You guys, we clearly had entirely too many emotions and thoughts for one episode. So we’ll just jump right into the reactions.
One of our regular guests, Stephanie, couldn’t make it to the reactions this week, so we have some comments in HER spirit like we did for Cin last week. Cin is back, though, and with a FIRE. So let’s get to it!
Main Players: Cin, Christina and Abby (SBH staff); Dayna, Melissa, Spirit of Cin (SBH contributors and friends).
Always and Forever: The Original BAMF
Cin: Elijah wins EVERYTHING. And he lives!!! You guys, I just – ok, so I made a deal with the TV gods, that if Elijah lived I’d be A-okay with absolutely anything else that happened in the episode, and guess what – I’m keeping that promise. And how AH-MAH-ZING was he?!? He was more than amazing, he was perfect. He was perfectly perfect Elijah. *DIES OF SQUEE*
Christina: We knew it! We knew Elijah was smart enough to realize that Elena was lying to him!
Dayna: Elijah was a motherfucking BOSS. Seriously. He just owns the world.
Abby: Using his vampire senses! Stomping through the ground! ELIJAH IS THE BEST THING EVER. I was ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED that he was going to kill himself at the end, or ask to be daggered. It seems out of character, but he was so depressed and the episode was so INSANE that I just had no idea what might happen.
Cin: The depression over screwing with Princess Gilbert was my one tiny flaw with him this episode. But screw it. He’s alive and off in Europe cultivating Original BAMF-ery and I’m walking on f-ing sunshine.
Christina: And thank FUCK he is alive. JESUS CHRIST if he had died…. I can’t… I can’t even BEGIN to express what the fuck I would have done. You guys, I decided this week that if they killed Elijah, I would be done with this show. There are other characters that I like, like Klaus and Caroline (and I basically live for the two of them together right now), but if my precious Elijah had been forced to leave us… all emotional involvement would have dissipated. I just know it.
Cin: I not only decided that, I stated it publicly on twitter. Elijah is my line in the sand. He doesn’t have to be on the show all the time, as long as he’s alive and well in the universe I can breath easier. I mean, I WANT him with us all the time – but if my choices are him off camera, daggered, or final death — umm, yeah. Off camera works for me just fine.
Dayna: I had to ask a Canadian about 20 minutes in if he survived or not. I could NOT deal with it. Couldn’t. I was in A State. WTF was that Klaus said about Elijah leaving, though? Like, what in the ACTUAL fuck?
Abby: I wouldn’t worry too terribly much. Mystic Falls is like the Hotel freaking California, complete with pink champagne. Nobody ever REALLY leaves. Die? Yes. Leave? No.
Dayna: The note, you guys. The note! And you just know the handwriting was all fancy and perfect, and it smelled like really expensive cologne.
Christina: Hahaha. The fancy writing is a given. It probably smelled all manly. It smelled like how a man is SUPPOSED to smell. Elijah is like the Original Old Spice Guy.
Dayna: I liked what they did at the end as far as character development and Elijah’s little shame spiral, but… that’s kinda why we LIKE him. He Gets Shit Done. I want him to be around for a long time and therefore integrate-able with the rest, but I don’t want him defanged, you know?
Cin: His pity party of one over his ‘honor’ slipping not withstanding, maybe gallivanting with Kol in Europe will help him find his fun. I know I won’t think about him being all emo in some loft in Paris. No. In my mind he’s off being his BAMF self and getting his siblings all acclimated with the times. He’ll be back. And when he is, I hope he still has his edge for sure. I mean, he’s at his best when he’s the master of all things and he must know that.
Dayna: I said this over at OCTV too, but I think this is going to force Elijah to balance his mental checkbook, as it were. Yes, he values honor and nobility, but there are some things, like protecting his family, that are of a higher imperative to him, and he needs to reconcile that within himself, because sometimes he won’t be able to afford the luxury of acting honorably. If anyone is capable of Owning His Shit, though, it’s Elijah.
Melissa: I don’t really mind Elijah sulking over his honor because that’s such a big thing with him. But I’d like to imagine that he goes and visits some wise sensai and then returns realizing that just as there is honor in revenge, there can still be honor in doing anything to protect your family. That and if he’s going to join the Elena parade, he needs to learn that she forgives everyone so he really doesn’t need to worry. But um how about he figures that out, has a little fun with Kol and then comes back to inform the rest of them that they’re leaving to be bamfs and take over the world on their own show in New York. Gossip Girl is probably ending so Rebekah can be the new Blair (with a little mopey Serena), Klaus can be Dan – writing and moping over his lost love, Kol is clearly Chuck, Finn can be Vanessa – the ugly one no one cares about – and Elijah will be Gossip Girl because he knows everything and is awesome. (ALSO, I AM CURRENTLY CAFFEINE FREE SO YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND THINK WHAT THE FUCK MELISSA.)
Christina: “Finn can be Vanessa – the ugly one no one cares about.” AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Cin: WTF, Melissa. ROFL! I’m sorry I just don’t get the GG comparisons at all. Like, each one is a reach for me at best. But it could be worse, you could be trying to compare them to that god awful OTH crap.
Melissa: I wouldn’t do that. Kol would eat the OTH characters for elevensies. And maybe the 90210 kids for second breakfast.
