Episode 205 “Kill or Be Killed”

Episode 205 “Kill or Be Killed”

Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Katherine is back and forces Stefan to have trippy flashback-dreams. As revenge for toying with his emotions, he holds her prisoner in the basement of the SBH and tries to torture information out of her. That’s the badass Stefan we all know and love! Across town, Damon & Alaric have Jenna throw a BBQ-less BBQ so they can prove UM is a werewolf. But both plans backfire! Damon makes an enemy out of UM, and Katherine escapes. OH NOES!

And we start off in another flashback –

UM is in a bar in Florida, a year ago. Some shaggy-haired guy is super angry because UM has been creepin’ with his girl. He shoves him and UM takes the bait for the fight, natch.

Kicking and punching and shoving and tackling and bashing heads in ensues. WHAT? Oops. UM doesn’t know his own strength!

Going by the pool of blood by his head, I’m going to guess that he’s dead. Yep.

Back to the present, UM is telling this story to Tyler. Tyler’s all “Wait, the guy died? You killed him?” UM explains “He kept comin’ at me. And he got it in his head I was sleeping with his girlfriend.”

“Were you?” Haha, Tyler. We’re not so sure either. UM explains that this was what triggered the curse for him. Now, at every full moon, UM loses control if he doesn’t sedate himself and strap himself down. Duct tape, boy. It’s every Drag Queen’s best friend.

He earnestly explains “All it takes is an accident, a car wreck, any death at your hands, and you’ll have a lifetime of this. You don’t want it, Tyler. Trust me.”


And thus, UM wants to know where the moonstone is. Tyler pretends like he doesn’t know. But he welcomes UM to look for it in his dad’s hiding spot in the floor. Big surprise, it’s not there.

Though there is a wad of cash. What? I notice these things. Tyler tries to get him to tell him why the moonstone is so important to him. UM maintains that it just has sentimental value, but Tyler doesn’t buy that. We don’t either, cupcake.

Over at la Casa de Gilbert, Jeremy’s back. He’s talking to Elena about how he can’t believe Tyler is a werewolf.

Elena stops her make-up applying to correct — they don’t know that; they only know that UM is. Jeremy demands to know everything we learned during the week while he was nowhere to be seen. He wants to know what “we” can do.

Elena corrects him – there is no “we” because he is not involved. He tries to argue the whole “but we’re family” thing and wants her to let him in on it, but again, like she always does, Elena would rather not. She’s trying to keep him ignorant and safe. Because that never backfires on anyone ever. That goes double if your name is Elena Gilbert.*sigh*


Stefan sneaks up on her and goes in for the kiss but wait! She reminds him they’re playing a game.

She has to close the door before they can smooch it up. And they hug and aww, I feel all warm and fuzzy.

Stefan: You ready for today?
Elena: No. I hate fighting with you. Even if it’s fake.

Stefan explains that they have to. If Kathi thinks it’s fake, it’ll make her think she’s winning, and it will be all the easier for them to beat her.

He reassures her that everything will be okay; it’s the best way to keep Kathi from hurting anyone, least of all Elena. They decide that during their public fake up today (which they know Car will eavesdrop and report back to Kathi), when Stefan says “I can’t do this anymore, Elena” it means “I love you.”

When Elena says “fine, Stefan. Whatever.” she really means “I love you too.”

Awwww, code!

Over at the Forbes’ residence, Sheriff Mom is packing for the Historical Society Volunteer Picnic. Caroline asks what she’s doing, and Sheriff Mom reminds her that Car is the one that signed her up for this.

Caroline asks if she’s going to “pretend to be a mother now.”

Sheriff Mom explains that she’s been buried in work lately, and she wants to be motherly. Caroline is basically all “fine!” but warns her that she’s in a mood. Sheriff Mom asks why Elena was there so late the night before and because it was TOTES Kathi, Caroline is confused for a second.

After she recovers, she tells Sheriff Mom that Elena and Stefan are going through a bit of a rough patch.

Then Sheriff Mom asks if Caroline is okay because she’s sure been weird lately. “You think I don’t notice these things, but I do. What’s going on with you?” Aww, motherly instinct! But Caroline, suddenly on alert is all “you know, there’s pretending to be a mother, and then there’s reality. Let’s not push our luck, okay?”

Ooh, burn!

Construction/volunteering montage!

Over at the picnic, Carol Lockwood explains that everyone here is on the site of the newest public park. Many thanks to the Fell family for the donation of the land.

With Carol still in the background, Stefan approaches UM at his truck.

