Main Players: Cin, Christina and Abby (SBH staff); Dayna, Erin, Melissa, and Stephanie (SBH contributors and friends).
Vigil Candles For Klaus
Abby: Let’s get this out of the way, shall we? AAAAHHH!!! NOOOOO!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO!!! DON’T TAKE HIM AWAY FOREVER, SHOW. I CAN’T STAND IT. WE NEED HIM! HE’S PERFECT! SAVE KLAUS! SAVE KLAUS! #Seppuku
Christina: I have to constantly keep reminding myself that he’s not really dead, he’s just desiccated. He’s just desiccated. He could come back. He could come back. HE WILL COME BACK. HE WILL COME BACK! AAHHHHh *sobs* A life without Klaus isn’t worth living!
Dayna: I’m not happy to have Klaus gone, because Joseph Morgan is SO good, and Klaus always brings some great snark along with the, you know, threat of imminent death, but DAMN they did a good job of catching me by surprise. I totally did not see that coming.
Stephanie: I SO did not expect that twist and I was sad for one second because it’s Klaus and he’s pretty much been the bees knees this season; however, I KNOW he’ll be back. That character and Joseph Morgan are too good for the writers to keep him away for too long.
Cin: As if everyone didn’t have enough reasons to hate Bonnie. It’s almost like the writers have said “fuck it, everyone hates her already – she can do the dirty work”. Fucking Bonnie. Why the fuck is she even still alive? UGH!
Abby: *deep breath* Okay, I feel a little better. I’m going to be sad forever if they kill Klaus in a permanent way, but I have to admit, the desiccation thing was smart. I have ALWAYS maintained that Klaus would, eventually, have to be defeated in some way or the storyline would be horribly pointless. That he could never be truly redeemed. Klaus is, and always has been, a villain. He’s a villain with depth, a wide range of emotions and a beautiful tragedy about him, but he IS a villain. Without a moment where the home team triumphs over Klaus, there’s no payoff. As much as I love him, I have to admit, this was necessary. I just hope it’s not permanent, because I ALSO think that Klaus is sufficiently developed that he could ride off into the sunset now that they’ve bested him once, and be the world’s most charming plot device in future episodes. Elijah and Klaus are the two Originals that I feel make excellent recurring guests, because it makes sense for them to come in, do things, and then vanish again until the next time. Fingers crossed we get to keep them both for future fun.
Melissa: I so agree on this being both necessary and smart. I loved the desiccation of Klaus. Well obviously I still want him around forever but we’ve all been saying that the Originals, and especially Klaus, have to lose at some point. Otherwise the show would be about them in the first place. (Not the worst idea in the world. Are you listening, CW? MAKE AN ORIGINALS SPINOFF HAPPEN). But you just can’t bring in a villain without eventually taking them down. Desiccation works perfectly however, because for one, it maintains the idea that they can’t actually kill Klaus. Which I like because it tends to frustrate me in supernatural stories when a legendary villain gets taken down by adolescents. Secondly though, & this has my fangirl boner on full alert, is that there is precedence for a desiccation spell. We’ve seen the process be effective since S1 with the tomb vamps and learned that it could be done when Abby did it. This wasn’t a magical genie out of a grimoire & THAT thrills me. Also, yes, I do see the potential for Elijah & Klaus to be recurring guests. Oh and I don’t buy for a minute that the shot of the moon over the car as the boys were driving was just a pretty view of the night sky. That spell is used to desiccate a vampire. Klaus ain’t no vampire. Er, not just a vampire. & since this show doesn’t do anything casually, (it does things wrong but it doesn’t do casual or throwaway), I’m ordering my douchebadge now over Klaus’ werewolf side waking him up during the next full moon.
And that moment as Klaus was desiccating where he still can’t really believe that Stefan is actually doing this to him and Stefan is looking back like he can’t really believe it himself. I had a few tears.
Cin: I will confess that I was barely listening to the Salvatores big triangle talk because I kept waiting for that casket to shatter and him to bum rush the front seat full on wolf. I feel cheated.
Abby: ME TOO.
Erin: I totally cried. I didn’t even mean to. I just sort of happened. My husband looked at me, so confused, “Isn’t he the bad guy? Don’t you hate him?” No. Not entirely. He is the bad guy but THE BEST bad guy. I hate this stupid show for making me love him the way that I do. I agree that everything about doing it was smart and necessary. But can it be smart and necessary and still suck a big one?