Spirit of Steph: LOL! I’ll say it again: The LotR/TVD crossover needs to happen!
Cin: ELEVENSIES!!!!!!! *falls off chair* Let’s be honest, the Original siblings would feast on any and all CW show characters. Heck, even back in the days of BtVS & Angel : dust. Human & vamps alike would be dust. I mean, they can STOMP HOLES IN THE EARTH, MELISSA!
Melissa: Alright, alright fair point. I got coffee now so I can be more intelligent. But you’re right, I love Angel and love Angelus even more and Klaus would take one look at Angelus and be all bitch please, you couldn’t come close to the kind of torture I inflict on your best day. But then Klaus would get all excited about having a mentee and he’d start teaching Angelus. Someone write that fanfic.
Cin: I need Original fanfic period. I’m going on a hunt this weekend and if it’s nothing but subpar shit – I’m going to be a very angry Cin.
Dayna: On it. It’s my 4-week hiatus project. There’s a little character sketch that’s been beating against my brain since last week’s ep that I’ll probably draft this weekend.
Cin: Squee forever!!! Make sure and let me know when you get it up. I’ll take more than an Original itch to get me out of my Roswell fanfic utopia where I have resided for the past 6 months. lol
Christina: Thank the lord, Klaus lives! Even though I didn’t really expect it to work, if Esther’s plan HAD worked… boy, he’s were going to fucking ROLL. Klaus is safe. Good. Good.
Abby: Loved Klaus’s swagger at the end. Elijah’s all noble and determined and there’s Klaus, just “SHUT UP AND LET’S GET WITH THE KILLING.” Fantastic.
Cin: Word, Abby. I was like ‘Hell to the YES!’ with Klaus being all pissy and full of vengence. And standing there with Kol & Elijah… *sigh* I really need this Original show ya’ll. (more on that laters though)
Dayna: I need to look and see who directed this episode, [it was Pascal Verschooris] because there were some things that they did with the blocking that I really, really liked. That scene with their mother was one of them. Elijah and Kol had that vampire stillness thing going on, while Klaus stalked around the outside of the circle and looked FOR ALL THE WORLD like a wolf. The visual look to that scene was amazing.
Cin: I totally agree, Dayna. There were quite a few shots in this episode where I was like ‘bravo’ and usually on this show it’s more the opposite (mostly because of the poor makeup on Somerhalder). So yeah, he’s been a producer on the show since the beginning so maybe he’s been taking mental notes on how he wanted it to look. Either way, I want him back in the directors chair for sure.
Melissa: Definitely agree Dayna. The way the director and Joseph clearly added the animalistic aspect were fantastic. Its these small bits of continuity that make me overlook other frustrating issues because there’s consistency.
Christina: Oh, god. Klaus and Caroline outside the Grill. “I’m too smart to be seduced by you.” “Well, that’s why I like you.” Passive voice again, OH GOD I CAN’T EVEN YOU GUYS THERE ARE NO WORDS AND YET SO MANY EMOTIONS AHHHHHHHH #icant The squee is too powerful. Can’t. Breathe.
Abby: They are SO adorable. And now Klaus is SO mad, because he’s not an idiot and knows he’s been played. Ugh. My heart, you guys. It’s like it goes through a blender every week.
Cin: So much word. I’m beyond even articulating how squee-worthy all of this was. It was f-ing perfect!
Melissa: I can’t even begin with Klaus and Caroline. I’ve been making posters of them to Jane Austen quotes all fucking night. I mean, oh my gosh. He wants to know her hopes and dreams. He thinks she’s stunning. KLAUS EVEN SAID (BASICALLY) THAT HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO QUIT HER. And I know he’s upset but honestly he tried to kill her twice so I really hope Caroline brings that up and is like fair is fair, I owed you an assassination attempt, I still have one left, then we’ll be even. He can forgive her and then they go off and dance and make beautiful babies.
Dayna: Were they all pictures of Caroline? I thought maybe there was a family one that included Esther that he was burning. Need to rewatch. Again. #NotAHardship
Christina: Melissa, I am totally with you, yet again. She needs to bring that shit up, and then they can live happily ever after. And fuck making “beautiful babies,” I just need them to make hot dirty sex, amiright?
Melissa: Well I meant make beautiful babies via hot dirty sex. But I guess as vampires they can’t do that so just the sex then. Not that this is ever a problem.
Spirit of Steph: Will there be more pearl necklaces?
Christina: There better be. More than you can count.
Dayna: I like what Thomas said about this ep being a back-door pilot for the spin-off. I wish I could think of a non-obnoxious way to pester the hell out of Julie Plec about this. Also: if this were to happen? This episode TOTALLY sets Elijah up as the “hero” of that show, AMIRIGHT?!!
Christina: I’m sure she knows it would be wildly successful. It’s all anyone is talking about this week! And deservedly so! THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN! We have been crying this practically ALL season!
Cin: I mean, the Elijah & Klaus are OBVIOUS, but you guys, Kol called Rebekah a ‘stumpet’ – I mean, isn’t that reason enough? Yes. Yes it is.
Abby: I thought seeing the Original siblings interacting, if only a brief glimpse, was delightful. I’d watch the hell out of that show. Kol is deliciously snarky. It’s just so fun to see them all being so…normal. And yet not normal. Am I making sense? I’m sorry. I have TOO MANY FEELINGS.
