Oh, show. You don’t even know what you’ve done. You’ve unleashed the wrath of the SBH, and I’m not so sure it can be easily bottled up again. Like, sheer, unbridled hatred. Also, we have some demands (detailed below) that we ask you fulfill. Or else! Just kidding. We still love you. But seriously. Demands. Last night’s ep was so full of cray. Torture, carnage, self-loathing, compulsion, deceit. So many scary/sad/worrisome plot points, but also some really enjoyable ones (despite the other feelings they make us feel). Plus, Cin’s CW affiliate cut the first 7 minutes, which means she missed the first tasty. Not the right mind set to start this ep on. No sir! So, let’s get to it. To the reactions!
Main Players: Cin and Christina (SBH owners); Cat and Mel (SBH contributor and friend).
You Don’t Fucking Mess With Our Caroline
Cin: So TeenWolf shows up all bent out of shape & right off the bat ABUSES my girl again! Shoving her into a car? Bullshit. How people can ship ‘Tyoline’ is truly beyond me and clearly she is NOT into him that way. Ugh! I mean right off the cuff when she thinks he’s there for post-slobber talk, all she wants is to squash that shit in the bud. People, she LOVES MATT! She told him so. She beams whenever he’s around. She hurts because she can’t tell him the truth. Jesus! I’m convinced Tyoline & Delena shippers are the same loud massess. Pay attention to the characters you’re shipping and not the voices in your head, people. Yeah. I went there. Bring it.
Christina: For real! MATTY! Why can’t she just tell him already?! I hate Tyler so much. I really don’t see the appeal either. One of our commenters said that we were the first blog she saw that was anti-Tyoline. Why? Why aren’t there more? I just don’t see it. I never did, and I never will. People can think what they want, and ship who they want, but… Caroline and Tyler… they don’t go together. At all.
Cat: It’s beyond me really. I don’t see it as anything more than a vehicle to fuel the vamp/wolf thing. On the plus side, Caroline is now proper fucking pissed. I likey likey.
Cin: Hallelujah! Jules/BraDIE attacking my girl with vervainmace and wood bullets and then kidnapped & torturing her. And Car screaming… I just can’t even. Massive RAGE boils on my gut just thinking about it. Let me be clear: It physically hurt me to see Car tortured like that. Did I think she was going to die? No. Did it make it hurt any less? NO! And TeenWolf not doing a thing to help her when Jules had her at gunpoint after he let her out of the cage — PROOF HE SUCKS!
Christina: Word to your fucking mother. I felt sick the entire time she was in that cage. Screaming. Getting shot with that stupid little water pistol. BraDIE is going to hell. And if someone doesn’t take care of that soon, I may have to take a trip to Mystic Falls and take him there myself. I didn’t think she was going to die either, but… no. Just. You don’t fucking do that to our Car!
Cat: Word. It was hard to watch for sure – especially the bullet to the head. (I take it this is the ep Williamson compared to a horror movie?) Standing around with his wolfdick in his hand while his friend was being tortured kind of seals Tylers fate don’t you think? They can’t go back – they can’t pretty it up or excuse it.
Cin: Exactly. But I’m pretty sure the last ep was the horror movie episode. At least the Elena/Jules parts for certain. This ep was more like torture porn. Which I can’t stand & don’t acknowledge as a genre. I mean, I’m pretty convinced they want us to hate all the wolves.
Mel: Watching what Car had to go through was seriously hard. Cin, I kind of got misty while watching. I also don’t think I’ve ever cursed someone out as much as I did BraDIE last night. I will say this. The sooner BraDIE and Jules die the better I think all of our lives will be lol. I just hope that their deaths, whenever they will be will be the worst deaths ever in the history of were deaths! Okay I’m done haha.