Abby: How much fun was it to see Klaus throwing a tantrum (and a lot of other things!) because he couldn’t get into the house? SO MUCH FUN. I love the difference between him and patient Elijah. Elijah: “I’ll wait you out.” Klaus: “I WILL BURN THIS HOUSE TO THE GROUND IN FULL VIEW OF ALL THE NEIGHBORS, BITCHES.” Please. Someone give those two their own show…or at least more screentime. I’d give ANYTHING to see them interacting more together.
Cin: It was fuckawesome is what it was. I was like “He’s pulling an Elijah” I LOVE IT WHEN THEY PULL ELIJAH’S!!! Loved every single second of it. Could have watched it for an entire hour. And the visuals of him — especially that last one of him walking up to the house with the propane bottle and torch. ROFLMAO! Brilliant.
Stephanie: That was by far my FAVORITE moment of the episode. I could watch it over and over again.
Melissa: SO MUCH THIS. That scene also showed the closeness of Elijah & Klaus and how they were true brothers for so many years because both of them have the attitude of ‘a house? You think a house can stop me? Foolish, foolish children.’ PERFECTION.
Erin: I have actually rewound and watched that scene at least a dozen times. I am always so thrilled whenever Klaus acts like a spoiled child. Elijah has learned so many things over his 1000 years and Klaus just refuses to be anything other than his true self. It’s fabulous.
The Magical Vagina Variety Hour
Christina: Look, I’m going to say it. I am getting really fucking goddamn tired of these assholes talking about how special of a human/girl/cumdumpster Elena is. [Cin: *DEAD FOREVER*] Now, before anyone gets their panties in a wad, let me explain. What the hell was the point of having an ENTIRE SCENE where Stefan and Damon talk about how special she is, and how whoever she chooses, the loser will slink away with his tail between his legs? WHY HAS THE SHOW COME DOWN TO THIS?! Why does she HAVE to choose one of them? Who says her every fucking happiness relies on one of the Super Salvatore Brothers loving her, and her loving him? Why can’t Elena just stand on her own? OH! And when Caroline fucking said that to her? Caroline, I fucking love you so much, but you too? I don’t understand why this show has to cram the love triangle down our throats so fucking hard. I want to believe that the audience is smarter than that, and I want to believe that the show believes we are, but when we have to endure an ultimatum like this, I just can’t. The best choice for Elena is probably NO ONE. She needs go off to college, date some nice human boys and stay the fuck away from danger. I realize that that’s her middle name, so she won’t be able to, but… this show used to be so much better than this, people. It used to be about SO MUCH MORE. But now it comes down to how a girl’s self worth is the direct result of choosing between a set of brothers to find her lover? Let her have both. I’m done. Wake Klaus the fuck back up, have him go off to Europe with Caroline, let Elijah tag along. That’s the show I want. I’m done with Elena and her magical vagina.
Cin: Jeezus. PREACH, girl. I know we share a brain and all but seriously, that is EXACTLY how I feel.
Stephanie: *on my knees praising Christina* WORD. I HATE that this has become such a huge sticking point for the show lately. STOP addressing the ship war. Elena and her Cracker Jack prize vagina does not need to choose and if she does the other brother does not need to go off in the night! This triangle has gotten on my last nerve. I don’t even fucking care about her choice. I wish the brothers would just be like, ‘Well you could of had us both but now we’re going to go open a tiki hut on a beach somewhere. PEACE!’. Also, I went off about Caroline and her ship opinion last week. Caroline, I love you, but STFU about choosing and who you think is best. WE DON’T NEED THIS TYPE OF DIALOGUE ON THIS SHOW!
Cin: Can I also point out that her post blood draining walk at the end implied that her vajayjay is not the only thing lusted after in MF. Yeah. I said it.
Dayna: I’ve got some triangle fatigue too, though I think I’m having a harder time with all of the secondary characters commenting on it than on it actually existing because, I mean, the show was set up on that premise. It’s kind of like hating that people are always on the beach when watching Baywatch, you know? If it’s a huge problem, this probably isn’t the right show to be watching.
