Episode 2.12 “The Descent”

2.12 “The Descent”

Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Stefan is stuck in a well the Tomb with Katherine, and Elena is determined to get him out. But Damon has other plans, and has Bonnie cast a spell to keep her under house arrest. In other news, Werewolf Jules has arrived in town and Damon and Alaric rekindle their bromance to nip that in the bud. Out in the woods, Caroline is helping Tyler set things up in the cellar. Oh, did I mention that it’s a FULL MOON?! Tyler changes and almost kills Caroline. Jules changes and tries to bite Damon, but bites Rose instead. Bonnie and Whathisface share a rooftop magicgasm whilst “destroying” the moonstone. And Elena meets the local author that Jenna is helping out — and it’s Elijah! She strikes a deal with him. If she’ll stay put and help him draw Klaus to Mystic Falls, he’ll make sure that everyone she loves is kept safe. Pssh. Okay. But isn’t Elijah dreamy? *bats eyelashes* Oh, and Elijah gets Stefan out of the tomb, but compels Katherine to stay in there! Wah-nah-nah!

We open in the woods. Jules is just waking after a full night of wolfing it up, all bloody-mouthed.

Looks like someone had a midnight snack! She gets up and magically finds perfectly fitting clothing (that contains at least the same jacket she was wearing at the Grill in ep 2.11. I mean, how freaking lucky, eh? *rolls eyes*?) Shock! She also takes in the rest of her surroundings, which includes a helluva lot of dead bodies.

She starts to gather them to hide them, but a pesky deputy shows up! UGH! Anyway, she fake cries, and says they were her friends and they were attacked by a wolf.

And blah blah blah. Anyway, she kills the deputy.


TITLE CARD!

Over at the SBH, Elena is looking for Stefan in his room.

Natch, he sneaks up on her.

SANS SHIRT!

STOP! Make out time!

They’re all cuddly and cute and aww they don’t want to be apart anymore! But of course Stefan pulls away and brings up the problem of Klaus and how Elena won’t just leave well enough alone. Elena protests that Elijah said she’d be safe if she played by his rules, but Stefan is wary.

Elena fixes Stefan a vervain cocktail as he tells her about his plan to contact Isobel with some questions.

He downs the drink – in preparation of their meeting, saying that if Katherine built up a tolerance for the stuff, so could he. Unfortunately, Stefan is no Dread Pirate Roberts,

so he chokes and slumps to the floor for a moment. Elena wonders why Elijah is able to compel another vampire. Stefan suspects it’s because he’s an Original, though he does not know what that means. No one does. Except maybe Isobel. OOOooooohhh.

Out in another room, Rose is still dying from the wolf bite. She’s telling Damon that she was born in 1450 (she’s 560 years old), so she can die. She’s lived enough.

Damon, not one to enjoy the feeling of feeling feelings, is all “If you’re going to be maudlin, I’m just going to kill you myself, just to put me our of your misery.” Hehehe. I mean, *ahem*, this is a solemn occasion. Rose IS dying and all. Damon gives her some blood to keep her strong.

They both note that it seems to be working; she does feel a bit better. He goes to her back to check out the wound and I can practically smell the rot from here.

It’s just… nastay. Damon sees that it looks worse, but when Elena comes in the room just then, he inquires after her medical expertise for a second opinion.

Yep, healin’ up REAL nice.

Elena takes Damon aside, and asks how Rose is doing. Damon confesses that she’s not any better, and in fact she may actually die.

Damon: The sooner she dies, the better.
Cin & Christina: Whatever, Damon. Or should we call you Sawyer?

Not to have her secondary story line situation downplayed, Elena was hoping that Damon could “talk sense” into Stefan, but Damon admits he’s with his baby bro on this one.

She – Elena – needs to be kept safe. At all costs. Suck on that, Elena!

Plus, he’s kind of got his hands full what with Rose dying and the whole wolf sitch.

Over at the Booster Club BBQ, Caroline is telling Tyler how proud of him she is.

He successfully survived his first transformation. They gotta celebrate the small victories, you know. Truth. You know what would be a nice small victory? If this wolfy storyline would just disappear completely. But I digress. Tyler thanks her for coaching him through it.

He doesn’t know what he would have done without her there.