Christina: Don’t be, Mel. I’m about to unleash… *breathes*
All Weres Must Die
Christina: Jules, you twat. I can’t even. I hope to TPTB that you suffer a slow and painful death. Preferably consisting of a series of flesh wounds stuffed with wolfsbane. And I think a squirt gun filled with Wolfsbanorade for BraDIE, eh? Torture. Pure torture. *heavy breathing* *rageblackout*
Cin: I don’t have enough made up curse words for my hate of Jules & BraDIE (Let me explain the name — beside the obvious: My beloved youngest, the infamous Brady, is my glorious demon spawn angel. I *REFUSE* to call any were, and especially one as fucking demented as THIS were by that name on my fucking blog). First of all, this shit has gone entirely too far. Why aren’t they dead yet? Why didn’t Damon rip THEIR hearts out? Oh yeah, ‘cause they aren’t unnamed stunt people; they are “guest stars.” Fuck. That. Shit. Hopefully they will load TeenWolf in their god awful winnebago and leave MF with him for their equally shitty testosterone-filled “community.”
Cat: I hope we’ll soon see the end of nose actor Tyler. I can’t wait to see Caroline go medieval on his ass. I don’t want the writers don’t go for peaceful coexistence at the end of this. I want to see Caroline tear out his heart.
Christina: That would be especially glorious. I’d like to see her execute that move. She learned it from Damon, you know, haha.
Cin: That’d be sweet! As much as I’d love for it to be Car who kills him eventually, I think it will be Stefan. Car is too fragile, especially after the last few weeks, and it might push her to the dark side. Stefan would do it to help her/the greater good. Yes. That’s what I want. All I know is Trevino’s been in L.A. for over 2 weeks now. Not in ATL. Is he dead or just on a were spirit journey until he misses Mommy’s mansion? Who even cares?
Christina: My other beef with Tyler is this (this is why I hate him): Tyler is static. We’ve seen this happening through all 35 episodes. Tyler is exactly the same as he was at the beginning of the show. For a character who will now forever be forced to go through such a dramatic change at every full moon, Tyler has experienced no growth, no change of behavior. Nothing. He is just as big a dick now as he was before. He’s an untrusting, easily manipulated, rage-filled little boy.
Cat: Yes. In the words of the wise one – he’s dangerous and must be eliminated. You can’t reason with an unstable wolf. (<- I feel like I need this t-shirt)
Christina: Haha that is very true. We’ll add it to our SBH t-shirt ideas list 😉 Tyler is completely unreasonable. In my opinion, he is unloveable. How can he expect to be loved, when he refuses to learn? In the books, he was basically a date-rapist… who was also a rage-filled werewolf. He was a DICK (as was his friend, Dick). He hasn’t done that in the show, but… it’s in him. He could be. Especially the way he likes to manhandle Caroline. I am so glad she gave him the what-for. Caroline, you are my hero. Tyler, go crawl under the house and die.
Cin: Agreed! What has his growth been? He’s gone from being a general douchebag to one with teeth. “That’s all the wolf testosterone making him bad… he’s misunderstood.” – I say FUCK. THAT. The issue is I don’t give a rat’s ass to understand or care about him. Is that how they are writing him, or Trevino? I’m not sure, but the fact remains that he’s a stereotype & I hate stereotypes.
Cat: Speaking of the manhandle – why didn’t Car just throw that bitchwolf off when he pinned her to the car? She should still be stronger than him sans moon right?
Christina: I thought that too. I think she was probably just caught off guard. Plus they were outside. Neighbors. Not that that should have stopped her.
Mel: As much as I hate Tyler. Even more so now after last nights episode. I kind of, sort of don’t want him to die. Nor do I think he would get killed off. Its not because somewhere deep down in my soul I still like him because trust me I do NOT! I just feel that there could possibly be a lot more to be said. I kind of want to see what road the writers would take him down. Would he still be a mega douche and side with the other Weres or would he realize that he is a douche and not want to be THAT kind of were and maybe side with Car and everyone else? Like, maybe he will go on what Cin said a “were spirit journey” (which by the way is hilarious) and realize a lot about himself. I don’t know. Its just a thought. Either way, I hate his face haha.
Christina: I don’t know if Tyler is capable of that kind of introspection. Just sayin’.