He explains that he’s here for a truce, to give an apology for how Damon acted the night before.

But it doesn’t seem like UM is interested.

Stefan explains that Damon acted impulsively. If they all keep at each other’s throats, it’ll only end badly. Why don’t they “quit the whole alpha male fighting thing?”

Stefan, just put him down already, sheesh! But Stefan continues. He’s there to make sure no one makes any mistakes.

UM: Just tell your brother to watch his back.

Stefan: Well I’m guessing that he only has to worry about that during a full moon. Otherwise you’re not as strong. Amiright?

Oh snap! He then tells UM that there’s one of him and two of them and that he’s the one who needs to be watching his back. Bad Ass.

UM: If he comes at me…
Stefan: He won’t.

And they shake hands.


Damon sneaks up on his brother. “What are you doing?” Stefan’s all “Negotiating peace on your behalf.” Damon obvs doesn’t approve.

He, comically, whines “oh, but I don’t want peace!” Hahaha. Stefan’s all “well, then, consider it opposite day” Hee. I love their brotherly interactions!

Stefan thinks that UM is going to try to kill them the first chance he gets because Damon tried to kill him.

So thank you, Damon — “’cause we don’t have enough problems.” Harsh.

Over at the Mystic Grill, some late-twenties-looking high school student is checking out the Jerm.

Amy (remember her? She was all makey-outy with Tyler even though she likes Matt?) is all

“Oh, no. Stay away; that guy is damaged goods.”

Damaged goods? He’s like 15! *sigh*

Over at the Damaged Goods table, Jeremy is eye-balling Tyler at the next table. He approaches the table and tries to make nicey-nice.

Tyler is a typical Lockwood Douche, but apologizes. He thanks Jer for being so nice to him at his father’s wake. Awww, dead parents & slutty bedmates bonding. It’s kinda sweet.

But then to ruin it, Amy and Skankface come over to the table. Amy grossly thanks Tyler for the text, and they decide to go over to Lockwood Manor for some good old-fashioned teenage fun. Tyler invites Jeremy, who eagerly accepts, and they’re off.

Back at the picnic, UM has approached Sheriff Mom.

He wants to talk to her about the Council. Sheriff Mom pretends not to know about the Council because apparently the first rule of the Founding Families’ Council is you do not talk about the Founding Families’ Council.

But UM has info: there are two vampires living in MF, right under Sheriff Mom’s nose. Who? None other than the beloved Salvatores! NO! SAY IT AIN”T SO!

Sheriff Mom’s all “that’s impossible. I know Damon Salvatore.” She insists that he’s a hero and all that good stuff, but UM’s all “think about it.

When did the vampire attacks begin?” – One sec. I totes originally thought he said “when did the Vampire Tax begin?” and I was all “No taxation without representation!” at the television because I’m a huge nerd – it was when the Salvatores showed up.

Sheriff Mom insists that they can’t be – they walk in the sun! But UM insists that it’s been a while; they’ve simply evolved. Evolved, Smevoled! Idiot! Hello – bedazzled over here! Jeesh!

Sheriff Mom: Damon Salvatore is my eye-candy friend.
UM: What if I can prove it to you?


Over on the other side of the picnic, Caroline is explaining how her mom is suddenly gunning for the Mother of the Year award. Ugh! Don’t you hate when they do that?!

Car apologizes to Elena for rambling, and asks Elena if she’d heard from Stefan lately, to which Elena replies, “no, not since the fight.”

She explains that Stefan thinks that if they stay together, Katherine will get so jealous she’ll hurt her, and she can’t change his mind of that fact. Caroline actually agrees with FakeupStefan.

Katherine IS dangerous. Elena’s all “I know he’s trying to protect me, but it feels like giving up. I thought we were stronger than that.” THEY ARE TOO GOOD AT THIS FAKE FIGHTING SHIT!

Back at Sheriff Mom’s lemonade station, Damon has come to snoop about why she was talking to UM.

She explains it was just to get him on clean-up duty in the woods. Damon insists that that’s what he’s here for: “put me to work!” Fact: Damon/MD should ALWAYS wear blue. Any shade. It doesn’t matter. Just sayin’.

Exhibit A

Sheriff Mom is acting odd, though. Damon asks her if she’s okay, and she tries to play it off on the fight she had with Caroline earlier.

He asks if there’s anything he can do. She declines, but looks really upset.

Hmm, me thinks it’s not about Caroline. But I think Damon might believe her judging by that confused, longing-to-help look he gives her

as she stalks away with tears in her eyes.