Cin: You are making total sense to me Abby. I felt the exact same way. THIS is the show I really want to see. This is the family we have all been craving. Tons of different dynamics and personalities. I mean, can I gush about Kol for just a second: He is like soooooooo the Damon of the Original Spinoff, but even better because like he’s a nasty dirty sexy boy. Damon has always been playful and occasionally dirty, but Kol is just nast-ay. And I need that shit in my life. [Melissa: ME TOO. I NEED IT BAD.] And Elijah *sigh*, Elijah is like the sensible smart one keeping everybody alive with his mind and his awesomeness. Klaus is the spoiled brat who gets them into trouble but is also their most powerful weapon to get them out. I even buy into Rebekah now. Her moment with the gasoline was f-ing brilliant. Plus she holds her own pretty well with her brothers and it just all works on so many levels.
Melissa: Ya’ll could just pester the hell out of Mark Pedowitz for the spinoff. And yes, Abby you make perfect sense. Just the comedy of it all was great. And its like they can push the boundaries of inappropriate sibling behavior because they’ve got 1000 years of being around each other. They’re going to push the buttons more than most. And Klaus clearly loves all of his siblings (except Finn) [Christina: HAHAHA does ANYONE besides Esther love him? So sad.] so just the whole banter and snark and affection thing is amazing. I GET YOU AND SHARE YOUR FEELINGS.
Dayna: I finally felt a little, tiny flicker of liking for Kol with the “This house has too many men rolling around in it.” “Just like you, sister!” exchange. Bwah! I find it hilarious that it wasn’t so much that Kol was this billy-badass that made Elijah and Klaus pale at him being undaggered, it was what a complete, unmitigated DICK he is. Awesome.
Abby: Seriously. Here we all were fretting about him destroying everything and the truth is that nobody wanted to put up with the obnoxious little brother. HILARIOUS.
Christina: Haha, Cole is a loose canon. And I bet he was a tattletale when he was younger. I bet Cole’s the one who alerted Mikael to the fact that Elijah and Klaus were sword fighting, the little shit. Ruin all our fun.
Cin: Hey, I happen to love that Cole/Kol is a little shit. Honestly, if someone is going be bratty, at least they can be dirty about it. Plus he’s so yummy. God, I want to climb him like a f-ing tree!
Melissa: Last week told us that Kol was older than Rebekah right? So Klaus is the middle child. But in a way, I get the feeling that Kol acts out because he doesn’t get the attention of his siblings. Sure they go out drinking but when it comes to serious conversations, Kol is clearly the odd man out. (Of the younger four. Finn’s “I want to be just like Daddy” attitude means he just doesn’t belong). Seems like it explains a lot about Kol. But I do agree that its kind of funny that he wasn’t so much awesomely badass as he is just an ass. Though he does still seem potentially badass. And he thinks Caroline’s hot so it works for me. DEAR ORIGINAL SPINOFF, PLEASE TAKE CAROLINE WITH YOU.
Cin: YES!!! If they take Caroline with them though I’ll have no need for anything else on TVD… Then again, part of the problem with the Originals being on TVD is that they have overshadowed every other character. We have been saying this all year, like, why are the Salvatores alive? They could snap them like twigs. Why would Klaus ‘need’ Rippah Stefan? I mean, I never think we got a clear picture on that – he’s the Hybrid King. Why would he need a blood crazed regular vampire henchman? They have created these rich awesome characters with so much potential, but in the framework of TVD they are almost TOO rich and big. And in they have overshadowed the regular characters. To do away with them would be insanity because the fandom would like, literally, have a bunch of baby ducklings — but they have GOT to have a solution as to why the rest of the show works now. The only way to really do that is to spin off. It’s a win win.
Christina: Cin, Klaus had his blood-crazed regular vampire henchman Stefan because they were friends once, and we all know how Klaus is hard up for some friends. It was a companion he could compel, which is so sad. But now that he knows Caroline, I think she could be his non-compelled companion and everything will be peachy!
Cin: True, but do they really ‘need’ any of TVD characters (Caroline not included)? No. They don’t. Klaus is lonely no longer. He has proper playmates and I’m sorry, but that dirty little brother Kol is just so much more fun than Rippah Stefan. I loved the Rippah, but he was messy and still a bit brooding. Plus you had that whole side of ‘still can’t trust him’ to contend with.
Melissa: I want all the Originals together but hell, if Gillies filming means he has to show up a little late to the party, I would watch the hell out of Caroline, Klaus and Kol partying their way through Europe.
Cin: That’s the spirit! Original mayhem FTW!
Abby: A thousand years of watching from The Other Side and she STILL based her plan on the reliability of Bennett Witches? Damn, Esther. I mean, I’m glad, because I don’t want that plan to work…but DAMN.
Christina: You would think that she, more than anyone, would have seen how crap they are, haha.
Dayna: Just goes to show that experience does not equate wisdom.
Christina: I’m actually really shocked at how poorly the planned worked. The set up was kind of cool, and I was pretty nervous that it was going to work, but damn. Oh, and when the Salvatores & Co. figured out how to diffuse her bomb… and she and DPR just sort of… disappeared? WTF was that shit? How fucking EASY was that? It was too easy, if you ask me. I don’t like, you guys. I don’t like it, and I don’t trust it, and it was just too fucking easy. Did I miss something?
