Previously on The Vampire Diaries Season One… Part III
Welcome to the last installment of our Season One recaps! We’re now in the home stretch. Where we are now: The Salvatores are vampires. Damon turned Elena’s ex’s sister, and Stefan killed her. Elena was kidnapped by a vamp and fed on by another. But don’t worry, the brothers saved her. Jeremy has a new girl pal, Anna, but she’s also a vamp! Damon wanted to free long-lost love/maker Katherine from a Tomb full of vamps, but it turned out she wasn’t even in there! Bonnie is a witch, and she and her Grams, Whitley Gilbert (no relation), managed to open the tomb, and ALL THE VAMPIRES ESCAPED! What’s going to happen?! READ ON TO FIND OUT ALL THE GOREY DEETS!
Harper, one of the vamps who escapes the tomb and who has a ring so he can walk in the daylight, attacks a hiker and steals his clothes. He has a name, so you know he’s going to show up again. Elena asks Jenna if she’d done any digging about her adoption. Jenna shows Elena how to use Bing, a new search engine shamelessly plugged by this show, and looks up info on Isobel. She tells Elena that Alaric’s wife’s name was also Isobel. CRAZYNESS! Damon is coping with not finding Katherine by drinking, throwing sexy parties at the SBH, and feeding on some “Tri-Delts.” Stefan questions Damon about Isobel, but Damon claims to not remember. Over at Matt’s place, Caroline is suggesting they sex things up a bit, but they’re interrupted by Matt’s whorish absentee mother, who has returned! Over at the Mystic Grill, Jenna and Ric are hanging a sign for a Founder’s Day Fundraiser (DOES IT EVER STOP?!), and they smoochy-smooch. Jenna makes things awkward by mentioning Isobel and they establish that Ric’s wife & Elena’s mom are the same! Elena has taken it upon herself to learn everything she can about Isobel, but encounters ominous warnings. The Sheriff asks Damon to participate in a bachelor auction for the Fundraiser. He agrees, but in exchange, he wants info on Alaric. SHIRTLESS DAMON! Elena is irked by Damon’s new attitude, concerned, even. Over at the Fundraiser, Damon talks to the Sheriff about the info she pulled on Ric, and he remembers who Isobel is, and calls her “delicious” to poor Ric’s face. OH, SNAP! Matt’s mom calls Caroline fake. OH, SHIT! This ep is full of bitches! Elena tells Damon that Ric’s wife was her mom, and he suddenly looks appalled at his own behavior. Aww. Back at the SBH, Alaric confronts Damon, finds out that he turned Isobel at her request, and Damon stakes him! But Alaric is saved by the ring that Isobel gave him – the ring that so closely resembles the Salvatores’! Elena calls a number AND ISOBEL ANSWERS! At the very end, we see Harper again (told you!). Looks like Anna and Mama Pearl have a house guest…
All of the Tomb vamps have escaped, and are now staying in an old farmhouse outside of town with them. Anna sees some vampdouche, Frederick, feeding on the woman who owns the house, and he stares Anna down menacingly (yep, we’ll be seeing him again). Over at the Donovan house, Matt takes on the role of the parent as he gives a talking-to to his MOTHER who has apparently brought a boy home. Nice parenting, Kelly. Caroline plans a double date with Elena and Stefan. Anna and Mama Pearl decide to pay Damon a visit. Back at the Gilbert house, Jeremy goes to a chat room to ask questions about vampire lore BECAUSE HE’S CLEARLY NEVER SEEN A VAMPIRE MOVIE EVER. Back at the SBH, Mama Pearl tells Damon that she’ll help him find Katherine if he helps her get the vamps settled in MF, but things get a bit eye-gougy when he refuses. Damon goes to drown his sorrows over in Cougartown, I mean, at the bar, where he encounters Kelly Donovan and Jenna, and the merry trio get their drink on. Meanwhile, Anna shows up at la Casa de Gilbert, and she and Jeremy discuss vampires. Over at Awkward Central, Elena, Stefan, Caroline and Matt go on their double date, also at the Mystic Grill, which is the only restaurant/bar in all of Mystic Falls apparently. While there, Frederick (told you!), mistakes Elena for Katherine. Over at the bar, Jenna, gets a hint for once in her life, and high-tails it out of there when Damon turns on the sex with Kelly (God, to be that cherry stem!). Back at home, Jeremy gets an idea and cuts his hand to tempt Anna with his blood. Which is actually kind of a dick move. So she drinks his blood, but they’re interrupted by Jenna. Later that night, Frederick and his galpal Bethanne, who blame the Salvatores for all their troubles, break into the boarding house and attack the brothers. Stefan stakes Bethanne, but Freddie escapes and goes back to the farmhouse. There, Mama Pearl STABS HIM for leaving the house against her orders. Anna goes back to Jeremy and yells at him for cutting himself in front of her (though she TOTES enjoyed it), and he tells her he wants her to turn him… Oh, Jeremy!