Back with Elena and Caroline, Elena “suddenly” spots Stefan doing some sexy carpentry work.

She “decides” she’s going to talk to him, but Caroline tries to stop her.

Elena goes over anyway, and Damon approaches. He wants to know what’s eating her (hehe, vampire joke), but Car tells him not to worry about it.

So, moving on, Damon straight-up asks her why she’s being a bitch to her mom. “Don’t worry about it,” she says again.

Over at Stefan’s work station, there’s a little play going on called “Stefan and Elena: The Fakeup, Part II.”

Elena: Do you still care about Katherine?

Stefan: Don’t do this. Please, don’t turn this into something that it’s not.

Ooh. Ouch. And he even looks annoyed. Double points for Stefan, and I’m going to go nurse my fragile heart back to health. But wait, there’s more.

Elena: So this is not up for discussion. That’s what you’re saying?

Stefan: No, I’m saying this isn’t up for discussion right now because we have ears on us.

And he’s right.

Through keen ears, Damon and Caroline are listening to every word.

When Elena looks over at them, they both turn their heads like they’re not riveted.

Ha! Elena asks when they can talk, but Stefan brushes her off.

Elena: I saw her, Stefan. It’s like we’re the same person. How can you hate her and be in love with me?

Stefan: You’re reaching. I’m not… I’m not Damon.

First of all, this sounds very familiar. Second, way harsh, dude. Don’t hate on the Woobie. And now it’s time for the finale. Stefan’s all, “I can’t do this, Elena,” and Elena’s all “Fine, Stefan. Whatever.” And… I remember the code, but they just look WAY too hurt for this to be completely fake.

The look on Stefan’s face when he watches her walk away.

I mean, damn. These two should try out for drama club! And also a couple’s therapist. Just for good measure.

Damon: Relationships are all about communication.


Over at Lockwood Manor, Skankface, whose name is Sarah, is dancing for Jeremy,

and… trying to be flirty, I guess.

Amy takes Tyler aside and thanks him for inviting them over. Sarah, apparently (really?! No!) has a thing for Jeremy. Tyler’s like “Well. Good for Sarah.” Oh, Tyler, my sentiments exactly. Amy then apologizes for “slutting it up” with him over at the ruins the other night. Tyler accepts the apology and they clink glasses over awkward teenage friendships.

In the other room, Sarah, just SNATCHES Jer’s sketchbook from his backpack and asks to see his drawings. Tyler wants to see too, “let’s see what Van Gogh’s got going on.” So Jeremy flips through the pages for everyone. And EVERY SINGLE DRAWING is of a wolf.

Jeremy, buddy… that is the most blatantly obvious artistic attempt since last season when all your drawings were of vampires, natch.

Tyler is NOT amused. Jeremy asks him if he still draws, and Tyler says he does. In fact, he’s got something he’s working on in the other room he’d really like to show him.

Jer’s all “Oh, okay!” and follows Tyler into an office. While he’s searching the piles of paper on the desk for said unfinished drawing, Tyler hurries up to him, slams him into the wall and puts in him in chokehold!

Jeremy! Seriously! This is like chokehold number 3 for you this season, bro! Tyler demands to know what those pictures are about – why are all his drawings of wolves. Jeremy, despite the fact that he can’t breathe, manages to croak out “because I know.”

Tyler lets go and demands to know what. “I know what you are.”

Back at the picnic (which seems to be the only attendance-optional event this town has ever had. I mean, seriously. Where’s Matty/Peeta? Tyler’s absent, Jeremy. Bonnie. Haven’t seen Jenna or Alaric either, though we’re pretty sure they’re off getting their NC-17 on, so we’ll forgive them for that), a little girl in a cute plaid shirt hands UM a cup of lemonade.

Damon approaches. “Hello, Mason. Working hard, or hardly working?” Okay, so he doesn’t say that last part. He tells him that he knows he met Stefan.

UM: Nice guy.

Damon: Yeah, a lot nicer than me.
UM: Well, nice is overrated.

Damon: That’s what I think!

Hehe. I love this fake-nicey-nice that Damon’s putting on. Actually, I’d be willing to bet somewhere Damon Salvatore has a PhD in Fakey-Play-Nice from Awesome University. UM walks away, and Stefan approaches him, begging him to tell him they were bonding. Heh.

Damon doesn’t even answer, and instead changes to subject. He wants to know what’s up with Stefan and Elena’s “fauxdrama.” Stefan pretends he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,

and when Damon points out that he was mentioned in their (Non)FauxFight, Stefan tells him to drop it.