Pity Party Bath Time
Cin: Damon’s excessive bathing. He hasn’t bathed in 35 eps. And suddenly twice in 1 ep. (NOT that I’m complaining, he needs to be very, very clean. *nods*) Is this part of his “crisis”? Do these humanity regrets make him feel dirty? LOL
Christina: Sort of. It’s a metaphor. He’s trying to cleanse himself of his problems, the things he thinks he is, and the thinks he thinks he shouldn’t be. To make himself shiny and clean — what Elena wants him to be. But, natch, it’s not working. So I’m guessing that’s the reason for multiple baths/showers.
Cat: Blah blah metaphor metaphor. *TREASURE TRAIL*. Swoon. Okay, I’m slightly recovered. Yes, this is obviously Damon trying to wash his humanity or guilt or whatever away.
Cin: I am glad though that “girlfriend” (she’s a girl & will be his friend – therefore I have no problem calling her his gf – just like IS does) is someone who had the hots for Damon without compulsion at least. That had me worried after the last ep. She came & jumped in his bubble bath just because she clearly doesn’t have a problem living up her porn star name & just wanted a piece of that sexy Magically Delicious ass. I can respect that. THEN after she made that choice and offered up endless booty calls, he started the compulsion so he could feel his feelings.
Christina: Honestly, I still feel kind of dirty about the whole thing, but the fact that she offered herself to him before the compulsion… I guess I feel okay about that. I’m just worried about Damon’s mental health 😦
Cin: Damon’s “crisis” really boils down to the fact that I think he’s seeing that seeing himself pining away for another woman who will never love him as not living the kind of life Rose wanted. Seeing Rose die with those regrets – maybe he sees that he’s wasting his undead life by living a delusion of happiness. Hopefully all of this introspection and emoting will bring him to a place where he realizes he is better than being the person who just pines away for something he doesn’t need and can’t have.
Christina: The only thing is — I don’t think he sees himself in a delusion right now. It seemed to me that he saw himself more in a conflict of wills. She wants him to be one way, but he’s afraid that by being that, he will no longer be himself. That’s the existential crisis. Damon, as he knows himself, would disappear. He can’t reconcile that with the intense love/obsession he feels for Elena.
Cat: I think he laid the whole thing out pretty succinctly. Elena wants him to be a better man. To be a better man goes against his very nature. She’ll never love him, so why even try? So, blah blah blah, ipso facto, tortured soul. (I’m sure I used that wrong, but I love it)
Christina: Sounds good to me 😉
Cin: You two are brilliant. *smooches* On the upside: Damon is the head of The Council! I don’t know why this made me so happy, but the look on UC’s face alone made this revelation glorious. I want to see a meeting now. Pronto.
Christina: Sheriff Mom already does everything for him… just wait until he starts giving orders… rawr?
Don’t Trust UC
Christina: There was a minute there toward the end where I wanted to trust him. All the words pouring out of his mouth were the right words… and I could feel myself wanting to believe him. But yeah. You have a shitty track record, UC. Elena don’t trust you, I don’t trust you.
Mel: I definitely don’t trust him at all either. I kind of sort of believed him for like 5 seconds and then realized what I was doing and snapped out of it lol. Its like you said, everything he said was the right things to say. All I know is that he needs to die. And for reals this time!
Cin: I also thought he was entirely *too* reasonable through most of the episode. The scene with Jer showed it the most. But I’m always suspicious. And then at the very end him visiting Kathi & promising he’s working on getting her out. Smelled it comin’.
Christina: Also, WTF was with the whole dropping the Daddy Bomb so nonchalantly. Shady. I sense bad things to come…
Mel: That was definitely a “did that just happen” moment. I think my jaw literally dropped haha.
Christina: I think I actually said out loud, “Ohhh shiiitt.” Haha
Cin: How easy was the ashes of the white oak tree produced and delivered? Too easy if you ask me. He left town terrified and wanting the Salvatores dead – now he waltzes in all super agreeable and taking a subservient role? Right…
Christina: Yeah, that part with the ashes was fishy to me. Again, it’s the whole “why would Isobel and John know more about originals than anyone else?” thing.