Dayna: I think Mama and Finn are regrouping. Like, the siblings ARE still all linked; that hasn’t been undone. What Mama lost was her power line. She was drawing power from the Bennett bloodline, living and dead. But by turning Abby, Damon snapped the powerline, so now the only power Mama has access to is Bonnie. And that’s not going to be enough to get it done. The threat is most definitely still out there though; the link is still in place, and that leaves the door open for Esther to return with some other power supply to try again in the future.
Christina: Well, shit. Now I’m CONVINCED I’m watching (or not watching) a different show than everyone else because I didn’t realize they willingly disappeared at all. BUT that makes a lot of sense. Though, if Bonnie is her only connection to power, she is fucked! HAHAHAHA.
Dayna: Same way Elijah vanished with Klaus in “As I Lay Dying;” Finn grabbed Mama and sped out of there. Gotta leave an ongoing threat arc to start their own series with. I WILL wish it into being.
Christina: Oh, they vampsped away. I thought they just *POOF* disappeared. Also, you are so right. They gotta leave an opening for the spinoff!
Melissa: I was totally confused by how Finn & Mama got away too. I kept thinking they sent her back to the other side but I guess they were just stopping the spell. Those scenes were almost too fast. Although on the whole reliability of Bennett witches, technically Mama Original was just siphoning their power (and their ancestors’ power) so clearly she knew better than to actually let them do anything. Esther just forgot to take into account that the Salvatore brothers like to get creative.
Christina: When are people going to stop underestimating them? They’re pretty, but they’re not (always) dumb.
Melissa: And they listen. Those little lines that seem throw away to a lot of viewers (although not us because we obsess over everything) are exactly the kind of secrets and loopholes that the Salvatores remember.
Cin: I just rewatched. When she felt the power line from the Bennetts surge, Finn did vamp them out of dodge. So yeah, they are regrouping. What sucks about that is, that’s even more reason why the Original siblings should have stuck together. Then again, all of the daggers are accounted for in MF — or at least they f-ing should all be in Klaus’ possession now — so there is no way to really hurt them enough to incapacitate them. Unless there is. I missed how Momma O was planning on actually doing the group murdering? The dagger was all Damon.
Melissa: Oooh yeah that’s right now Klaus has all the daggers. Good. Damon’s too young to play with sharp objects. However on Mama O’s side, she was planning on turning them human, then killing them. The spell would take away their vampire nature. Then they could be killed. & the link would take out Klaus because his werewolf nature would still be around but I guess the link spell could overcome it. I’m still a little fuzzy on that but it was turn to human, then kill. But also now they can be killed (dead forever killed) because of the white oak ash tree that Rebekah learned about from the cave. Which really Alaric? You couldn’t figure out translating that shit by now?
Cin: Turn them human?!? That’s super fucking lame! Stupid tree. And yeah, there is just speculation of a tree right now, but you know, DRAMA.
Melissa: Yeah I guess it is just speculation of a tree. Wouldn’t they have noticed it by now though if the tree is just hanging out in Mystic Falls? Though you know its just going to end up being that there’s only one stake left. Stupid. I also think the whole human thing is lame but if it only comes up as part of Esther’s first try in the mommy murder mystery, and isn’t brought up again without some serious explanation, I can make my peace with it. But I wasn’t real happy with the whole spell thing period. It felt like it moved too quickly and was resolved too fast for all the hype put into the episode.
Counter Attack Shenanigans
Dayna: Color ME impressed that Elijah came up with that plan so quickly. “Hmm, mom wants to completely screw us.” Foot-stomp, Elena kidnapping powers activate! (TM Thomas Galvin)
Cin: He’s Elijah, Dayna. #duh. He knows that the only way to control anything in this town is via Saint Elena, so he went for the jugular. Reeling in Rebekah was smart. I just wonder if he didn’t ask Kol to keep Klaus occupied so he wouldn’t be gumming up his works.
Dayna: No, Klaus and Kol went to the Grill before Elijah’s tete-a-tete with Elena.
Cin: True, BUT before he even went to Elena’s he had gotten Rebekah on board. I think he was waiting until all of his siblings fell into place and he could move them how & where they needed to be before he activated via Foot-Stomp of BAMFdom.
Dayna: He was certainly suspicious but I don’t know if even he suspected just how far Esther was willing to go. Once he got things rolling, though… OMG, how awesome was he, sitting all calmly in front of the Salvatore fireplace and telling them how shit was gonna be?
Cin: But he had Rebekah in the underground lair already. She was set to go with the plan, so he very well could have had Kol up to speed as well. But YES! The Masterpiece Theater moment in front of the fireplace was magical and OMG! I totally swooned big f-ing time.
Abby: Amen. Elijah could spend all his time sitting in elegant chairs making threats and I would watch it. Hell, I’d buy the DVDs.
Cin: I’d buy the DVDs, marathon them and throw parties. ELIJAH PARTIES YA’LL!!! [Dayna: I. Am. So. THERE.]
Christina: Ain’t no party like an Elijah party. Hey! Ho!
Dayna: Elena was unconscious for a while. My assumption was that during that time was when Elijah got Rebekah over there.