Stephanie: BEST. USE. OF. A. BAYWATCH. ANALOGY. EVER. I certainly have triangle fatigue and I don’t mind it when the writers just let it play out. I’m just sick of the last few episodes where we’ve had to endure actually addressing both sides of the ship with what seem to me to be arbitrary arguments. If you’re smart and watch the show you don’t need the whole triangle spelled out to you.
Christina: DAYNA. Me love you long time for your Baywatch analogy! And word to Stephanie. I don’t have a problem with the fact that it exists. I’m tired that everyone is like “YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE!” GodDAMN. It’s like Elena is the Claw. “SHE CHOOSES WHO WILL STAY AND WHO WILL GOOOOOO!”
Dayna: ROFL! I’m down with the polyamory thing.
Stephanie: LOL. Just let them all have threesomes and giant orgies with each other then everyone is happy. The fact is though we all know that neither of these brothers are going anywhere. This back and forth will continue to happen which is why I think the whole ‘Elena must choose or we’ll all die by giant meteor hitting earth’ is stupid. Also why can’t people take Katherine’s advice and just accept that it’s okay to love them both. Y’all Katherine is the smartest motherfucker on this show. I need her back.
Christina: Word, man. Word. I also feel like Elena’s game is stepped up a bit when Kathi is around. I need Elena to show her Petrova Fire again. Magical Vaginas. Petrova fires. Sounds like an STD, really.
Stephanie: DYING. I was going to say it sounded like a Doors song or something but I like your analogy better.
Christina: “Come on baby, Petrova fire. Try to set the boys on FIYAAAAAAAAA!”
Erin: I heard Katherine’s voice in the “previously on” and it made me miss her SO MUCH. The writers always said she would never come around if Klaus was there. Maybe there is a real upside to this Klaus going for a swim thing. The triangle shit is old. I too know that it’s the premise, but there are so many interesting things they can do with this show and they aren’t doing them because god fucking forbid she stand on her own two feet for 6 seconds.
Stephanie: YES! It’s okay to say, “You do you but I gotta do me.” Embrace the single life for a while Elena and do you!
Cin: She can be cookie dough. #BtVSshoutout
Erin: All that said, can we talk for one second about how she told Tyler to CALL STEFAN???? I could get high off of that for weeks. I am so lame.
Stephanie: Not burst your bubble Erin but I think she probably figured Tyler and Damon have yet to swap digits.
Erin: YOU CANNOT STEAL THIS FROM ME!!! THAT IS NOT WHY SHE SAID THAT!!
Cin: I’m with Erin. She does trust Stefan more. But only because I think she knows that Damon would charge in there and get himself killed. Because, well, he’s Damon.
Stephanie: Well Damon did admit he makes stupid choices, like keeping Bonnie alive.
Abby: Not gonna lie, I wasn’t a fan of what they did with Alaric. I’m going to take it back, though. Evil Alaric is SO MUCH BETTER than nice Alaric ever was. I love him. I LOVE what he did with the council. Are we setting up a war for next season? That’d be fantastic! Matt Davis knows how to rock some menacing, and it’s about time someone started kicking over all the anthills around town. Well done!
Cin: He tortured Caroline. I wish he would have died a few ring attempts ago. Over it.
Stephanie: I told y’all I’d take Alaric in any form I could get him but I have to say I didn’t realize how much I’d love Evil!Alaric until last night. I had glimpses of this possible love last year season when Klaus took over his body but Matt Davis blew me away last night with how well he plays sadistic evil bastards. I’m SO behind this new Alaric and as long as Elena lives we get to keep him. And yes Abby, his move with the council was fucking brilliant. I got such a lady boner with that move and the implications that a civil war is coming to Mystic Falls next season. Y’all if that happens season four might become my favorite to date.
Dayna: Which would make the Civil War photos and models that they scanned over very anvilicious as well. Good catch, Stephanie!
Cin: I see this ‘council in the know’ angle as another plot device they have written themselves into a corner with. How can The Salvatores, Caroline & Tyler live in this town with dozens of humans who want to kill them know about them? Oh, wait – I’m sure they’ll just magic their way out of this problem too. *dramatic eye roll*
Stephanie: That’s the beauty though. They can’t live in a town like that which is why the war is coming. Humans, including council members, will have to take sides. Some will see that not all these “monsters” are evil and that they can actually be great allies while others will still only see them as the inferior species who cause nothing but social and moral decay of their town. If magic is used it’ll be by Bonnie I imagine working with the humans/council to rid the town of vampires.