Car starts talking about next month. They should reinforce the wall since he almost came at her like a spider monkey last time. She explains to him about how the wolf bites are fatal to vampires. “One bite and it’s curtains for me.” Wait, hold on. Who talks like that anymore?

Nevermind that; here comes Matty!

He walks up to Caroline. He wants to talk. She tells him right off that there’s nothing going on between her and Tyler, and Matt believes her. I know, right? Like, as if!

He doesn’t think she’s a liar, but he does think that they got “some wires crossed here.” Then Matt gets all adorable and admits he gets tongue-tied.

He doesn’t like what’s going on between them. Car just kind of stares at him uncomprehendingly until he grabs her face. “I just wanna,” he says before laying the mother of all kisses on her!

AWWW! You hear that? Those are my heartstrings being tugged.

Caroline allows herself to enjoy it for a minute before pulling away.

“You can’t,” she managed to get out.

Now Matty’s confused and hurt, but Caroline has no answer for him and walks away.

Noooo. 😦

Over at the Mystic Grill, Jules meets up with Sheriff Mom and asks about Mason. Alaric, who practically lives there now it seems, spots her and calls Damon (he’s on Bromance Speed dial).

He leaves him a message: “the wolf is in the grill.” That is probably the worst code language ever. Just sayin’.

Now Stefan walks over and takes a seat at Alaric’s table, and accuses him of doing Damon’s dirty work.

Alaric points out that Jules could have a cure for Rose. But Stefan wants to chat about Isobel. Ric knows it’s about Elena; Stefan wants to talk to Isobel about Klaus. Alaric says he has Isobel’s old number, but Stefan has to be careful; he can’t trust her.

Ric promises to pass it along if he finds the number. Please, like you don’t have that shit memorized.

Back at the SBH, Nurse Elena is walking Rose to bed, who says it feels like she has a cold – something she hasn’t had in over 500 years. She explains to Elena that when vampires die, it’s sudden. Not drawn out by illness. Suddenly Elena realizes that they’re in Damon’s bedroom, and really drinks in the sights.

There’s a California King four-poster bed, a huge bathtub and teak shower.

Mag-fucking-nificent!

Rose: You’ve never been in Damon’s room before, have you?

Elena picks up a book from his bedside table.

Rose: Not what you expected?
Elena: It’s just a room with a bed. Maybe I expected silk sheets.

They both giggle a bit, but then Rose gets contemplative again.

Rose: You’re lucky, you know. No one’s ever loved me the way you’re loved.

Elena: I doubt that.

Rose explains that Trevah was her friend, but that’s all. When they were on the run, she didn’t want to set up roots – having a family was not really something a vamp could do anyway.

She questions why Elena is giving up, but Elena denies it. Rose calls Elena’s deal with Elijah and “easy deal.” Does she really think that Bonnie destroyed the moonstone? But Elena does; she spoke to Bonnie. However, Bonnie did mention that she had help, and if she brought in Elijah’s witch in on this, then no, she can’t be certain.

Rose begins to seemingly drift off into sleep, but it becomes clear when she starts mumbling about her horses and Trevah that she’s hallucinating.

Elena tries to give her more blood,

but she chokes on it and tries to attack Elena, whom she thinks is Katerina!

Dun dun DUN! But luckily, Elena is able to convince her that she is herself, and not Katherine, and reason starts to come into Rose’s eyes again.

Rose apologizes to Elena, and tells her not to be scared. Okay. But Rose starts to get upset. All she wants to do is go home – to a place some 30 km south of London. (Fun fact: apparently 30 km south of London lies the M25 Motorway. So, there you go).

Rose: When you live long enough, everything disappears.

She wishes she hadn’t been so afraid…

Back at the Mystic Grill, Jules is eating.

And Stefan is creeping watching when he gets a text from Alaric.

It’s a phone number for Isobel.

Stefan calls it and leaves a message, telling her it’s about Elena, and it’s important.

Just then Damon comes into the Grill, and Stefan warns him not to do anything to Jules; there are tons of people around.

That’s too bad. I was kind of looking forward to seeing him rip her spleen through her back. Damon was too. Stefan is concerned about Rose, though Damon assures him she’s fine. Sometimes vampires die. It happens, he reasons.

He decides he’s going to have a chat with “ladywolf,” and goes off. Isobel picks that exact moment to call back, so Stefan goes off to take the call.