Just then, the sweet little girl offers a cup of lemonade to Damon, who graciously accepts it and downs it on the spot.


VERVAIN! The lemonade was spiked!

As Damon doubles over in pain/agony,

Sheriff Mom looks on in horror. Oh, Liz, what have you done?

Over by a waterfall, Elena is a fake (real?) mourning. Caroline has come to check on her.

“Are you okay?” “Nope.”

Caroline suggests that maybe it’s for the best, but Elena snaps at her that it’s not. Elena’s all, “I’m sorry. I know you’re just being a good friend.”

Caroline starts to get into how she’s not when she spots Sheriff Mom leaving the premises.

Because her mom’s apparently not allowed to change locations as she sees fit, Caroline decides to investigate.

Sheriff Mom is on the phone with someone (probably one of her Deputy Do-rights) to get them to come meet her at the entrance to the picnic area.

She hangs up just as Caroline reaches her and turns on the bitch again. Sheriff Mom apologizes, but apparently that’s what Caroline wanted. She knows something’s up.

Back at the lemonade stand, Stefan seems to be the only one who notices that Damon is still coughing and sputtering over the Vervainade.

Damon is ready to kill and is all “he’s gonna die, brotha!”

but Stefan settles him.

Damon: He is dead. This PC peace crap.

Stefan: I agree. Trying to expose us in public. I don’t like it. He has to go down.

YES! THAT’S what I’m talking about! Damon is a little shocked,

but quickly recovers.

They spot UM and take off after him.

On the other side of the picnic area, Caroline is honing her super-hearing and awesome skills to find out what’s going on.

She’s sensing something is amiss – something with Damon and Stefan –  but can’t quite figure out what it is.

Back in the woods, Stefan and Damon have caught up with UM.

As they’re confronting him,

someone from off-screen starts SHOOTING THEM WITH WOODEN BULLETS!

It’s Sheriff Mom and her deputies of doom!

She quickly injects each brother with a syringe of vervain.

Oh, no.

Back at the Lockwood Manor, Jeremy explains that he knows about the werewolf curse because he read about it in one of his ancestor’s journals that UC left lying around. Lies! And then Matt got attacked by one in the woods under a full moon right after UM arrived. Uh-huh. Sure.

Jeremy asks if it’s true about UM, is he a werewolf? Tyler confirms that it is, but that’s he’s not. Not yet, at least.

Tyler: Just saying that out loud, I sound insane.
Jeremy: I don’t think so. Then again, I always believed in the crazy stuff.

Did you, Jeremy? Because if I recall you had to BING (product placement!) “vampires.” Anyway, Tyler goes on to explain that he has to cause a death, then “boom, next full moon I’m howling on all fours.” UM, he continues, isn’t there for him. He’s there for the moonstone.

Back in the woods, the Deputies of Doom have carried the Salvatores into the underground prison.

Sheriff Mom thanks UM for his help, but tells him to leave since she’s going to kill them – an act that goes along with the Council’s rules, but not the law, and she doesn’t want him to be a part of it.

Reluctantly, he leaves.

Caroline stops them in a clearing, and spots some blood.

They’ve been through here.

Just then UM comes out and taunts them. Elena asks if he’s seen Stefan. “Oh, I’ve seen him alright,” UM douches at them. He then asks Caroline if her mommy knows what she is because he’d be glad to tell he. When Caroline tries to take a step toward him, he grabs Elena in a chokehold!

UM: Don’t be stupid. Necks snap easy around here.

UM, you are the douchiest douchenozzle in all of Doucheville, but that was kind of funny.

Caroline: I can take you.

UM: Wanna bet?
Caroline: Yeah. I do.

Fact: Always bet on Vamp Caroline! In a second, she has him in a chokehold,

throws him to the ground, and kicks him into a tree.

UM, you are SO Caroline’s bitch now! Ha! Then very sweetly, and ever so nonchalantly, Caroline tells Elena to come on.

Back in the Pit of Despair, Sheriff Mom is getting a little trigger-happy and won’t stop shooting Damon in the kneecaps.

She needs to quit that, though, because it’s fucking with Cin’s calm FOR REALZ! No one, and I mean no one, messes with our Damon! Sheriff Mom wants to know how he fooled everyone.

He won’t/can’t answer though because he’s WRITHING in pain! Sheriff Mom tries to take a shot at Stefan instead, trying to evoke brotherly love or some shit, but he doesn’t move.

Oh, no.

Back in the woods, Caroline has stopped again.