Cin: But the show you just described, zero interest for me. They have proven time and again that the humans suck. And especially the humans who come from council stock. I just don’t see the appeal in this storyline at all. This year we got UBER vampires who proved to be even more dynamic and now if they take a step back and do like the back to basics MF tale… It’s too late for that. For me, it’s just entirely too late to go back to that simple small town story.
Stephanie: I agree we got some UBER dynamic vampires this year BUT who’s to say these dynamics won’t thrive in a storyline? I don’t think it’ll just be the simple tale you’re thinking it’ll be, I think it’ll be bigger and encompass more than just that re-telling. I’ll also concede that the humans haven’t always been the best but they might finally get some decent ones as long as they go outside the Skull and Crossbone secret society they. You and me don’t disagree on much Cin but I think we might on this. I still love you though Besides this all speculation as the finale hasn’t even aired, I could be completely wrong about season four’s route.
Cin: Yeah, it’s too early to speculate much – but if I were a betting girl I’d say they are going to magic their way out of this situation. It’s the easy fix. Because who will be scared about humans having knowledge for an entire summer?
Stephanie: FUCKING HATE MAGIC!
Cin: On that, I DEFINITELY agree. They are fucking cheaters and I’m SICK OF IT!
Stephanie: It has been WAY too overused on this show. The only way I’ll allow more magic is if Bonnie dies from it.
Cin: It’s like with them keep killing Alaric, they do it a dozen times and on the 13th some people have just had enough and don’t even react anymore. Like me. I mean, the stuff last week between him and some of the characters was touching – but the him OMG!DIED! part, nope. The magic is the same way. They have gotten themselves out of so many impossible situations with it already that now when faced with impossible situations it’s futile to even think about the fallout because there is a 90% chance it won’t stick. And word, Stephanie. WHY IS BONNIE STILL ALIVE?!?
Erin: I am so impossibly bored by every little thing Bonnie says or does. I miss a lot of things happening on the show because my brain auto shuts off every time she comes on screen.
Cin: You are SOOOOOOO not alone, Erin. Christina & I both do that every single episode. Christina will be like ‘what are they talking about’ and I’ll tell her and she’ll say “Oh, I was still turned off b/c of that Bonnie scene” LOL
Christina: That happened the ENTIRE episode last night. Like, I was still so turned off and mad about the whole heart thing, I COMPLETELY missed Alaric attacking the Salvatore Brothers in the school. Like completely missed it. Pretty sure I was still whining to Cin about Bonnie and how much I hate her for trying to “kill” Klaus. I’m over her face.
LEAVE CAROLINE THE FUCK ALONE.
Melissa: *In Caroline’s voice* “EVERYONE NEEDS TO JUST STOP TORTURING ME!”
Abby: NO MORE CAROLINE TORTURE. I’M SERIOUS, SHOW. Honestly, can’t we pick on somebody else? It’s gotten so that torture for her is so routine she just shrugs it off and pours a few shots! That’s not right. It’s just not right.
Christina: Why can’t they ever torture Bonnie? Or Tyler? To the death.
Stephanie: WORD, Christina. I was hoping Bonnie would fucking die after taking down Klaus and that Klaus would kill Tyler in the process. Alas, my wishes weren’t fulfilled.
Cin: Any and all sympathy they hoped to squeeze out of me about Alaric died right quick and in a hurry when he was hurting my Car. I seriously can’t take that ya’ll. I just can’t. It upsets me on a primal level like nothing else this show ever does. It crosses the line. It’s like torturing a baby kitten or something. *spits*
Stephanie: Maybe I’m weird but I loved Alaric torturing Caroline. Not because I hate Caroline (that’s just not possible) but I just loved that he was completely gone.
Melissa: I was talking to Maddie last night and I really feel that Caroline was the best choice for a torture victim for several reasons. A simple one is that it makes sense that she would be at the school on a weekend over the others. But from a fan perspective, Caroline is the one that nearly everyone is invested in. If it was anyone else, you’d have a good portion of fandom down with Alaric killing that person. With Caroline, everyone wants her to be saved. And then within the show, even Evilaric is smart. He knows these people. He knows how much Caroline matters to everyone there. Jeremy is the only person who doesn’t have a close connection with Caroline. Even Damon has proven that he cares about her in his own way. (Like S2 when he saved her from being part of Klaus’ sacrifice). If Alaric wants to guarantee that his real target gets to him, Caroline is far & away the best choice. NOT THAT I WANT HER BEING TORTURED ANYMORE.
