him that trust works both ways, so kindly please GTFO. Elena says they don’t have time for this; they need to go get Caroline.

Damon: “We” don’t need to do anything. I’ll take care of it.

Damon: *turns to leave* First Dad Duty? Ground your daughter. Keep her here.
Elena: I’m coming with you.
UC: No, no, no. I’m with Damon on this one.

She struggles against him for a second, but he gets her to stay. He wants to know what’s going on.

Back over in WereTrashville, Caroline is still crying. 😦 x 1,000,000.

BraDIE asks how many vampires there are and squirts her with a water pistol filled with vervain-water. Caroline squeaks and cries out in pain. BraDIE, I’m warning you. If Car dies, we all die. But not before you, bucko.

She wants to know why he’s doing this, and he says it’s because she’s a vampire.

Then he shoots in the neck with a wooden dart blowgun thing, and she screams again. “LET ME OUT!” AHHHH! I don’t know how much more of this I can handle!! *covers head and rocks back and forth* But seriously, what a werepussy! Why don’t you get within arms reach of the beautiful blonde angel of a teenage vamp and actually get your hands dirty, wannabe-Jarrah, BraDIE? Oh, yeah, BECAUSE SHE’LL TEAR YOUR ARM OFF. Good! You deserve it and so very, very much more. *huffs*

Outside, Jules asks BraDIE if he has the torture out of his system. As expected, he says he’s just getting started. *rolls eyes*

She warns him that he has to be smart, and reminds us all again that she just wants Tyler. Besides, where the vamps are concerned, once you cross a werewolf, you cross them all. Blah blah, WTF-ever.

Back at the Grill, UC explains to Elena that he has to keep her safe. She contends that she’s got it under control. UC asks how. Her deal with Elijah? He says putting her faith in Elijah was a dumb move. As opposed to putting her faith in you, UC? He says that they’re family, and that upsets Elena.

“You don’t get to use that word. You may be my father (Luuuuuukke), but I’ll never be your daughter.” You tell ‘im, gurl!

Back in WereTrashville, Jules, still in the woods, calls out that she knows they’re out there. Stefan and Tyler walk into view.

He’s holding Tyler’s arm like he’s a prisoner. Good.

Stefan: Where’s Caroline?
Jules: Locked up tight.
Stefan: Let her go and I’ll release Tyler. Doesn’t have to get any messier than it already has. We’re not your enemy, Jules.

Jules: It’s a little late to be waving the white flag, dontcha think?

Stefan tells her to leave town, but she says she’s not going anywhere without Tyler. Stefan explains that Tyler is free to make his own decisions… as soon as she releases Caroline.

Uh oh. Here comes trouble.

Damon: My brother, the peacemaker. So Stefan got here before me. I’m going to let him try it his way before I resort to MY way, which is a little bloodier. So, give us Caroline.
Jules: Let go of Tyler.

Damon: Give us Caroline. Without a full moon it’s not an even fight and you know it. We’ll take you.
Jules: I’m not so sure about that, tough guy. *whistles like a dog trainer*

Other werewolf buddies we’ve never seen before come out of the woods to surround the talking party.

Jules: Let’s try this again. Give us Tyler.
Damon: *to Tyler* You hear her. Go. Get over there.

TyTy doesn’t look like he wants to at first, but he finally does.

BraDIE: Which one of you killed Mason?

Damon: Ahhhh, that’d be me.
BraDIE: Boys, make sure that one suffers.
Damon: *under his breath to Stefan* We can take ’em.

Stefan: I don’t know about that.
Damon: Well then.

Then the fight is on!

Damon attacks Jules, who goes all Crouching Tiger on him. Then there’s a werewolf with a blowtorch who’s trying to mess with Stefan.

But he handles him, and grabs the dude from behind, turning him to use the fire on his own people.

Damon, as per usual, is kicking ass and ripping out hearts. You know, general badassery.

Tyler runs into the Winnebago because he’s a pussy, and see’s Car in the cage hurt. She pleads with him.

“Tyler, there’s a latch on the door and I can’t get to it.” He looks at her and but does nothing because he’s a JERK.

Back outside, Stefan is snapping his fair share of necks, catching wooden stakes like a BOSS.

Back inside, Car pleads. “Tyler. Please!”

Finally Teenwolf decides to help her with the cage.

Outside, Stefan is still being a BAMF. He catches another stake and throws it back,

but then another werewolf comes up and stakes Stefan in the back, but typical of most wolves, this one fails, and misses Stefan’s ticker. Tyler is still struggling with Car to get the cage open (See?! They can’t even open a cage), while Damon fights with BraDIE.