At Jules’ table, Damon is telling her she won’t live to see another full moon unless she tells him how to cure wolf bite.

She just tells him to bite her. She’s basically a giant cuntbasket, all-around. She tells him she knows all the symptoms: chills, unbearable pain, and eventually dementia before the vamp turns rabid. *GULP* Jules suggests the cure of ramming a stake through her heart.

See? Cunt.

Back at the SBH, Elena brings clean sheets to Rose, who WAS in Damon’s bed, but now is GONE!

She searches for her, but can’t find her.

She calls up Damon and leaves him a message saying that he should probably think about coming home since she kind of lost Rose. You think Damon was screening her call? Anyway, Elena finally does find Rose…

in Damon’s blood stash in the basement!

Rose calls her Katerina again, and attacks. Again. Elena runs, trying to convince Rose that she’s hallucinating, but Rose doesn’t believe her.

By this time, they’re upstairs and Elena pulls open a curtain, bathing Rose in sunlight.

Which is dumb as fuck btw, because any vamp, even a dying one could vampspeed and Ms. Elena wouldn’t get two feet. But to play up the horror movie motif this ep has going, it’s all very dramatically implausible. Rose recoils and Elena makes a run for it, but Rose catches up with her, natch.

Elena digs her fingers into the flesh-eating diseased area

and stalls her long enough to run up to Stefan’s room, where she barricades herself in.

She runs to the balcony, but decides that the second floor is evidently too high to even consider trying to get down when, you know, the SUN is still up, so she goes back into the room and breaks something to get herself a nice little stake.

Outside the bedroom door, Rose is apologizing again. She knows she’s really Elena, but clearly Elena doesn’t trust her anymore. Ya think? I mean, what? Suddenly Elena is the dumb chick running upstairs when she should be running outside? She was right there at the front door! Then she was right there at the balcony. Really? REALLY? And suddenly the villain can be slowed? Since when? Ugh, this just REEKS of corny 80s horror flick.

Back at the school, Caroline is taking trash through the hallway when Matty catches up to her.

Matt: Why?

Caroline: Why what?
Matt: I kissed you.
Caroline: I know; I was there.

Matt: So why’d you run away?
Caroline: You caught me off guard.
Matt: Yeah.

Caroline: What’d you expect me to do?
Matt: Not that.
Caroline: Well, I’m sorry.
Matt: And…
Caroline: And what? What do you want me to say, Matt?

Matt: Something. Anything. How did you feel? Anything in the realm of truth right now would be nice.

Caroline: Okay. I feel like I… I love you.

OOOOH! And the tears start to well up! The look on Matty’s face is just… awww.


Matt: “I love you”? Then what’s the problem? What are you keeping from me, Car? Look, if you love me, then tell me. So what is it?

Caroline looks like she’s debating telling him, like she might let something slip…

when they’re interrupted by some Cheerio hoe named Dana. “NOT NOW, DANA!” When he turns around again, Car is gone!

Awww! Wibble.

Back at the SBH, Elena is still holed up in Stefan’s room.

But because this is obvs still a bad 80s horror movie, she decides that since she hasn’t heard any noises outside the door in entirely too long, she’s going to venture out. When she gets the door open, no one is there. She wanders around the house, but finds only Damon,

who snuck up on her in typical Damon fashion. Looks like Rose is gone!

To the pep rally/bonfire/parade/booster club fundraiser/random Mystic Falls town shindig!

Rose is there, snacking the shit out of a janitor who finds her in the parking lot puking her guts out.

Commercial!

Later, Damon shows up at the scene and Sheriff Mom lays down the facts.

It was a vamp. One of her deputies (does she have like 100 stocked up in a cupboard somewhere?) (Cin: Shh! It’s in the script!) found the body. Damon suggests they need to secure the area. Sheriff Mom, shame on you. Why didn’t you think of that?

Elsewhere, Elena is calling Stefan again. Damon comes up to her, and she asks if he’s heard from Stefan.

Damon: Baby brother isn’t exactly my priority right now.

Heh. He hands her a stake.