She can hear her mother talking. Sheriff Mom’s talking about killing the brothers.

Elena tries to pull her toward trouble again, but Caroline stops.

She can’t; her mother will find out about her.

Elena doesn’t care, so she runs down the stairs alone. DANGER DANGER!!!

Sheriff Mom is giving her deputies the final kill orders on both of the Salvatores them just as Elena makes her entrance, trying to whack one deputy with a 2×4.

Just as Sheriff Mom is asking if anyone else is with her, Caroline whisks in, and swooshes around,

snacking on one deputy then using him as a human shield – which, gotta admit, that shit’s like Sayid Jarah level badassery – while the other deputy pumps him full of wooden bullets.

WOW! After settling for a second, huffing and puffing in the corner with her fruit punch mouth,

Caroline slowly approaches her mom, who looks horrified.

“Hi, Mom.” Oh, snap! Commercials!

When we return, Damon and Stefan are now awake.

Damon is snacking on a nearby dead deputy while Stefan is wheezing like a kid without an inhaler.

Elena is trying to comfort him, but it’s not doing much good.

Damon: You need to drink some deputy blood.

Stefan declines, and Caroline tries to convince him.

“If there’s ever a time to break your diet…” but Elena argues that he said he doesn’t want it.

Standing up, Damon points out that this is an unfortunate situation.

Two deputies are dead, and Sheriff Mom, well what is Damon going to do with you?

Caroline wants to make sure she’s not going to tell anyone, but Sheriff Mom ignores her. She tries to get her to talk by threatening that Damon will kill her. But Sheriff Mom obvs sees this as an opportunity. Ignoring Caroline’s heartbreaking squeal of a plea, Sheriff Mom is all

“Then kill me. I can’t take this. Kill me, now.”

Damon considers her for a moment, before grabbing her collar and damn near slamming her against the wall!

Damon: But we were going to drag it out so painfully.

Everyone screams at him not to kill her, and he tells them to relax.

He’s not killing anyone. Besides, she’s his friend.

Oh, Damon. I think you need to reign in your feelings a little better. Not that I’m complaining. But he’s going to out the fact that he has a heart!

Just me, or is he really upset at Sheriff Mom’s attitude toward her daughter? I think Damon and Caroline should date. Seriously. Cin and I are both riding the DamCar express straight to Sexy Town! I mean, we’re hard-pressed to find something to make us love Matty/Peeta more, but for release and practicality – DamCar FTW! In the words of one of our readers DJ: “That way, Stefan and Elena can stay boring together and go ride to the top of Ferris Wheel, and Damon and Caroline can go off and own the world.” They totes would! Anyway, where was I. Ah, yes…

Back at Lockwood Manor, Tyler is explaining the supposed supernatural stories behind the moonstone.

Jeremy wants to know why he didn’t just give it to UM. “Because he wants it. I’m a dick that way.”

TRUTH! Tyler knows it’s important to him for some reason, but he doesn’t trust him. We don’t either! The girls (yeah, remember them? They came over for drinks and sexy time?) burst into the room whining about how the boys are missing all the drinking. Floozies. Amy apologizes, making a face, and wonders if they were having “a moment.”

Tyler gives her a “fuck you, you stupid bitch” look and says no they weren’t. Hee. Oh, Tyler. I think I kind of like you in this episode!

Skankface, or Sarah, or whatever her name was snatches the moonstone from Tyler’s paw and starts what’s supposed to be an elaborate coy game of keep-away.

She heads upstairs with it – wanting Jeremy to come up with her, so she can show him just how bad a drunk she can be. To which he politely declines. Haha! Oh, my sides! – and Tyler follows her up. He tries to wrench it from her fingers – AND ACCIDENTALLY TOSSES HER DOWN THE STAIRS!

Oh, Sweet Werewolf! But she’s fooling. Damn! Everyone is relieve she’s alive an unscathed, but judging by the look on Tyler’s face… he’s a little disappointed.

I kind of am too. Just sayin’.

Over at the SBH, Caroline comes in carrying a suitcase.

Oh! Is she moving in?! I wish someone would have told us. We’d have cleared a room! Oh, no. It’s for her mother. She apologizes to Elena for taking so long, but she didn’t know how long Sheriff Mom was going to stay. Elena explains that Damon says it should only take three days tops for the vervain to leave her system. Maybe sooner. Just long enough for Damon to compel her to forget all this happened. She escorts her to the basement where they’re keeping Sheriff Mom. On the way, Stefan joins them.

Caroline: Hey, you get some bunny in you?
Stefan: Yeah, I feel much better.