Christina: That makes a whole heap of sense, actually. But yeah, torturing Caroline? Deal breaker.
Abby: I wonder how many times “Poor Caroline” has been a TVD Twitter trend?
Erin: Mel, I agree that she was the obvious choice but for fuck’s sake!! AGAIN?? For one, it’s horrible to watch. Candice is way too damn convincing. For another, I feel like it has now been done like 8 zillion times. Never fails to get me emotionally invested though. So…
Team Klaroline, Anyone?
Christina: Anyone else pee themselves just a little when he had his arms around her? What? I know it wasn’t, like, a REAL hug, he was just trying to hush her up, but YOU GUYS I’M GETTING ALL TEENAGE FANGIRL HERE.
Stephanie: ME TOO! I was reciting ‘Kiss the Girl’ from the Little Mermaid in my head during that scene. They just need to make out already. Maybe Caroline will be Klaus’ Princess Charming and wake him up with a kiss.
Cin: ME TOO! I was like “Kiss her. KISS HER DAMMIT!” I mean shit. What do we have to do to get a bone. He’s supposed to be bad. A BAD GUY WOULD HAVE KISSED HER IF SHE WAS LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT! Ugh!
Christina: I heart you forever, Stephanie. That NEEDS TO HAPPEN.
Abby: All the hearts for that little scene. I love Klaus as the rescuer, and I love even more the way he immediately flipped back to being Klaus the evil. He’s so heartbreakingly damaged. He NEEDS someone like Caroline, but the bitch of it is that someone like Caroline is never going to be able to forgive him all the unacceptable things that he does. All the broken hearts for Klaroline.
Melissa: Never say never. No seriously, don’t, my shipper heart can’t take it. I think that last week’s Klaroline dance really gave us our answer to what will happen there. The day will come when Klaus is absolutely right, Mystic Falls won’t be enough for her. But I think he’ll be waiting more than a few years for that. Caroline will have to be a little darker as a person and Klaus will have to be more trusting. Both are on their way, but they aren’t there yet. But take a Caroline who’s still 17 as most of her friends and family are old or dead and it’s a very different story. They’ve become my Buffy/Angel of TVD. I don’t necessarily need them together right now, to know they will be together in the end.
Abby: Nothing would please me more than for Caroline to run away with Klaus to Paris, but I do think that when she goes, she’ll go on her own, as a strong person. They might meet up there, but in the end, Caroline doesn’t need someone to rescue her. She’ll rescue her damn self and then go dancing. (Just please, Caroline…save a dance for Klaus!)
Cin: In the meantime she needs to quit wasting her time with the dog and get back with Matty or take a stab at Stefan. What? I need to not be grossed out by her love interest. Sue me.
Erin: Last night was the first time I actually cheered for Tyler. I know. It took me by surprise as well. I was just really proud of him standing up to Klaus in order to help Elena. I never took him for a big Elena fan. It was kind of sweet. That being said, Caroline needs to dump his ass. They have zero chemistry and I just cannot get behind that pairing. I am still baffled by those that are fully vested in it. How sad are their lives? I lost my breath for that one small moment when Caroline was in Klaus’ arms. The way he spoke to her had me giggling on the floor. I NEED THEM TOGETHER. Not today maybe, but someday. Better fucking happen.
Stephanie: I just want to see all the pretty pictures he’ll paint of her and horses. Oh, and all the pearl necklaces he’ll give her. I’m sure he’ll make sure they’ll be extra pearly. I doubt Tyler’s pearl necklaces live up in comparison.
Tyler Slips His Leash
Abby: …and the first thing he does is bite Klaus (figuratively speaking). Bad dog. VERY BAD. DOG.
Melissa: I can’t believe I’m admitting this but I sort of let out a “Go Tyler” when he told Klaus he wasn’t his little bitch anymore. I kind of think as long as Tyler’s not with Caroline (as she’s far too good for him) I like him a lot more. And I really enjoyed when Tyler screamed “you didn’t give a crap about me” before calling Klaus out on his fear of being alone. It sort of hinted at the idea that Tyler, or at least a part of Tyler, was okay with the sire bond if Klaus really wanted him as family. But if it was purely for selfish reasons, that hurt Tyler too.