Cin: You could be right, I need to rewatch, but even so I think Elijah had most of his ducks in a row before he ever looked Elena in the eye that morning. He had a clear mission that’s for sure. I can’t imagine what she could have said that would have stopped him from trying to save himself and his siblings, and he knew she was the only way to do it.
Dayna: Part of me wonders how he might have approached things if she had taken the opportunity their little jaunt offered to come clean. Because that’s exactly what I think he was doing: giving her the chance to ‘fess up. If she had, would he have asked her to play along with his plan, rather than kidnapping her and giving the Salvatores the ultimatum?
Cin: That is true, but he led her to that spot, he had to have had his ‘plan’ in motion. And even after she was found out by him he knew he had to carry through because in order for the Original siblings to get out of this mess he knew he needed leverage. There is no leverage in MF greater than Elena f-ing Gilbert. So yeah, no matter the outcome, he was going to use her. It all boiled down to how cooperative she would be – and knowing that offing witches was involved he had to know that she wouldn’t take the easy road.
Melissa: Someone on twitter mentioned that Elijah must have seen the sage (which I didn’t notice or think of – sorry my brain was full of Klaroline) and been suspicious. So yeah he had to have had his plan ready to go either way. Though I bet he always planned on dropping Elena into the cave. She said she wished she could could help and he foot stomped like a mother fucking badass and dumped her in it. I think Elijah’s also known that while everyone is all “save Elena”, the Salvatore boys also aren’t big fans of Bonnie, so they really would find a way to get shit done. THOUGH THEY COULD HAVE JUST KILLED THE BENNETTS.
Dayna: Yeah, he showed the sage to Rebekah, who at that point seemed intent on dismissing it (denial much?) but he knew Mama was up to SOMETHING.
Let The Wrong One Live
Christina: You guys. I. Am. Pissed. Damon, goddamit. Why did you have to turn Abby into a vampire? Not only does that mean that she’s going to fucking survive, and thus probably still be around (though, god I hope Bonnie hates her guts because of it — because that would SO be something Bonnie would do: hate someone because of something they can’t control)… but he fucking DIDN’T GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING KILL THAT CUNTWEASEL BONNIE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #RAGEBLACKOUT
Dayna: I didn’t think they would actually allow Bonnie to be killed, but I DID hope for a fraction of a second.
Christina: Oh, I didn’t expect it to happen either, but a girl can DREAM, Dayna! A GIRL CAN DREAM!
Abby: I think it would’ve been more powerful if they’d killed off both witches, or taken Bonnie’s powers. I feel like this is a recycle of Grams’ death. I did love how smart the Salvatores were about the whole thing, though. It didn’t occur to me to make anyone a vampire. Smart boys!
Melissa: Okay I really need to talk about this but I need to have like a semi-serious talk because I’m trying to make sure this all makes sense in my head. And I’m hoping that ya’ll’s excitement over Elijah & Klaus being alive has you in a good enough mood to set aside a teensy bit of “die, Bonnie, die” syndrome. Anyway, I feel like the show would have been smarter if they had killed Bonnie (and Abby). Not in a sense of just get rid of her but for the sake of the show. There’s obviously a problem with the way black people are being portrayed on the show. EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT IT. There’s a problem with the way Bonnie’s been written on the show. EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT THAT. Even Kat Graham, in the occasional interview I read, seems to be frustrated with the whole situation. And I don’t think this is really something that TVD can fix but more importantly (and sadly worse), I don’t think its something they care about fixing. So there’s a part of me that thinks it would have made more sense to simply kill Bonnie. Yes there would be a severe backlash but then we move on. It just seems like maybe the show would be better served to just cut the character rather than keep trying to tell us why she’s important. At this point, no matter who played Bonnie, the character has been so decimated that I don’t see most people caring. For the sake of the show, I think she needs to die. Maybe she can have a better story on the other side.
Dayna: I totally agree with you, Melissa. It would have had more impact AND would have addressed the issues you bring up.
Christina: Thank you assuming that I’m a good enough person to let my Elijah and Klaus squee allow me set aside my DBD syndrome. You’re so sweet . Sadly, I’m not. BUT, I will say that I TOTALLY agree with you, Melissa. The reasons I want her dead are twofold: 1) I HATE HER STINKING GUTS, 2) Everything that you just said. The reason I hate Bonnie so much is the way she’s written. She has been pretty useless the entire series. She started out with a purpose, but then she just got holier than thou, which annoys the shit out of me, and now she’s only halfway good at anything she tries. AND SHE GODDAMN WHINES ABOUT IT. She is such a waste of focus on this show, and I don’t think there’s any coming back from what she’s become. They should have killed her too. Or hell, have her crash her car if they don’t want to blame it on anyone. But she needs to go. Then Kat Graham can concentrate on whatever it is that she does, and the rest of us can rejoice because Bonnie is no longer taking away screen time from someone who’s actually worth a damn.
Abby: Agreed. It’s the elephant in the room for sure. At this point, I feel like no matter what the show does about Bonnie, it’s in trouble with the fans, they’ve completely painted themselves into a corner. Honestly, I’m not sure what Bonnie adds to the story anymore as a character, except magic, self-righteousness, and another ‘my life is terrible’ storyline.