Natch, Damon is winning.

But then Jules comes over and shoots Damon with a wooden bullet. Car comes out of the Winnebago, and is looking to help/escape when Jules attacks her.

She pushes Car into the side of the Winnebago and puts the gun to the back of her neck.

Tyler walks out of the ‘bago, and looks at them like he has his dick in his hand and does nothing. BraDIE and another one set up Damon and Stefan for kill shots when

MINDBULLETS ATTACK!!! (Christina: Sounds like a show on FOX.).

It’s Daddy Warlocks!

The cool thing about his Mindbullets is that they seem to only be affecting certain people. It’s all the werewolves, minus Tyler. No vampires are affected. Ninja!

Daddy Warlocks: *to Stefan* Elijah made a promise to Elena. I’m here to see it’s upheld. You need to go. Get out of here. Now.

You don’t have to tell our vamp family twice, DW! Tyler comes forward then.

Daddy Warlocks: When your friends awaken, give them a message: They need to get the hell out of this town.

He leaves and Tyler looks a bit like he’s about to shit himself.

Back at the Forbes’ residence, Stefan is dropping Caroline home.

Her eyes are all red, and she looks ragged. He asks if her mom is home, and when Car says she’s working, he offers to come in and stay with her.

Caroline: I’m fine, Stefan.

Stefan: You don’t have to pretend with me. Anyone would be upset after what you went through tonight.

Caroline: I’m okay. I’m not girly little Caroline anymore. I can handle myself.
Stefan: Sure you can.
Caroline: I just really want to go shower, so…

Stefan: Okay. Goodnight.

He lets Caroline close the door, and he clearly cares and is all worried, and aww!

Back at the SBH, UC is back to finish his conversation with Damon. He admits that he thinks Damon and Stefan will do all they can to protect Elena. In return, he’s willing to spill the beans about how to KILL an Original.

UC: In this vial is ash from a white oak tree, which dates back to the genesis of the Originals. A dagger must be dipped into the ash and then plunged into their heart.
Damon: How do you know all this, John?

UC: Isobel. She’s very good at finding things out. But of course you know that.
Damon: Where is Isobel?
UC: Let’s just say if she accomplishes what she’s attempting, Klaus will never step foot in Mystic Falls. Where Elena is concerned, you and I are on the same side.

Back at the Forbes’ residence, Caroline is pulling little pieces of wood from the blowdart out of her neck. Her phone rings. It’s Matty!

Caroline: Hi.
Matt: Hey. Did something happen?

Caroline: Oh, my… I am so sorry, Matt.

Matt: Well, are you okay?
Caroline: Yeah, something came up with Bonnie and she needed me. A friend thing. You understand?

Matt: *looks at Bonnie flirting it up with Jer at a table at the Grill* Yeah, so, you with her right now?
Caroline: Yeah, so I’m not going to make it tonight. But can I see you tomorrow?

Matt: Yeah, sure. I hope everything works out. Goodnight.
Caroline: Goodnight.

Oh, Caroline! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL HIM? *sigh* She goes back to pulling out the blowdart shrapnel when there’s a knock at the door. Ugh. It’s Teenwolf.

He asks if she’s okay, and she very pissily tells him that she’s fine. FIERCE! He says that he had no idea they would come for her.

Almost crying (OH, CAR!), she asks if he knows what they did to her.

Tyler: I’m sorry. But it’s crazy now. Okay, I don’t know who to trust. You lied to me.

Caroline: I lied to protect my friends. I lied to protect you. Don’t you get that?

Tyler: Caroline…
Caroline: You just stood there when they were going to kill us. You just stood there! You didn’t do anything!
Tyler: I didn’t know what to do.
Caroline: You help your friend. That’s what you do.
Tyler: I’m sorry.

Caroline: No. It’s too late, ’cause we’re not friends anymore. And what happened to me tonight, that will never happen again. So you take that back to your little werewolf pack and you get the hell out of my house. *slams door*

WOOT! YEAH, CAROLINE!

Back at la Casa de Gilbert, UC and Elena are in the kitchen.

He apologizes, but she doesn’t want him there. He says he’s just there to protect her, and she tells him to get in line. Heh.

He wanted to give her a bracelet that was her mother’s – not Isobel’s but Miranda’s. He says that Miranda and Grayson will always be her parents.