A huge storm is taking over Mystic Falls. Jeremy continues to be annoying and tries to convince Anna to change him, but, thank the lord, she continues to refuse. Over at the Grill, Matt confides in Caroline that he yelled at his mommy for being a whore, but is scared that pressuring her to grow up (you go gurl!) will just make her leave again. Stefan goes out hunting in the rain, but gets his ass captured by Freddie and some other tomb vamps who are roaming about due to the storm blocking out the sun, and Damon has to rescue him. STEFAN NOOO! Freddie pretty much promises to torture him before they kill him. They string him up in the basement, and he’s all hurt and shirtless and I can’t take it. Since the owner of the townhouse has been compelled not to invite Damon in, he has to join forces with Alaric. BIRTH OF A BROMANCE! Elena wants to help, but Damon refuses to let her come because she’s his secret crush (oh please, like it’s not obvs). Back in town, Mama Pearl meets with Mayor Lockwood at the Mystic Grill, and decides to get some flirty recon in, to which Mayor Lockwood responds in kind (ARE ALL OF THE PARENTS IN MF TEENAGERS?!). The storm is also making a shit-load of mud, making Caroline’s drive impossible. Back at the farmhouse, Alaric is able to work his way in by asking to use the phone. Damon mercilessly (and kind of awesomely, I might add) kills the human living in the house, enabling him to enter without invitation. Elena, because DON’T TELL HER WHAT SHE CAN’T DO!, goes into the house despite Damon’s warnings. Back in the woods, Caroline ventures out into the mud to find help, but instead finds VICKI’S DEAD BODY! Elena and Damon rescue Stefan, but Damon (natch) and Alaric (awesome) get into a fight (VERVAIN DARTS!) and kill almost ALL of the vamps in the house! Those two are NOT fucking around. Frederick, who was spared, attacks and wounds Stefan. He has to feed on Elena, and munches on her a bit longer than necessary. Back at the Donovan’s, everyone knows Vicki is dead. Caroline tries to comfort Matt, but he says he needs to be alone. When Elena shows up, Matt breaks down, and grabs on to her for dear life. Aww… poor Caroline. Anna, having relented and agreed to turn Jeremy, realizes that the only reason he wanted to be turned was to be with Vicki, that two-timing bastid! So that’s out. Back at the SBH, Damon discovers that Stefan lost control of his needs, and has helped himself to Damon’s entire stash of Soccer Mom-in-a-Bag. Well, StrungOutStefan, how nice to see you.