Christina: Look, Bonnie. Matty’s life is terrible too, and you don’t see HIM complaining. Word, Abby. She adds nothing. I kind of just want to climb into the TV and strangle her myself. OH! AND I ALMOST FORGOT! The fact that Bonnie is mad at Elena makes me LOL. Because Elena had Abby killed. God, Bonnie is the worst.
Melissa: Question. Not that we really care about the Bennetts but do we have any suspicion that a witch becoming a vampire will have different issues than a human becoming one? I don’t so much care about the Bennett’s feelings but I would be interested in repercussions for the hasty actions.
Christina: Well, they all seem to be convinced that if you’re a witch and you become a vampire, that you’re not a witch anymore. I would not at all be surprised if this turned out to be completely wrong. However, if they make Abby something more than just a vampire… so much aggravation. There is no need for this crap. I’m still disappointed that Damon didn’t just flat out kill her and her useless daughter.
Melissa: I don’t want her to be more than just a vampire, I want her to be a vampire with issues. If we have to see the storyline, I need more consequences than just another vampire on the show.
Melissa: Um, so Kol totally made the closest this show will ever get to a #rollinginthedeep joke right?
Dayna: I was so not into him, but if he wants to just hang around for the Original series (Gillies’ title-of-choice) to play the role of resident snark-master, I’m A-OK with that. He can be that show’s Damon. Someone has to get the awesome one-liners.
Cin: As I mentioned above, he said called her a ‘strumpet’. Kol WINS!
Abby: I like Kol. He probably Originated the “I’m not touching you!” game. On the very first car trip in the very first car, he was probably sitting in the back saying “Are we there yet?” over and over. I’m amazed Klaus didn’t dagger him until the 1900s. I mean, how many times has a sibling wanted to stuff his annoying little brother in a box and shut the lid?
Melissa: Didn’t Rebekah hint a while ago that she’s been daggered more than a few times over the centuries? I bet the same thing happened to Kol.
Abby: Awesome. So that’s where the concept of “time out” comes from.
Dayna: Since we’re in the ‘Sin’ section, can we talk for a second about just how much time/how many conversations Alaric and Elena seem to have about one or the other of their sex lives? Seriously, how is this not creepy?
Melissa: SO MUCH THIS. Those two need to stop it. For all the teasing between Kol & Rebekah, he didn’t ask her how it was. BOUNDARIES ELENA AND ALARIC.
Christina: Maybe Ernesto Riley/Kushitomo Fucky’s side-story about them being secret lovers isn’t so far off, then? Which first of all, please don’t go there, show. It’s funny to see him joke about it on Twitter, but I really don’t want to see that, for various reasons. 1) He’s her teacher, and just… I’m tired of it. 2) Elena’s vagina cannot be THAT goddamn magical. So, let’s just chalk it up to the both of them just being over-sharers and just tune them out, like I do. I mean, I only vaguely remember this happening, haha.
Dayna: Aaaaaand, back comes boring, emo Stefan. Yawn. That said, I liked the scenes we got with the brothers tonight. While on the face of it it’s a step backward to Damon-the-bad-guy, that’s really not the case. No eating random strangers on the roadside this time because Elena hurt his feelings; yes, he boffed Rebekah, but I’m cool with that. Elena has no claim on his fidelity. His feelings are functioning, but they’re not choking him anymore. I love this Damon. Yeah, I said it!
Spirit of Steph: Preach!!
Abby: I’m so sad about Stefan’s return to animal blood. I want him to stay badass forever. I’m a little annoyed with both brothers, honestly, we’re having way too much emo stuff with them. I mean, who the hell takes the time to toss a coin and have a deep discussion about love and honor when you’ve got very limited time to stop a magic ritual before the world’s oldest Mean Girl torches your girlfriend? Get with it, Salvatores! Stop this soul baring crap! A little of that goes a long way, and we’re getting way too much.
Melissa: I don’t understand Stefan’s return to animal blood actually. I too want him to stay badass but even before he went ripper, he was trying to learn to balance a human blood diet. It made him stronger and a better vampire. So I don’t understand this whole let’s send him to rehab and make him emo and bring him back to animal blood. I HAVE SEEN THIS STORY BEFORE ON THIS VERY SHOW. Ugh. Then there’s Damon who I partially appreciate better. I liked what Julie said about how Damon isn’t lashing out at the closest target, he’s focusing his anger. I mean yeah I think Rebekah was slightly a case of being right there but it is also a way to hurt Elena. And that’s growth. That’s not snapping Jeremy or Alaric’s neck. But both of them are emo, lovesick, and boring. There are more discussions of their emotions than a Dr. Phil segment on Oprah in the 90s. IT IS ABSURD.
Dayna: Now I suddenly want to see the Salvatores on the Dr. Phil show. Maybe the Winchesters could join them. It could be a show on dysfunctional sibling co-dependence or some shit.
Melissa: Heh. I’d watch that. Oh man and then beyond the My Chemical Romance soundtrack that now plays in my head whenever I see the Salvatore brothers together (not a good soundtrack), I’m raving pissed at them for their whole flip a coin for Elena shit. Because if Elena doesn’t see this stuff and get a chance to tell them off and make sure they know good and well that she is not a toy to be scheduled for certain days of the week and can’t be picked by them, then it just ends up being scenes that turn the Salvatores into chauvinistic pigs. And I don’t like that for either of them. Both Damon and Stefan have been better than that. Stefan because he isn’t actually that much of an asshole and Damon because he’s usually too much of an asshole to care. I have a lot of rage in me regarding this topic.