On the other side of campus, two random, unsuspecting teens are all “What happened?” “Oh, he had a heart attack; dropped dead.” Yeah, a heart attack caused by being drained of blood. Seriously, WTF is with this horror movie trope? Anyway, so the girl gets in the car, and after a moment realizes that her redshirt boyfriend hasn’t gotten in the car, when suddenly BAM!

Dead body on the windshield!! So, wisely, the girl gets out of the car all screamy, and

ROSE ATTACK!

Damon runs up to her and tries to stop her, and Rose turns on him!

But he’s able to calm her down and she sees what she’s done.

Rose: I never wanted to hurt anybody.
Damon: I know.

Rose is all weepy and bloody and apologizing, and Damon suggests he take her home.

“No, I don’t have a home; I haven’t in so long,” she says between sobs.

Rose: Make it stop! I hate it! Make it stop!

Damon sort of looks helpless here for a second before he picks her up and carries her away.

Back at the SBH in Damon’s Bed of Dreams, Rose is lying there sweating. She apologizes as soon as she sees Damon there next to her.

Damon: You went on a murderous rampage. It happens.

Rose also apologizes to Elena about taking human lives. Damon turns to Elena and snaps at her that she shouldn’t be there.

RUDE!

Rose: That’s the worst part about it. The hunt, the need to kill. Thirst. The pleasure it brings afterward. Wasn’t meant to be evil. It hurts.

Damon tells her to stop talking about it then, and I don’t know if she’s just in pain or if Rose actually rolled her eyes at him.

If so, hehe. Damon walks away, but Elena gets closer to her.

Rose: Damon’s a lot like me. He wants to care. But when he does, he runs away from it.

Rose also tells Elena that she’s sorry for what she did today, and that Elena has to fight. Even if she’s scared, she has to do it anyway.

Suddenly Rose starts coughing violently and Damon turns around, alarmed. Elena tries to comfort her.

Rose: Why are you so nice to me?

Elena: Us humans.
Rose: You never forget it. What it’s like to be human. It haunts me. That’s the only thing that’s kept me going. Doesn’t hurt as much anymore…

Suddenly she’s wracked with massive pain and starts shouting at Damon to “make it stop” again. He tells Elena to go, and for once she listens, and leaves.

Damon gets into bed with Rose and pulls her into his lap to comfort her as she’s screaming and crying.

Over at the Forbes’ residence, Caroline is just getting home, and Tyler is waiting for her on her porch.

He wants to know where she’s been, like he has a right to know. She tells him that she’s been at school. This so reminds me of that scene in Dodgeball where White is being all creepy outside Kate’s house. If only Matty was there to make Tyler bleed his own blood. Caroline asks Tyler what he wants.

Tyler: We need to talk.

Caroline: Why? What’s wrong with you?
Cin & Christina: SO MANY THINGS!
Tyler: I just don’t understand what happened.
Caroline: What?

Tyler: Why would you risk it? If a werewolf bite kills a vampire, why would you risk it?

Caroline: Because you needed help.
Tyler: I could have killed you.
Caroline: But you didn’t.

Tyler doesn’t understand her, apparently.

In return, Caroline gets all rowdy and in his face about how he doesn’t like people to help him or care about him. Well, she cares (for some reason)! She’s about to tell him off some more when he leans in and — *gag* — he leans in and — huuuurhhhhnnnn — he leans in and — ugh. Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little. He k-i-s-s-e-s her.

NOO! And she kisses back, but then pushes him away (ATTA, GIRL!).

She’s all “You can’t do that!” echoing her earlier words to Matty. Tyler tries to hastily apologize, but Caroline is having none. “Ugh! Everyone just needs to stop kissing me!” And she turns into her house and slams the door in his face.

Heh.

Back at the SBH, Damon is reclining in his bed while Rose leans back against his chest.

Rose: Who’d have thought you’d be a nice guy?
Damon: I’m not nice. I’m mean. I like it.
Rose: You lie.

Damon Shh, just sleep. Just sleep.

Now, she’s sleeping, and we’re transported to her dream:

the rolling hills of the English countryside. It’s all very beautiful; the leaves are changing color and there are horses and Rose has long hair, and is wearing a long, simple dress the color of a clear blue sky.

And it’s all very “oh, farmboy. Fetch me that pitcher.”

Cin: THEY ARE READING OUR BLOG!!!
Christina: I know! It’s like they’re GIVING us the PB references. Kind of.