Cin: I was and am never ‘Go Tyler’. I wanted his deprogramming to have not worked.
Christina: I’m still praying for spontaneous combustion.
Melissa: You know, also regarding Tyler, I still don’t (and won’t) ship Tyler & Caroline but I do just want Caroline to be happy. There was something very sweet and rewarding about the two of them in the end, holding each other and happy. I doubt it will last but for that moment, it was sweet to see a couple that worked towards being together without outside loyalties, actually get there.
Abby: Truthfully, I like Tyler now, and I totally agree with you that he deserved his moment of badassery. On the other hand…KLLAAAUUUSSS. *sobs*
Stephanie: Tyler has always been ‘meh’ for me. Just never had any feelings about the character one way or the other. I did roll my eyes at his, “I’m not your little bitch anymore.” outburst. Dude, it’s Klaus. EVERYONE is Klaus’ bitch if he wants them to be.
Cin: Word to ya’ motha. That ‘punch’ wolf boy got in, what a joke.
Christina: Haha, the bitch line made me laugh for that same reason — like, “right, okay, HAHAHAHAHAHA Whatever you say, Ty-Ty!” God, I hate him.
EVIL BONNIE IN SEASON 4?
Abby: That girl was enjoying the whole heart-stopping murder thing waaaaay too much. Gotta say, if Bonnie becomes evil, I’ll probably like her a lot better.
Melissa: Y’all saw the Dark!Willow like spider veins creep across Bonnie’s face in that spell right? She’s so going to the dark side.
Dayna: The only way I can drum up even a smidgen of interest in a Dark Bonnie storyline is if they kill her in the end.
Stephanie: Oh she totally has to die. It’s the only choice but yes I did see her go all Dark!Willowish during the spell so you just know it’s going to happen. Even someone said that Bonnie will get tired of being used and will take action to keep it from happening it again.
Christina: I feel like Bonnie enjoys it. If they didn’t use her and drag her into these plots, she wouldn’t have any reason to be a raging bitch. The only way I’ll be enthused about EvilBonnie is if she dies. Bloodily.
Cin: I still can’t believe they have let her live this long. I don’t want her around dark, light or in between. Screw Bonnie. She’s a waste of airtime. Plus, evil Bonnie means more magic. As if we didn’t have enough of that as it f-ing is.
Erin: The thing about Evil Willow was that I really wanted to get the real Willow back. I was invested in her pain and in her recovery. If Bonnie went bad I would just be praying for them all to put her out of her misery sooner rather than later.
Abby: It was charming. I do like these two, and I love scenes with them together. On the flip side, I could care less about the love triangle, and the fact that we pretty much only see them bond over discussions about Elena? Disappointing. I know, it’s a silly complaint in a show that’s based on a love triangle….but there are so many better things to watch!
Melissa: Agreed. I’m happy to see them bonding & maturing but I wish it wasn’t only over a girl. Though I suppose their bond was broken by their love for a Petrova doppelganger so we could call this some sort of full circle business. And as much as the triangle bores me, that scene with all three on the porch as they dropped Elena off was a very mature moment from all parties.
Stephanie: I’m so over this stupid triangle being drawn out. Just give me Salvatore bonding instead. That’s the relationship I care most about right now, besides the revival of Team Blood and Beer, so I of course LOVED the car ride scene when they were discussing what a great team they made. However, I’m with you Abby and wish that they didn’t always have to talk about their mutual love for Elena.
Erin: I am still super pissed at Damon for not delivering the punchline of his joke. So fucking rude. I DO want to know now many it takes damn it! But I always love when these two spend time together not fighting. Even if it is triangle stuff. They have such a great dynamic. If Elena died and the show was all about the two of them making their way around the world, I would still watch.
Stephanie: I NEED THAT SHOW. No other characters required except for an occasional meet up with Alaric because he’s an honorary brother.
E Is For Elena, Done In By A Table. F Is For First Aid. Is Nobody Able?