Christina: As much as I hate on Elena, I can get behind this argument. It’s disgusting that they treat her like that when they supposedly love her. And this just makes me wonder if their love for her really isn’t pure like they insist it is, and really a leftover of the Katherine lust. I mean, this wouldn’t be too far off, and I wouldn’t be surprised at all to hear that this is the truth. At this point, I could give a shit about this love triangle. Give me Klaus and Caroline. And Elijah. That is all I need. I still love Stefan to death, but the triangle is so tired. And good, they both pick NOT Elena. Good for them. OH, and about Damon playing more emotionally with Elena than doing something like snapping Jeremy’s neck — I LIKE this new Damon. I like that he realizes that he can be much more calculated and fuck with someone more than doing something spontaneously that will hurt them. I mean, ugh. I like that Damon is doing this because it makes him so much more interesting, but at the same time, it’s horrible. Long-drawn out emotional torture blows, dude. But it makes Damon more interesting. Does that make he a horrible person?
Dayna: I liked it because it’s not just about him doing something to hurt her. Sure, I’m certain that deep down he WANTED it to be hurtful to her, but in a way it also puts some of the onus of whatever is between them on Elena, too. Unlike just turning around and snapping her brother’s neck, Elena has to be a somewhat willing participant in the dynamic between them. She has no right to be angry with him for sleeping with someone else. If she is angry and jealous, then she needs to own her part in the relationship.
Melissa: I’m not just sick of the triangle, I’m sick of the redundancy of the triangle. [Christina: Preach.][Cin: WORD!] We get it. Elena likes both boys and at barely 18 isn’t sure which one she likes best. Damon and Stefan love Elena, pretend they don’t, want to be better for her and love each other best of all. WE’VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE. I can be invested in the triangle if I get something new out of it. And yes, I like the idea of a Damon who is manipulating Elena’s feelings maliciously rather than randomly. Because that feels like Damon to me. It feels like a vampire. So I don’t like when he joins in the flip a coin business because it puts his emo brood by the fireplace attitude right back in the forefront. Let him be the asshole we all know and love.
Melissa: I have a need to talk about the Elena/Caroline/Bonnie scenes. I was really happy about the first scene between the three girls when they were working on the sage spell. The girlfriend time is one of my favorite things about the show, even more than the brother dynamic. (not more than the Originals though obviously). But the second scene, with Bonnie not wanting to talk to Elena, that had me frustrated. Its just on the one hand, I get it. Like Caroline said, people choose to help Elena and they end up hurt. And that’s not easy so Elena needs to face that. But at the same time Bonnie needs to face the fact that she’s not the only one hurt in these schemes. No one in Mystic Falls has had a normal life in the last year. Bonnie’s not the odd man out. Which of course makes me want to rant at Bonnie. But then I get annoyed at the show because rather than really let us in on Bonnie’s pain (like we should’ve gotten when Grams died) it becomes about how Elena’s feelings are hurt. I had the same issue a couple weeks ago when rather than see Caroline with her dad, we just hear about how Elena doesn’t want to lose more family. I get that Elena’s a centerpoint to the show but if we’re supposed to be invested in other characters, we need the time with them. On top of that, I still have to remind myself sometimes of just how much Elena’s lost (because she too has lost a lot in the last year). Gosh this is a long thought. Okay so I have issues with how the show is writing the dynamic. But more importantly, I have concerns about the girls. I feel like they need to have like a girls spa weekend and hash out a lot of these issues. Take ownership of their actions and choices and move on. And it pisses me off that the show is just making Caroline mediate rather than really dig into these problems. I probably have more to say but I’ll let ya’ll throw stuff in before I get there.
Christina: I have a lot of thoughts on this too (when don’t I? haha). First you have the Caroline in the middle thing. Caroline has a LOT OF SHIT to deal with right now, and I hate that she’s stuck in the middle of this shit. She’s basically telling Elena everything that Bonnie needs to fucking get off her ass, woman up and tell to Elena her own damn self. Speaking of, and I mentioned this somewhere else in the reactions… probably in the Bonnie section… one of the things that bothers me the most about her is that she fucking WHINES ABOUT HER PITY PARTY LIFE. And it’s not like she is the only one suffering, like you said. Matt has a shitty life. His father is who knows, his mother is MIA, and his sister is DEAD. He goes to school, supports himself by busing tables at the Grill, AND he still manages to get dragged into this shit. Elena lost her entire family. Her parents died, and then her REAL parents died, and then she sent her brother/cousin to Colorado. And now all she has left is Alaric the Alcoholic, who is currently obsessed with a psycho and shot and/or possibly dead. Other people have goddamn problems, Bonnie. The only — THE ONLY — time I ever shed a tear for Bonnie was back in Season 1 when Grams died. That fucking sucked, man. But ever since then — and I’m not saying I wouldn’t feel resentment too — but ever since then, she has been… such a bitch. Sorry for stating it like that, but she has been in full-on pity party mode since then. And sometimes she’s okay, sometimes she likes Elena, sometimes she’s on a homicidal streak trying to kill the Salvatores, sometimes I think maybe she liked Damon, sometimes she’s friends with everyone again, sometimes she hates her mom, and now she fucking hates Elena because the mom she hated two days ago got turned into a vampire — something that Elena had nothing to do with?! I HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH. UGHHHHHHHH. Sorry. JESUS I didn’t know I had that in me, haha. And Elena — well, Elena with her magical vagina DOES get people involved in things trying to help her and they get hurt. It’s not totally her fault, though. And she does make the effort to sacrifice herself, though lord knows I’m tired of Saint Elena, Martyr of Mystic Falls.