Damon is sitting on the hill and she goes to him, and sits next to him.

Rose: This was my favorite place to come as a girl. How did you know?
Damon: Word gets around. You told Elena.
Rose: Am I dreaming?

Damon: *shrug*

Rose: The sun is so warm. I miss this. I miss being human.
Damon: Humanity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Rose: I had friends. I had a family. I mattered.

Damon: You still do.
Rose: No, but you do. You built a life whether you want to admit it or not. I spent 500 years just existing.
Damon: You didn’t have a choice. You were running from Klaus.
Rose: There is always a choice.
Damon: You are ruining our perfect day with your strong philosophical babbling. *hug*

Rose: I’d like to enjoy the fresh air. Will you enjoy it with me?

Damon: As you wish For a while.

Back in Damon’s Bed of Dreams, he’s holding her as her body goes limp. In the dream, she thanks him. Damon asks for what, and Rose tells him that the pain is gone, and Damon is glad.

Rose: Will I see them again? My family?
Damon: I think you will see whoever you want to see.

Rose: That’ll be nice. Maybe I’ll see Trevor too. I’m not afraid anymore.

Back in Damon’s Bed, Damon lets go of her and raises a stake.

The DEARS are starting! Back in the dream, Rose tells Damon that she’ll race him to the trees, though Damon promises her she’ll lose.

Rose: I’m older and faster.

Damon: Oh, you think. Well, I’m controlling this dream, so maybe I’ll cheat.
Rose: On the count of 3…

Back in the room, Damon is lifting the stake. We hear Rose counting. “1… 2…” and down comes the stake.

He is crying real tears and WOOBIE 4EVER!

Over in the woods, Damon is meeting Sheriff Mom.

“Here’s your vampire,” he says, showing her Rose’s body in the trunk of his car. She thanks him for saving the town. Damon promises to take care of the body, then turns around for one more mournful look at Rose before he closes the trunk.

*sniff*

Back at the Mystic Grill, Jules and Teen Wolf have come together for a bit of a meeting. She says she just wants to be his friend. She knows about Mason and him – that they’re werewolves – and she knows about Caroline. Tyler wants to know how.

Jules is all like “I can smell ice, ya know!” Or rather, she asks “Can’t sniff them out?” She realizes Tyler is brand new, and says she can help him. She also knows what happened to Mason. He was murdered!

Jules: Want to know who murdered him? Your little blonde vampire did.

LIES!

Tyler denies it, and maintains that Caroline is the only vampire in town when Jules tries to convince him otherwise. Jules is like “She lied. This town is crawling with vampires.” Hold on. There are, like, 3 permanent vampire residents and 2 (now 1) temporary vampire residents for now. How exactly does that constitute “crawling”? Founders Day. Now THAT was “crawling.”

Anyway, she promises Tyler that they’ll get “them,” and that there are others “like us, and they’re on their way.” Oh, great. *sigh*

Back at the SBH, Elena is waiting for Damon. She wanted to make sure he was okay, but he’s trying not to feel feelings.

“Go home, Elena. It’s a whole new day tomorrow.” She points out that she’s his friend and he snaps that he’s well aware of that fact.

She was just saying that as friends, she can tell that he’s upset. What? Does she just want to hear him say that he’s upset? “I’m not.”

Elena calls him on pretending, and Damon relents a little.

So, he feels, and it sucks. What sucks even more, Damon explains, is that it was supposed to be him – Jules was coming after him. Elena says that he’s just feeling guilty.

Damon: That would be human of me, wouldn’t it, Elena? And I’m NOT human.

They fight briefly about how all Elena’s done is give up whenever there’s a bad situation. Then Damon tells her to go home. “Enough doom and gloom and personal growth for one night.”

She turns to go, but before she leaves, she turns to him and pulls him into a hug.

He lets her, and he’s clearly fighting the feelings.

She says goodnight, and the DEARS!

The DEARS!

Back at la Casa de Gilbert, Stefan is back.

He called Isobel. He apologizes to Elena, but he had to.

She asks if he was able to find her. “Not exactly.”

UC!!

Out on some back road, Damon is playing the play-dead-in-the-middle-of-the-road game that Kathi – the Queen of Feel No Pain – taught him back in 1864. An unsuspecting chick named Jessica slows her car and gets out to check on him. She asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s lost. She points out that he’s lying in the middle of the road. Genius.