He knows she doesn’t like him, but when she lost her parents, he lost his brother, his family, his way. He says he probably can’t make it right with her, but he’s going to try to protect her. AHH. He’s saying the right words, but Elena doesn’t believe him. SMART.

Stefan’s there now. He’s come to ask for her help.

Back at WereTrashville, Tyler tells Jules and BraDIE that UM was there to find the moonstone. BraDIE wants to know if he found it.

Tyler says yes, but he has no clue where it is now.

Back at Caroline’s, there’s a knock at the door, and it’s Stefan! He’s smiling and being so freaking awesome.

Caroline: Hey. What’s going on?

Stefan: I was a bit worried about you after everything you went through tonight.
Caroline: I’m fine.
Stefan: Well good, but just in case, I, um, brought some backup.

He moves aside and Elena and Bonnie walk in,

and Car starts tearing up, and we start tearing up, and omg this is amazing. Stefan, is awesome.

Elena: We’re gonna slumber it.
Bonnie: We haven’t done it in ages.

Now all three are hugging, and CAR is crying and OMG. We wanna slumber it!!! And the look on Stefan’s face tells so much. Looking on that scene is making him happier than anything in the world.

And Elena mouths “I love you” to him and he does it back.

So sweet.

This is him making a family, friends, a place in Mystic Falls. A life. AWWWW.

Back at the SBH, in Damon’s bathtub of sexytime, Damon is kissing on the porn star news chick. She can’t believe he called; she thought she was being too forward. You were, whore. “What do you want, Mr. Tall, Dark & Handsome?” she asks.

Damon says “I’m not that tall.” (“but he was once.” BOOM! Book reference IN YOUR FACE!). They’re kissing and caressing.

He sits back – he wants a distraction. She assures him he can booty-call her whenever he wants.

Damon: See, the thing is, Ms. Sexy Reporter Girl, I have a problem I need help with that’s really messing with my mind.
Andie: Well, tell me about it.
Damon: I’m in love with a woman I can never have.

Andie: I knew it. *huffs a little* I know how to pick ’em. So why can’t you have her? She with another man, I assume.

Damon: *scoffs, kind of belligerent* Yeah, that’s… that’s not the point. The point is I’m in love with her, and it’s driving me crazy. And I’m not in control.
Andie: What, you don’t trust yourself around her?
Damon: I don’t trust myself around anybody, Andie. I’m bad, Andie. I do things.
Andie: Ooh.

Damon: I kill people.
Andie: *laughs. She thinks he’s joking, but sees his face and drops the smile. She realizes he’s not*

Damon: *sits up to her, and she kind of backs away. Starts to compel her* Don’t be afraid. You’re okay. *sits back*
Andie: Why do you kill people?

Damon: Because I like it. It’s in my nature to; it’s who I am. Then I have to stay together to protect her, and she wants me to be a “better man” which means I can’t be who I am. Do you see the problem I’m having, Andie?
Andie: Well maybe this is who you are now. Love does that, Damon. It changes us.


Damon: *seems to contemplate that for a second, and his eyes get kinda teary and his brow furrows* Just stop talking. Just kiss me. Be my distraction.

They lean forward and start making out –

with a SHITTON of tongue, I might add.

Then he bites her neck and we see the blood running down her neck, shoulders, back.

And it’s Time for the sex.

Down in the tomb, UC has come to pay Katherine a visit.

She comes to the mouth of the cave.

UC: I know you were expecting someone else.
Katherine: I sent Stefan to find Isobel.
UC: She got your message. She’s busy, so she sent me instead.

Katherine: Does Stefan know you’re here right now?
UC: No. No one does. This is between you, me and Isobel.
Katherine: I want out of this tomb, John.

UC: I’m already on it.

They exchange a look and dun dun DUN!

(All screencaps courtesy of crystalcaps at LiveJournal.)

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3 Responses to Episode 213 “Daddy Issues”

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Episode 213 “Daddy Issues” | The Salvatore Boarding House -- Topsy.com

  2. Malsey says:

    As always, ladies, the SBH recaps never cease to have me LOLing all the way through. The silly/sarcastic/EFFING-awesome names you guys come up with for each character…ugh…they’re brilliant! Confession, though…I was slightly disappointed with the lack of personal commentary during the Damon’s-bubbly-sexytime-tub scene. But I guess I’ll give you guys grace and assume your lack of commentary had do to with the excessive drooling/panting/UNFing/fantasizingthatYOU’REtheonesuckingfacewithDamon going on. 😉

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