Abby: Those boys have over two centuries between them and nobody knows to take the girl with blood loss & a head injury to the ER for an x-ray? Shit, Salvatores. Even *I* know that if somebody hits their head that hard you’re supposed to watch them and wake them up every hour, not leave them alone with a crowd of alcoholic friends. Way to fail basic first aid, you jokers!
Melissa: Am I weird if I really do hope that’s the only reason she collapsed? I totally want to see Elena turn and I’m like 93% sure it will happen next week but I don’t want any juju involved in this particular collapse. I just want it to be from no one calling Meredith in for some basic first aid.
Abby: WORD. A stupid, ordinary, human accident. These kids are too used to everything being supernatural. Go table! Go table!
Cin: And THEN what do her friends do when she got home? They feed her hard liquor AFTER her blood has been drained. Because it’s time to partay?!? What in the actual fuck was that shit?
Dayna: I totally do NOT want Elena to turn. That’s what Katherine is for. If I had to choose between the lesser of the evils — the evils being either Elena turns, or the vamps get re-humaned — then I would pick Elena turning, but only then. I do agree, however, that it looks like a distinct possibility. Stefan’s comment, “You’ve gone darker,” though referring to the paint job, was particularly anvilicious. And her saying that if wanting to protect them makes her the bad guy then she’ll be the bad guy? I can totally see it happening. I just do not want it to. AT ALL.
Stephanie: We know Elena will turn someday but I don’t know if now is the time. Or maybe I just don’t want it right now. That being said, I have a feeling next week it’ll happen whether we like it or not. The question is whose blood will be in her system when she dies and will they feel guilty about it?
Dayna: Then again, turning Elena right now would be all kinds of obvious, and since when does this show go the most obvious route?
Stephanie: True but its plot twists have been sort of obvious, aside from last night. Honestly, I don’t care either way. If she dies and turns, then she dies and turns. If she lives, then she lives. If Bonnie magically dies instead, I rejoice.
Cin: Personally, I want them to turn her because I can’t handle another season of the Elena show. If she is turned she is the same as the other vamps more or less. Change it up. This all about Elena hour has gone stale IMO. So yeah, if she stays human threw the finale and next seasons premiere – I’ll be disappointed.
Erin: I totally drank a butt load of mimosas the last time I hit my head really hard and I’m fine. Other than the strange twitch and slight brain damage, I am fine. I was sort of annoyed that she didn’t want to do tequila shots. Who doesn’t want to do shots? What a party pooper!! I don’t think she’ll turn. It’s too early.
Cin: I could care less about the princesses brain injury. I was talking about the blood loss. Which all of her friends knew about and still tried to liquor her up. Too early? Didn’t she turn in like the 1st or 2nd book? They need to do something because another season of them protecting her and vying for her vajayjay. We’ve done the orphan goddess thing long enough. They HAVE to do something & her turning is the next step.
Christina: I really want to make a Million Dollar Baby joke, but I can’t even muster the strength to care. She’ll turn. Or at least they’re going to make us think she will in the finale. I’m still undecided on whether they’ll have the balls to actually do it.
Weirdly Perky Kitchen Party
Abby: Did this strike anyone else as a false note in an otherwise excellent episode? It was so weird I was SURE it was going to segue right into some kind of flashback or dream sequence, because I just can’t see them all getting together for drinks like that after the day they’d had. I mean, sure, it’s Mystic Falls and everything is weird, but that emotional shift was just too abrupt, and then POOF it was gone and we’re back to painting and fainting. What the hell? Totally bizarre. Honestly, this episode was very good at faking me out, which is usually not the case. I thought the full moon would rouse Klaus, I thought the kitchen thing was a dream…there were a number of places where I was sure the show was going in one direction and it did something completely different. Very sneaky, show. VERY SNEAKY.
Melissa: (Sidenote, I double checked & it wasn’t a full moon yet. [Abby: DAMNIT!] Anyway, I was kind of weirded out at first by the party and because I was processing, I didn’t hear everything talked about so I rewatched a couple times. And then it wasn’t so weird and was kind of nice. There are several mentions of the fact that Alaric is still out there and that this isn’t over. But Bonnie & Caroline note that they should take a moment to celebrate at least taking down Klaus. Which is very Caroline. She was miss persevere in the S2 finale as well. The kids of Mystic Falls have always seemed to remember that even in the crazy, if they don’t take moments to be happy when they can get them, there’s no real point in fighting at all and I felt like this scene showed it. And Matt was so adorable! “I’m like a ninja.” [Stephanie: Matt won my heart with that line.] I want to see more Matt/Jeremy/Tyler scenes. (Gah, what is it with me not minding Tyler?!) Oh and Matt’s pecs were looking divine in that shirt.