StrungOutStefan is just about the best thing ever. I seriously will never stop singing praises to this plot turn. Honestly, Stefan. Please hop back on the HB train. Though Stefan has apparently weaned himself off the stuff, Damon continues to encourage him to drink up. Stefan insists that he has everything “under control” (hey! The ep title!), but it’s clear that it’s not 100%. Elena and Jeremy’s creepy uncle, John Gilbert, a.k.a. Uncle Creeper, unexpectedly shows up in Mystic Falls. Over at the Mayor’s house, at an impromptu Founders Council meeting, Uncle Creeper reports some more carnage nearby, in the most ominous way possible. Even the Sheriff calls him jackass. Ha! Back at the Gilbert residence, Stefan and Elena get into a very heated make-out session that Stefan has to stop to regain control. Elena invites Damon over to talk about it later, but he just suggests that deep down Stefan is just like him. Uh oh. Meanwhile, Stefan tries to drown his urges with liquor. Usually that makes those urges come to the surface, but maybe it’s different for vamps. *Shrug* Later, at Founder’s Day event #527, Stefan sure is acting weird! Is he drunk? HE TOTES IS! Damon notices Stefan’s dancing and sidles up to Elena: “Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun?” Hee! (Sidenote: does NO ONE notice that a “teen” is drinking alcohol at this shindig??) Damon tries to find out why Uncle Creeper, who apparently knows Isobel, has returned, but things take a violent turn when Damon breaks his neck and throws him off a balcony.
Meanwhile, out in the hallway, Matt discovers his mom/whore making out with Tyler. GURRLL. Matt and Tyler get into a scuffle, and mom/whore cuts her head. Alaric helps break up the fight, and stares at Tyler with a weird look. Almost like he sees something… Foreshadowing! Damon mentions that he killed UC, but when Stefan goes to follow him, he gets distracted by Kelly’s blood and creepily wipes it off her head. Outside he licks it all off because COME ON MAN, HE HAS TO HAVE IT, BUGS ARE CRAWLING ALL OVER HIM!!! Inside, Damon spots Uncle Creeper, who is magically not dead. WHOA, WHAT?! He has a ring like the one Alaric has! NO WAY! Back at home, Jeremy, not satisfied with the explanation for Vicki’s death, snoops through Elena’s diary, and finds all the vampy details. Outside the party, Elena finds a man who says he tripped and fell, but this has Stefan’s druglike addiction written all over it! I reiterate: Stefan on HB is BAD. ASS. Even sneaking up on Elena and shit. Frightening. Stefan admits he didn’t feed on the guy, but he’s in a bad way; they kiss and she reassures him everything is okay. Back at the SBH, Damon taunts him with a glass of blood. Haha, dick. But Stefan totes gives in and scarfs it down because HE NEEDS HIS PRECIOUS! And holy crap, fade to black!
Now a full-on addict, Stefan figures he can now drive his too-expensive-for-any-teen-to-own sports car to school. Bonus points for lying to Elena about it! Double bonus points for hiding his stash in his trunk! The Sheriff confides in Damon that a blood-bank was robbed. Hmm… Bonnie finally returns to town since her Grams died. Elena is very excited about this, but Bonnie hardly returns the sentiment since Elena and the Salvatores are the reason her Grams is dead. Bitch holds a grudge. Meanwhile, Elena and Caroline are competing in the “Miss Mystic Falls” contest, which will culminate in a dance at a Founder’s Day Gala (NATCH!). Back at the SBH, Damon catches Stefan digging in his second stash in the basement, but Stefan tells him to back off. Touchy! Back upstairs, Uncle Creeper tries to intimidate Damon into giving him a device invented by Johnathan Gilbert back in 1864, but since Damon is infinitely more awesome, it doesn’t work. Over at the MMF contest, while Elena is getting ready, Damon tells her of his brother’s HB-drinking ways. Elena, because she’s a big fan of solving problems RIGHT THIS MINUTE, confronts Stefan, and he gets angry. And he punches a mirror. One of the poor MMF contestants catches him near said broken mirror and he EATS HER! Or well, he kind of kidnaps her to the parking lot. Either way, he’s detained and can’t be Elena’s escort. Damon to the rescue! Aww. DAMN, can Damon flirt with his eyes… I’m sorry, where was I? Ah, yes. So Stefan takes his new meal out into the woods and feeds on her until Damon and Elena (and Bonnie, who follows, and uses her witchy mind bullets to stop his bloodlust) find him. Damon helps cover it up to the Sheriff. Bonnie goes along with it, but tells Elena to leave her alone. NO, I THOUGHT YOU WERE BESTIES! Back at the SBH, Mama Pearl brings Damon the “Gilbert Device” as an apology for the Tomb vamps. Inside, Stefan gets all drug-addict ragey and Elena helps Damon vervain him, and Damon locks him in the basement of the SBH. Oh, Stefan, no! (Oh, btw, Caroline wins MMF… in case you were wondering).