Damon: Not that kind of lost. Metaphorically. Existentially.
Jessica: Do you need help?

Damon: Well, yes, I do. Can you help me? *takes swig off flask*
Jessica: You’re drunk.
Damon: No. Yes. A little. Maybe. No, please don’t leave! I really do need help.

He vampspeeds to her side and grabs her to start compelling her, telling her not to move. She doesn’t want trouble. Neither does Damon, but “it’s all I got, is trouble.” He tells her that he has a secret, a BIG one.

Damon: And I never said it out loud. I mean, what’s the point? It’s not going to change anything. It’s not going to make me good. I’m not going to adopt a puppy. I can’t be what other people want me to be. What she wants me to be. This is who I am, Jessica.

Jessica: Are you going to hurt me?

Damon: I’m not sure. Because you are my existential crisis. Do I kill you? Do I not kill you?
Jessica: Please don’t.

Damon: But I have to, Jessica. Because I’m not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret. But there is only so much hurt a man can take.

Damon’s eyes are on the verge of tears, of madness, the entire time.

Jessica begs him again not to kill her.

He says okay, and compelling her, tells her that she’s free to go. As she’s running, trying to get in her car, Damon changes his mind and jumps on her, biting her. She slumps to the ground and we see Damon’s crazy vamp eyes.

THE END

OH, DAMON!!!!!

(All screencaps courtesy of crystalcaps at LiveJournal.)

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This entry was posted in 2.12 "The Descent", Alaric Saltzman, Caroline Forbes, Damon Salvatore, Elena Gilbert, Katherine Pierce, Magically Delicious, Matt Donovan, Matty/Peeta, Recaps, Season 2, Stefan Salvatore, Tyler Lockwood. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Episode 2.12 “The Descent”

  1. mak75231 says:

    Drink! NOW say this week’s Woobie Word of the Week “EXISTENTIALLY”. Much more authentic that way (maybe I shoulda said GUZZLE)!

    Serious moment. This. Was. Ian. Somerhalder’s. Episode. For all the whiners out there who say he gets too much attention…pffft! He doesn’t GET attention, he EARNS it. Many times over.

    MIAs this week included Katherine, Bonnie, Jeremy, Elijah, Jenna, Luka, Daddy Warlocks–but then we got Sheriff Mom back and *puke* Uncle John.

    PMS Jules (Post Moon Syndrome) decided to go sing “Kum-Bah-Yelp” with a bunch of campers after she missed her target at The SBH (maybe she needs Wolf Lasik–I mean, what female ANYTHING could miss Darkly Delicious Damon). Do werewolves just have a need to kill? She apparently doesn’t EAT any of them. Or maybe she’s on a diet–WAY too much protein. Just make a Human Body Shop (parts is parts). And she managed it without losing her clothes–not even going down the tied to her leg road. They were just handy.

    Before we see the title card, we already have the body count piling up, and then we come back to Shirtless Stefan. Elena has totes been on hiatus along with us, because she’s up for a little Morning Delight, but NO! Wet Blanket Stefan puts the damn shirt back on (who put saltpeter in his soccer mom?) and she LETS HIM! Girl, have you no hormones? Oh, I forgot, you’ve been playin Mambo Number Five with Stef (a little bit of Elena, a little bit of vervain–he’s gonna end up in rehab). Shots of bourbon with the Woobie would be MUCH more fun!

    Stefan’s obsessed with finding Mommy Dearest to “help”. Yea, right. Get back to me on how well THAT goes.

    Apparently later in the day (?) we see Doctor Damon prescribing 6 ounces of Soccer Mom and call me in the morning to Rose, who looks like she’s been pulled through a knothole backwards. He’s into lying through his fangs and diverting her attention from the fact that she’s about to die a nasty and miserable death–until he threatens to put her out of HIS misery! Elena shows up (where did she go? She was upstairs in the last scene?) and MD enlists her help in 1) nursing a dying psychopath, and 2) lying through her veneers about how great Rose looks. She coulda just said, ”Your back looks like shit! That‘s what you get for being f*&# buddies in my love triangle!”