Cin: Too much “Daddy Dearest” for sure. He hasn’t given a rat’s ass about Elena her whole life – was even mean to her – and suddenly he’s Mr. Father Knows Best? Not likely.
Christina: Yes. Which is exactly why I’m so glad Elena is as cynical a bitch as we are, haha. You tell ‘im, gurl!
Stefan – Sweet & Dangerous
Christina: Stefan was pretty much 10 kinds of awesome in this ep. He intimidated Tyler, he helped save Caroline, then he brought her her friends for an impromptu slumber party? It doesn’t really seem like much, especially when other storylines (*cough cough Damon’s*) overshadow pretty much everything else, but THIS is why I love Stefan. This episode.
Cat: Even I kind of liked Stefan last night, though I’m sure he was in more scenes than I noticed.
Mel: So true! Kit Kat was all kinds of awesome last night. When he brought Elena and Bonnie over to Caroline’s I was all like ‘AWWW’. He did good. Don’t even get me started on when he basically put Tyler in his place. HOTNESS lol. Saving Caroline was just the icing on the cake. Oh Stefan. You make my heart all kinds of happy *le sigh*
Cat: Did Stefan save Caroline? Didn’t Daddy Warlocks save them all. (Not being snarky, I easily could have missed it)
Christina: No, you’re right. Daddy Warlocks saved them all at the end, but Stefan got there first to try to save her. He, in the end, needed saving too, but he was cavalier about Caroline.
Cat: Oh, right. Stefan was going to end up dead with that though. He’s just like Elena that way lol
Christina: Haha, true. He’s brave, and good-intentioned. Just like Elena.
Cin: I love Stefan. It’s episodes like this that kinda make me feel bad for Paul Wesley because he is awesome & knocks that awesomesauce out of the park, but still people are just focusing on Damon & Car. We are no different here, but he deserves more. Better. I see why Elena is in love with Stefan; he’s a great guy. How he handled himself in just about every situation in this ep – with Caroline & Tyler & in the fight – I loved. The last scene where he brings Elena & Bonnie to Caroline’s for the slumber party & Car started crying – I fucking cried. Christ! I’m misting up now just thinking about it. Best thing ever. For some reason I didn’t shed a tear last week as emotional as the ep was, and I thought it was because of becoming desensitized to the show a little because of the work with this blog… but I was wrong. CEARS + sweetness will still puddle me up. Big time.
Christina: I totally agree. Stefan doesn’t get the attention he deserves. He’s a good person. He’s the good person that Elena wants. They compliment each other. Like I said, all this — this is why I love Stefan. We need more Stefan over here!
Where’s Our BAMF When We Need Him?
Christina: First off — Where the fuck was Elijah this episode? I was told there would be Elijah, and there was no Elijah, and now I feel gypped and betrayed. *deep breath* I’ll be okay. But there BETTER be Elijah in the next ep! Just sayin’.
Cat: I could not agree more. I really, really miss him.
Mel: WORD! It has been way too long since we’ve seen Elijah. Keeping my fingers crossed that will get to him on the next episode!
Cin: I fully expected Elijah to show up during the wolf throw down. Like, I was looking for him and praying he’d waltz in himself to save the day. Sending Daddy Warlocks, while I admit person-specific Mind-Bullets was pretty effin sweet, was just a sad replacement. I needed some carnage via our Elijah. Two eps in a row without some Original action was just way too long!
Mel: When Daddy Warlocks showed up I thought for sure Elijah would. Especially since he just kept throwing his name out there! But nope. Still no Elijah… *sigh*. Although, I have to agree with you about the Mind-Bullets! Shit was awesome! I thought it was Bonnie at first but then I realized she probably couldn’t do that yet. Daddy Warlocks sure got points for that in my book.
Christina: Please, Bonnie is not that cool. Hahahaha. I said it.
So, we’re dying to know what you thought! Judging by the Twitter stream last night, you’re all as incensed with the wolves as we are. What do you think should happen to them?