Locked in the basement, Stefan has a vervain-induced flashback to Johnathan Gilbert rounding up all the vamps. He lures the men away from the wagon so Damon can get Katherine out. While they’re trying to free her, Damon is shot and dies. OH NOES! Stefan, too, is shot while going back to free Katherine. WTF?! In and out of flashbacks, Katherine melds with Elena melds with Katherine. In another flashback, Stefan and Damon wake up, in transition, Emily tells him. They’d both died with Kat’s blood in their systems. Back in the SBH, Damon still can’t figure out what the Gilbert device/pocket watch is. Alaric calls him to rekindle their bromance. He has a friend who’s tracked Uncle Creeper’s cell phone. Elena calls to say she’s coming over, but before she can leave, UC stops her and they bitchily banter. Elena 1, UC 0, and Elena leaves. Back at the SBH, Stefan says he doesn’t want to survive. Aww. Mama Pearl and Uncle Creeper meet at the — all together now — Mystic Grill. He wants the device. Back in Bromance City, Damon and Alaric track a cell number to an abandoned house where they find one of the Tomb vamps. They find out he’s helping John essentially keep an eye on the other, out-for-revenge Tomb vamps. When the vamp tries to attack, Alaric stakes him.
Back at the Mystic Grill, UC lies to Pearl about how Johnathan Gilbert loved her, blah blah blah. But then he laughs and tells her he’s just joshing her. Pearl, in turn, tells him she gave the device to Damon, and UC can just rot in hell. HELL YES! Back in the basement of the SBH, Stefan tells Elena how their father was the one who actually shot them. They got into a bit of a scuffle, and Giuseppe accidentally stakes himself. When he bleeds, Stefan can’t help but partake and fully transitions. HOLY HELL! Talk about providing for your family! After, she gives him back his ring for when he’s ready. Back at the farmhouse, Mama Pearl has decided they’re leaving MF, but she won’t force Anna to go. Back at the SBH, Elena chides Damon for being the reason for Stefan’s unhappiness. He’s getting better but Damon is none too happy about this. Which is actually kind of hilarious… until we learn the whole story. You see back in 1864, their roles are reversed! Stefan brings Damon a fair maid to be his transition meal, but Damon is reluctant; he just wants to die, but Stefan gets him to feed.
When Elena runs back to the basement, Stefan is GONE! But his ring is STILL HERE! GODLORDNOSTEFAN! But wait! Stefan has just wandered to the lake where Damon first declared he’d make his life miserable for the rest of time. Stefan wants to die, but Elena talks him down off the proverbial ledge, and they embrace and kiss and awww. (Sidenote: whenever Stefan and Elena embrace/kiss, their butts always stick out, like they’re afraid to let their hips touch. This is weird right?) Back at the farmhouse again, Uncle Creeper kills Mama Pearl! WHAT? OMG! And Anna finds her. She weeps, and it’s totes sad. Like, for real. 😦 Back at the Mystic Grill with Ric, Isobel shows up! OMGWTFBBQ!!!!1!1!1
This ep is named for Elena’s bio-mama so you just know it’s going to be nuts. It seems Mommy Dearest has returned to Mystic Falls, surprising Alaric with her new too-cruel-for-school attitude. She demands that he set up a meeting for her and Elena, and he calls her a selfish bitch. You tell ‘her, Ric! But she kind of attacks him, and threatens to kill EVERYONE if he doesn’t. Over at MFHS, the kids are allowed to ditch their school work to build floats for the Founder’s Day parade. Hooray! Caroline wonders where Elena is since she’s supposed to be helping, but Bonnie can’t even pretend to care, her flat, lifeless hair showing just how much she’s changed! Damon, Elena, Stefan and Alaric have gotten together to talk about how Isobel is back.