Downstairs S. Mom is calling in sick to work. Damon explains the sitch to her, and just as Caroline is about to bound around the corner with the suitcase like a good daughter,

Sheriff Mom makes one request: “Can you keep Caroline away from me, please? I don’t want to see her.” But Damon sees her already.

Damon: She’s your daughter, Liz.

Sheriff Mom: Not anymore. My daughter’s gone.

Damon: You have no idea how wrong you are about that.

Caroline lays down the suitcase and runs out.

Stefan goes to follow her, but gets distracted by Damon’s supply of Soccer Mom-in-a-Bag.

Elena spots him and asks what he’s doing. He explains that Kathi built up an immunity to iocane power vervain by taking little sips everyday. Why can’t he do the same with human blood? Elena protests that he can’t.

Stefan: I almost died tonight, Elena, because I was too weak.

He has to. This is how he’ll overpower Katherine. Right now he’s too weak, but if he has the blood, he’ll be stronger, and he’ll be able to protect us. Elena wants to talk about it later, but Stefan won’t budge. Damon can hear them right now BECAUSE he drinks that stuff. Like a true addict, Stefan pleads: “This is the only thing that can help me!”

Elena doesn’t believe him, and is (for some reason) angry about this. She can’t tell if he’s pretend fighting or not, but he insists that it’s real. This seems to upset her more, and she runs off.

Upstairs, Caroline is all forlorn on the couch.

Elena offers to drive her home, but Car doesn’t want to. She’s scared. She’s scared that Kathi will be there, and she’ll want Car to tell her everything.

She made her spy on Elena, and she’s going to want a full report. Elena tells her, though, that she knows. At first she was afraid, she was petrified mad, but then she tried to think of how she’d react in her position especially since Stefan has been such a friend to Caroline lately.

Elena: Who did she threaten?

Caroline: Matty/Peeta!
Christina & Cin: OH, NO SHE DI’N’T!!

Caroline confides in Elena that she’s scared, and Elena agrees that she should be. Caroline just wants to know what Katherine wants. Girl, don’t we all!

Back at Lockwood Manor, UM is leaving Sheriff Mom a voicemail. He just wants to make sure that everything went okay earlier.

Tyler walks in just as he finishes. “I almost killed a girl today.” UM is all fake-horrified. Tyler explains that it was an accident and she was okay, but for a split second, he had hoped she’d died. TOLD YOU! But then he realized that he doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want to feel like that again. UM understands, apparently, so Tyler gives him the moonstone.

And gives a really creepy smile now that he has it in his grubby mitts.

Back at the SBH, Elena lets Damon know that Caroline is sleeping on the couch. Elena tells him that what he did for Caroline’s mom – the whole not killing her, and helping her out with the compelling – was nice. It’s something the Damon she was friends with would do.

Aww, mending friendships! She turns to leave, but Damon stops her.

“Stefan didn’t drink the people-blood, if you were curious. But he needs to. Deep down, you know that.” Elena actually listens to him and goes to talk to Stefan.

Elena: Do you really think you can control it?
Stefan: I don’t know. But if I don’t try…

Elena seems to understand. So it’s just a few drops every day? Yep, just enough for him to have some in his system so he gets used to it. It’s worth trying.

To his surprise, Elena agrees, but she doesn’t want him going at it alone. She picks up a letter-opener that could be a dagger just laying on the table and stabs her hand.

It’s her and Stefan, and she offers him the wound. He chows down like MAYBE 2 tablespoons, and his eyes go all crazy vamp for a second,

and I think he’s going to straight up attack her, but he reels it in. And they kiss full on make-out like they’re dying.

And the scene fades out right when IT’S TIME FOR THE SEX! *sigh* Why do they NOT want us to get that #vdbingo square?!

Out in the woods, UM is getting into a mysterious Aston Martin.

Driven by Katherine! OMIGOD! So, he was ALREADY Kathi’s bitch. Figures. Tool.

And we flashback to the night UM killed someone.

Katherine rushes up, and since they apparently know each other, asks what happened. He explains it was an accident. They were fighting b/c the guy thought he hit on Marla. Katherine is all “why would he think that?” And the pieces come together for ol’ Christina. Kathi TOTES compelled the guy to think that, just SO he would pick a fight, just SO UM would kill him! Ahhh! HER EVIL KNOWS NO BOUNDS!

UM continues: “He’s dead; I killed him,” and they hug for her to comfort him. Honey, there ain’t no comfort in those black widow arms.