    Elena really showed up to ask (she knows she has MD wrapped around her little…) for a Stefan Intervention regarding Mommy Dearest. He doesn’t say no, just that he agrees with Stef–WHAT? Where has all this Brotherly Unity come from? “And btw, I’m gonna go hunt down Jules, keep it down to a dull roar.”

    Then we get our first angry emo scene, with undertones of “Too bad you can’t remember I love you cause it’s killin me!” while Elena is pushin all the Woobie’s buttons. He fights like a trooper, too bad he wasn’t boozed up right then. Instead we get Death Happens–Get Over It–I Have. See ya!

    Ah, It’s UnBBQ Time In Mystic Falls

    Isn’t there usually smoke at an outdoor BBQ? *writer’s note–on the 6th or 7th airing of this ep I did actually see a coupla puffs of smoke right at the beginning–maybe just a cigar* At least they “talked” about the meat (hopefully not courtesy of Jules the Butcher).

    Car and Ty are having a friendly cheerleader-quarterback post-game victory celebration (like I said, Alert the Media, Tyler Smiles!). Then Car spills more beans about one bite and it’s curtains (she googled it, yea, right) and Matty returns! Caroline does her best, but Matty first makes her feel guilty about how honest she always is with him (lies!), and than plants a long wet one on her. She runs, again. She shoulda googled “confrontation”.

    Meanwhile at the Mystic Grill….

    Does Alaric ever teach or just hang out at the bar drinking? As half of Team Badass he must be drinkin for two (at least for the moment)..Good thing Stef caught him before his second round–just in time to ask him for his Undead Adulteress Former Wife’s number on behalf of her illegitimate doppelganger daughter. Wha? Oh, and fess up, you DID call the number, didn’t you?

    Meanwhile in DAMON’S BEDROOM (how long we have waited to hear that!)…

    Rose ThroughTheKnothole is busy being doing schizophrenic flu-bonding with Elena, while Elena’s busy scoping out the digs she’s only seen in her dreams (why else would she have imagined silk sheets, hmmm?). Awwww. Book about the burning of Atlanta on the beside table–musta been cold when the set decorators put that there! Romantically snarky! And btw, even if it IS a great big bed, there’s STILL more room on the floor!

    I do wish they hadn’t left that line from the promo on the cutting room floor, “It’s okay, you know. To love them both.” But Rose manages to get a lot of “Wake up, Sister!” in before she starts blathering about Trevah and horses and fields, and then starts violating MD’s bed and not in a good way! We drop into our first B-horror flick scene as Vamp-Eyes Rose goes after Elena (couldn’t she at least have used the word doppelganger–wait, we don’t have that square anymore, do we?). First rule of B-horror flicks, never leave the predator alone. Second rule, never trust the predator, no matter how much she begs you not to be scared of her–SHE’S NOT ALL RIGHT NOW!

    Meanwhile at the Mystic Grill….

    Damon arrives, all smoldering and angry, and sexy, and the last thing he needs is for Stef to try to calm him down by attempting yet another angry emo discussion about his friend-with-benefits’ demise. Oh, and btw don’t kill Jules right here, it might mess up the floor and Matty’s at the UnBBQ so can’t mop up.

    “I’m a bigger bitch than you are” is gonna be the death of Jules (hope, hope). She doesn’t really NEED a spleen, does she?. Where are we, Stake-and-Ale? That “Bite Me!”–well, I threw the remote at that point. CUNTBASKETDOUCHECANOEDEADMEAT

    Back at One Flew Inside The Cuckoo’s Nest

    Elena’s being all Florence Nightingale (those are rubber sheets this time, right?) when she shoulda been lookin for that vamp-muzzle antiquity that Katherine wore all those years ago. When Predator is missing yet again, she calls not Stef, her true love and protector, but Damon. I totes heard in my head, “Get your f*&king ass back here right now Bloodsucker, your screw buddy has her screw loose!”

    Much more B-horror flick chasing follows (watch out for the RNPM while you‘re throwing shit around in the basement! We need it!), eclipsed (no, I did NOT just use that word) with ripping open the curtains to expose the demon to the evils of UV-rays–and why she didn’t drag her (Go Into The Light, Rose) I’ll never know. The only really smart thing she did was jam those acrylics into that nasty wound–kinda made you sick, but effective.