Over at some fancy mansion, Uncle Creeper is visiting Isobel. Since he has failed to get the device, she slaps him around a bit, which thank god someone is! Back at the school, Elena says she wants to meet the bitch. When Elena meets with her, Isobel dodges most of her questions, but does make it clear that she wants to know where this weirdo Gilbert device is. She orders Elena to get the device from Damon or else she will KILL EVERYONE she loves. Bitch means business. Damn. Back at the random expensive mansion, Isobel tries to intimidate Damon (why do people keep doing this? It ain’t gonna work!) into giving her the device. In exchange for the device, she agrees to tell Damon where Katherine is. He refuses, saying that he’s not going to take any shit from people who threaten him or those he cares about, i.e., Elena (TOLD YOU!), and that he no longer wants anything to do with ol’ Kathy. When he launches at her, she tells him not to kill the messenger. He hisses that he firmly believes in killing the messenger. Why? “Because it sends a message!” YEAH! So, go fuck yourself, Isobel!! Whew! Sorry… Damon gets me a bit riled up…
Unfortunately, Isobel has other plans, and kidnaps Jeremy in order to get Elena to do as she requested. Back at the mansion, it becomes clear that Isobel and Uncle Creeper are both working for — wait for it — KATHERINE! Uncle Creeper tries to save Jeremy, but Isobel’s minions attack him, and she steals his ring. Back at the SBH, Elena begs Damon for the device, which he gives her after Bonnie promises to remove the spell from it (which supposedly enables it to incapacitate vampires) before Elena hands it over to Isobel. When she gives it to her, Isobel tells Elena that the only reason that Damon gave it to her is because he’s in love with her (WHAT? Hello, history. Glad to see you’re repeating yourself!). Isobel, who apparently does care about Elena, in her own weird way, tells her that Stefan and Damon will only bring her trouble.
Back at the school, Isobel confronts Alaric again, revealing that she actually does love him, and that she regrets becoming a vampire, but she compels him to move on. Aww, I spy a redeeming quality! Back at the SBH, Damon tells Stefan that Uncle Creeper is Elena’s bio-dad! Isobel reminds UncleDaddy Creeper that Katherine wants him to use the device to kill all the vampires in MF, and tacks on Stefan and Damon to that list. She suggests that killing Stefan and Damon is the best thing she and UDC could do for their daughter. Because after 17 years of not being there at all, the least they could do is kill her boyfriend and his brother. So thoughtful. I mean, a “We’re sorry we abandoned you and never told anyone we were your parents, which is actually better because we both turned out to be such cunts” card would have sufficed, no? At the very end, Bonnie reveals that she didn’t actually remove the spell from the device. THAT BITCH! Gee, I hope nothing bad happens…
There’s one more episode, but we have already recapped it in more detail than you probably imagined possible. There are pictures! Go read it here! Episode 1.22. “Founder’s Day.” Essentially shit happens, buildings are burned, Bonnie’s a b(w)itch, Jeremy drinks a vial of Anna’s blood and tries to kill himself, Anna is staked (I KNOW!), Tyler is something else, Damon makes out (and it’s TOTES hot) with who he thinks is Elena but TURNS OUT TO BE KATHERINE!, and she stabs Uncle Creeper in the gut. The episode ends with the real Elena going to the kitchen WHERE KATHERINE IS! GIRL, RUN THE OTHER WAY!!
Now, who’s excited for Season 2?!