Cin: Does it matter if it was a full moon? Can’t hybrids change at will? No full moon required?
Stephanie: Yeah, they don’t need a full moon to change. Obviously, Tyler breaking his bones hundred times (I’m calling bluff, maybe more like 20 times) proved that.[Christina: Hahaha word, he’s too much of a pussy.]
Dayna: It did seem a little strange, but not completely amiss. And yes, it was a half-moon, not a full moon. I wonder what will happen if Klaus is swimming with the fishes and the full moon turns him…
Abby: FISH ARE DELICIOUS! NOM NOM NOM.
Stephanie: Maybe he’ll make friends with Baby Beluga. Back to the alcohol consumption around the island party, I didn’t find it particularly weird. I think it was the catalyst for the flashbacks of Elena’s “simpler life” next week. Like she was reminded of her life before vampires in that scene and which will prompt her flashbacks next week during her comatose state. I’m sure.
Cin: I still think it was f-ing dumb for them to be passing around the hard liquor. Not a one of them even trying to get the girl to sit down or have a cookie. I mean, her blood was drained almost to the point of death, but no big deal. Just another day in MF. *shakes head*
Stephanie: Cin, when are you going to learn that none of these residents have any common sense? Those would have been practical reactions and these kids are anything but practical. I’m shocked they didn’t do keg stands. Also they’re all pussies if they need salt and lime to go with their tequila shots. Amateurs.
Cin: You are so right. What was I even thinking. And TRUE FACTS! Alaric will roll over in his grave. You know, when he gets one.
Christina: HAHAHAHA ME LOVE YOU CIN.
Erin: I want to know how many shots Matty had done before he even showed up at the Gilbert house. Buddy seemed pretty wasted already. Can you blame him though? His life is so sad.
Melissa: After sitting through weeks of slut shaming, I was so thrilled to have a nice moment between Rebekah & Caroline. I still have a fantasy that they will someday become best friends.
Stephanie: Don’t worry they’ll be swapping halves of a heart-shaped BFF necklace soon enough.
Abby: That was a nice little scene. Rebekah breaks my heart.
Cin: I totally agree. I loved that scene so much. It made me want more. They need to have slumber parties and braid each others hair. MAKE IT SO!
Stephanie: She’s so tragic because she tries so hard to put her family back together and to make friends but it always blows up in her face. Plus, somebody really needs to take that girl to a dance already. Specifically Matt because they’re kind of kindred spirits in the parents and dead sibling areas.
Cin: Word, Steph. I need Matt to get laid too – so I’m Team MattyBex (yes, I just totally made that up) for sure.
Stephanie: God, yes. Those two need to find a dirt road and do the dirty in his truck since that’s probably where he lives now besides at the Grill.
Erin: I would totally be down for them boning. That is the least they could do for Matt at this point.
Cin: RIGHT?!? That boy needs some play and we need to watch.WE’VE ALL EARNED IT!
From the Twittersphere
@hollye83: Can’t they clean at vamp speed?!?! #TVD
@B_inShortsville: Bonnie looks like she just blew a clown. #tvd
@bluedaisy16: OMG, was that a neighbor??? I saw a neighbor standing on a porch? Does he not care about what’s happening on his block? #TVD
@thomascgalvin It’s nice to see that Klaus has his balls back, Damon has his snark back, and Stefan has his hero hair back. #TVD
@regnilmerM: Alaric is Gossip Girl!
@caulkcrinolines: I’d definitely rather watch the Salvatore brothers on a road trip than Elena’s interactions with either of them. #TVD
@dieslaughing #TVD Team Work: Giving me a #ladyboner since 2009.
@AbbyGraham If I were Caroline and lived through this damn episode, I’d be taking Klaus up on his offer to GET OUT OF THAT DAMN TOWN. #TVD
@thomascgalvin Ok, the Siege of Fort Gilbert might be my favorite thing this show has ever done. #TVD
@libraryofbird Klaus must have been a terrible paperboy. #TVD