Back in the present, Kathi wants to know about the stunt that he pulled earlier with Stefan and Damon. She doesn’t want him to hurt them. He needs to just focus on getting the moonstone. UM, like a proud little boy, shows her that he got the moonstone already.

And then they kiss make out like they’re dying – which UM may have a death sentence already.

But holy crap Nina Dobrev has the best job ever! I’m not a UM fan by any means, but damn. Also, this scene would have been infinitely cooler had Damon been eavesdropping from the woods. ENDING TITLE CARD!

So, what did you think? What’s Katherine going to do with the stone? Will Tyler finally kill someone and turn into a werewolf, too? Will Stefan go crazy junkie on us? Will this DamCar express ever make it to its destination?! Put your thoughts below!

(All screencaps courtesy of hotn-caps.com)

This entry was posted in 2.05 - "Kill or Be Killed", Caroline Forbes, Damon Salvatore, Elena Gilbert, Eyecandy, Ian Somerhalder, Katherine Pierce, Magically Delicious, Mystic Falls, Nina Dobrev, Paul Wesley, Pic of the Day, Recaps, Season 2, Stefan Salvatore and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Episode 205 “Kill or Be Killed”

  1. rehabber says:

    I have very mixed emotions about DamCar, because I want Delena, but they are so cute together and I would not be to upset. These writers just pack so much tension in each ep, I love it. When UM was calling Liz to see if every thing went OK, I was telling him, YOU ARE SO DEAD.

    Have seen the promo from the next 2 eps and dang almost 2 weeks is just to long to wait. HA, the Emmys had True Blood up for best drama, and it does not hold a candle to TVD. One reason I don’t watch the Emmys.

  2. mak75231 says:

    Today’s sponsor is the Woobie Word of the Week–unanimous decision–THREADCOUNT! Anytime MD talks about sheets…….

    Props to the SBH for great pics this week–we didn’t even have to watch the ep! Just move your mouse REEAALLYYY fast!

    If you didn’t think so before (what are you, DENSE?) UM is totes a whoredog. A year ago he’s sleepin with Kathi, Mr. Permanent Migraine’s woman, and who knows who else. Is everybody vaccinated? Got Parvo shots? Did Kathi compel all those witnesses, or does UM have a GetOutOfJailFree ring?

    You laid me out with the Duct tape–such a Y chromosome fixer-upper! And didja notice that wad of cash in the floor was topped off by Bennies? Show me the money!

    I was just waitin for Elena to respond to Jerm’s “we” comment with something about a mouse in her pocket–woops, not a good idea around Stefan! And the Indian Code Talking? Methinks they should have plotted it out more–because they’re not buyin it any more than we are! Beat Kathi? At her own game? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to do the math: it’s all about experience. Here’s a mini hierarchy:
    Bottom rung–any mortal (GetOutOfDeathFreeRing helps) (unused werewolf genes don’t count..yet)
    Second rung–Baby vamp–Caroline
    Third rung–One-year old supernatural–UM
    Fourth rung–Two-year old vamp–Isobel
    Fifth rung–162-168 hot mess–Damon and Stefan (Pass the Fifth of HB, please)
    Sixth rung–666–Kathi (I decided on that number when they weren’t telling us anything cause it just, well, suited her!) Now Car gets a bump up over UM because even as a babe she’s got the drop on him.–He had the “kneed” for “treed”–and in heels, no less!

    But Stefan seems to think they can “beat Katherine”? She’s been there, done that, has the t-shirt, the matchbook cover, the candy condoms, the Uzi AND the FMPs…They’re gonna need more than Buff: The Vampire Slayers talkin in code to outsmart her!

    When Stefan walked up to intro himself (grovel) to UM at the superfluous community project, I totes heard, “Stefan, right? The Other White Meat.” Had to rerun it–I watch too much TV! And by the end of their confab, he totes turned BAMF! I just LOVE it when Damon zooms up on someone, even Stef–MD! Now, boys, don’t fight. They actually were pretty united this ep. We need to see more of that, plz.

    The schmmoozie slutfaces were just a plot plant to get Jerm and Ty to communicate–and to expose Ty’s deep-seated need for fur. Grow a set, Ty! You know you want it!

    Vampire Tax! ROFL I’m thinkin Rose Suchack Ladder (The Santa Clause)–BRAIN DOUCHE!

    MD in any shade of blue, hmmmmmm [red, green, purple, nothing…….] Oh, Lord, I’m as bad as Rehabber (who said U R WORSE!)