    I’m wastin way too much time NOT talking about Woobie’s Wonderful Performance. So I cut to the chase…

    Elena didn’t fall for Rose’s apologies from the other side of the door, so Rose took off to partake of janitor and unknown dead couple at the UnBBQ. Wonder Woobie to the rescue (can you rescue the predator?)! While Elena watches, Damon has to calm Rabid Rose (hey, shit happens, you know?) and scoop her up to carry her away (ah, remember when he did that with Elena after the SUV crash?). Back in the Big Bad Beautyrest, Rose starts blathering The Truth, so MD has to get all pissy with Elena and demand that she leave.

    I know there’s not a lot of love in this group for the books, but Damon controlling Rose’s dying dream was totes a throwback! Such an emo scene, where MD can drop the act and mercy-kill the one that knows what he really wants. Idyllic and tragic at the same time–I still can’t even write about it! What a way to go!
    Cradled against his chest, with a stake poised at hers. And he’s CRYING . . . *sniff*

    After unceremoniously presenting The Body to Sheriff Mom (glad she’s mind-wiped back!) and slamming the trunk, who knows where he disposed of her? BUT, Elena is waiting at The SBH for his return. Here we go again…

    Angry emo back to the surface, Elena starts urging MD not to give up on his humanity. THAT flipped a switch! “All you’ve DONE is give up! Go home, Elena. I’ve had enough doom, gloom, and personal growth for one night.”

    But does she? NO, she has to torture The Woobie some more! He’s gonna need restuffing by the end of this ep! She just had to grab him in a full-body contact hug *sigh* and he has to keep it reigned in once again. Just put his head on Elena’s shoulder and allowed himself a few quiet sobs. Waaaaaaa!

    BRING ON THE BOOZE!

    When Life gives you lemons, go get a flask! Damon falls off both sides of the wagon (booze & blood) and resorts to Katherine’s old trick of playing road kill. Highly distraught, emotional, and . . . you guessed it . . . WASTED, road kill. He’s conflicted–does he or doesn’t he?–and he wants somebody to talk to! Or at! “I’m LOST!” (talk about “metaphorical“–you go writers) This scene was heartbreaking and fascinating to watch, and MD was EPIC! Torn up over Elena’s words about his humanity, regretting his loss of humanity, not knowing what to do, choking out the truth to his paralyzed prey…O.M.G. And just when you think he’s gonna “Be All That He Can Be” and let her go—dun, dun, dun–vamp-speed sacrifice.

    Bloodied and tortured, face filled with pain and remorse, we heard the music play “Who’s next?”

    *I just got goosebumps writing that*

    Final Thoughts for the Week

    Lighten up! We can all mark the DAMON IS SHIRTLESS square in advance–you know it! And can I volunteer for towel duty at The SBH (Room Service–Towel sir?)?

  2. J says:

    Wow this was the first anti-Tyler/Caroline review I’ve read. Interesting.

    • Cin Salvatore says:

      Huh. That’s kinda shocking, because in our mind everyone should be anti-Tyoline. But we know they aren’t. It’s puzzling actually. People can have whatever opinions they like, that’s fine. But don’t look for us to change our stripes anytime soon. We are the anti-wolf blog. And proud. LOL

      • Sophie says:

        Thank god someone sees wolves for what they are:
        normal people with an annoying rage problem, LAME – now vampires, on the other hand, there is the sexy biting, the control thing….Damon…I’m sure you see my point

  3. rehabber says:

    I think werewolves, remove their clothes before they turn so they have something to come back to. Mason did that and his pants were in the truck, so maybe the skank does the same thing. I want Damon to be the one to kill her and I want her to see it coming. Always enjoy reading your take on the show.
    My bumper sticker reads: The Vampire Diaries…….Damon Rules.

  4. Izzy says:

    I’m as anti-Jules as you can get and completely pro the SBH but LADIES your wolf-hate makes me feel sad inside – like Damon looks before the DEARS come out to play. Is it possible to feel even a speck of happy for the Forwood?

    • Cin Salvatore says:

      Nope. Sorry. The very thought of *gack* ‘The Forwood’ makes us want to barf. We have zero wolf love. That won’t change. Strap in, because the from every spoiler we’ve heard, it’s going to be angry days going into S3. But hey, angry is fun. For us anyway. 😉

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