    Speaking of MD (my favorite subject)–he totes got his own tables turned on himself this ep. Way back when he was playin Sheriff Mom like a Stradivarius. She didn’t want to believe UM–do not spoil the Dream Factory! Mama’s hot for sloppy seconds! Where was she when DamCar was testin the hemi on “several” occasions in Caroline’s bedroom during Season 1? Oh, yea, ‘he’s too old for you [but not too young for me]’ when she disapproved of Car bringing him to the Founder’s Kickoff–but that was before MD worked his magic on her! But NO, she had to go and spike the lemonade (hoping UM was wrong)—AAACCCCKKK! VEEEERRRRVVVVAAAAIIINNNNN!

    And how cute was DamCar eavesdropping on the FakeUp? “Oh, Caroline, I think you missed a spot!“ Bwaaahhhaaaaaa Relationships are all about communication. And body fluids.

    Can you get a PhD in Fakey-Play-Nice from Awesome University over the internet? Dr. MD–I like that! Lol

    And wouldn’t you just know it? The minute our two heroes bond to embark on The Mission To End UM–Curses! Foiled Again! Thanks for the sleepin Damon pic (such a Woobie shot)–you edited out the bullet holes!

    The Pit of Despair had me completely unhinged. I’m repeatin my comment from The Morning After, cause it bears repeating: NOBODY PUMPS WOOD BULLETS INTO THE WOOBIE’S KNEECAPS AND GETS AWAY WITH IT ON MY WATCH, BITCH! I DON’T CARE HOW “FRIENDLY” YOU ARE!

    Whew! Had to get that outa my system again!

    Stefan was WAY gone in the Pit of Despair, and I think SM (Sheriff Mom, S&M, hmmm) DID evoke the brotherly love thing, even if Damon was in pain–the head roll was vaguely reminiscent of the Anna death scene–Damon just doesn’t want anyone to know he has feelings–including himself! Fling that highball in the fireplace! (Um, could someone at the SBH please come clean up this mess?)

    The pics of Car zooming around the Pit of Despair were EPIC! My eyes didn’t even work that fast! When is the appropriate moment to tell your Mom you eat people? At least SM didn’t spit on her thumb and try to clean Car’s face in public!

    SM: “Kill me now!” After all, my fantasies are completely shattered….for the time being. Until Damon compels me to forget who I am, easier done than said.

    Well, The Heart of Darkness took over again–even after some 98.6—well, 96.8–they’d been dead a few minutes and it WAS a cold, clammy cellar. Nope, not killin my “friend”. He has them all SO SNOWED! They just expect him to snap at any moment! Back at the torture chamber/vervain hothouse–(better have a sep room for SM or she’ll be getting ideas–maybe a mine in Chili would be safer), Damon’s all about the mother-daughter fix-up. He was sellin, SM wasn’t buyin. Poor Car! Nobuddy loves her (hint: stay with your REAL friends)! And I TOTES called it last week–I KNEW Kathi had threatened Matty/Peeta to get to Car! I’m takin one point for that (goes against my deficit).

    Hey, if Car was so afraid she’d run into Kathi if she went home, how did she get the suitcase full of SM’s stuff? Does she keep clean undies in the Squad Car?

    There was absolutely no good reason for Ty to give up the Bath N Body Works. Especially when no one know what it does except Kathi. And now she’s got it back–HO!

    Damon is redeeming himself in Elena’s eyes–guess she’s usin the D-word again. She never makes a decision and sticks to it–he’ll be back to the “eye thing” and invading her personal space in no time!

    Kathi’s been snortin vervain for 145 years–does Stefan really think that 2 tablespoons of Elena, once a day, for a week is gonna give him a fighting chance? He and Damon need to bud up and got get a WHOLE soccer team! What’re all those unused football players from MF High doin, anyway. Maybe Matty/Peeta could get together a scrimmage! “Refreshments at tonight’s game will be provided by…..YOU!”

    I think The SBH is gonna have to make that square TIME FOR THE ALMOST SEX, or we’re gonna have to move to a later time slot!

    Kathi ate James Bond! Where’d she get his car? Oh, well, she came over on the Mayflower–helped keep the rat population down. Ever wonder why so many Indians died in the New World? Kathi may have compelled Mr. Permanent Migraine to think UM was shakin his bacon, but you know he really was! Douchenozzle. Tool is the perfect word.

    You are so right about the Kiss of the Spiderwoman scene being more epic with Damon snooping in the woods! REWRITE!

    Oh, and since I haven’t said it nearly enough—WOOBIE!

    Final Thought for The Week

    Do werewolves have hairy palms?

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