Melissa: I love you right now. And again, this is why the writers are pissing me off about Bonnie. If Caroline bitches, I cheer for her. If Elena bitches, I don’t necessarily cheer but I do take the time to figure out why Elena reacts that way. If Bonnie bitches I just hate her. And that’s not fair to the character and its not fair to us as viewers. I am quite certain that a big part of the reason I hate Bonnie is because I never get to see her pain. At this point, I don’t give a flying fuck about Bonnie’s pain but I’m smart enough to realize that’s the show’s fault. Every single time we could get insight into Bonnie, she’s taken offscreen. And as a result I can’t stand her. It really pisses me off to be in this situation. (Though I’ll never fully forgive her for her treatment of Caroline in the beginning of S2 because that can’t be excused by a family death). I’m not trying in any way to be a Bonnie fan but I’m really fucking pissed that the show keeps trying to act like we should care when we’ve never been given the scenes to get there. And then on Elena. I mean ya’ll know I like Elena. The girl has been through a lot of shit. I’m torn though. On the one hand, I’m reminded that Elena doesn’t ask people to help her all the time. She’s resourceful and self-sacrificing to the point of extremes if necessary. She doesn’t sit on a throne and tell people to do anything and sacrifice everything to save her. That’s not who Elena is. But at the same time, Jeremy’s departure brought up a good point that I wish Elena would consider. Jeremy said he wanted to leave Mystic Falls and she told him he should. And then Jeremy was like I can’t actually leave you alone and in danger. And that’s what Elena needs to start thinking about. Yes, she’s making her own choices and no she’s not asking people to help her but these are her friends and family. People who love you don’t just leave you to face life, or danger, on your own. They stick by you. And it seems like Elena needs to start processing the fact that by choosing to stay mixed up with the vampires, she is inadvertently forcing her loved ones to be involved. These things have to be dealt with and it feels like they start with her girlfriends. AND I STILL NEED ELENA TO APOLOGIZE FOR NOT GETTING CAROLINE AWAY FROM DAMON SOONER. UGH.
Christina: Well, that’s why she sent Jeremy to Colorado. To GET him away from this situation. So even though she used shady methods (compulsion), she did it for the right reasons. Ugh, now I sound like an Elena fan when really I don’t like her, haha. My problem is just that it’s the same story every time: Elena the Martyr. I’m just tired of it, and her self-righteousness (though Bonnie’s is worse). That’s why I just need Originals + Caroline ALL THE TIME.
Melissa: Originals and Caroline would be perfection. I’m actually really on board with Elena’s reasoning for getting Jeremy out. I even said in a blog post that she was supporting his real choice to get away. But she can’t compel everyone. So I want there to be a moment of her understanding that she is asking for a sacrifice from her friends. She doesn’t have to stop asking, just acknowledge what she is doing. And I want the self-righteousness to stick to being directed towards the Salvatores. She wants to fuck with them more power to her. THEY LET HER. ITS PATHETIC. I thought she had every right to get on Damon’s case after he slept with Rebekah because she knows him, she knows that no matter what he says, he’ll jump when she says jump. So that self-righteousness? Totally earned because the Salvatores give it to her hand over fist. But the self-righteousness towards her friends? That has to go. I want these girlfriend issues (and deeper underlying issues) resolved now because when Caroline starts dating Klaus, Bonnie & Elena are going to go off on her and I simply won’t stand for that.
Christina: Exactly. Which is why I hate Bonnie and Elena. Just leave me Caroline and Klaus (and Elijah). I’ll be happy
Melissa: Ugh ya’ll. I am just so disappointed at the idea that Meredith is the serial killer. Not that I had to be right with my theory (which apparently I need to read more spoilers) but this is just so blah. People have been wanting Meredith since the beginning and she’s a random serial killer? I’m not saying we all had to fall in love with her but why does she have to be so on the other scale of things? I’m just really not happy about this.
Christina: I’m really disappointed too. Mostly I’m disappointed over the fact that there IS a serial killer at all because of all the things this town DOESN’T need… But as soon as she said to Ric at the Grill “Does he still think I’m a psycho killer” or whatever she said, I thought “Welp, it’s official. Because whenever someone says something dismissive like that, it means they are definitely the serial killer.” I want more Originals. I don’t need another killer. I think it would have been more interested if it were Kathi. Because then we’d be like, “WTF is this crazy bitch up to now?!” But instead we’re just like “Oh, great,” all sarcastic-like.
Cin: I totally agree. It’s just lame and boring. And SUCH a waste of book Meredith. The fact that she’s a Fell should have been our first clue that lameness would follow. Well, that and she was cavorting with Ric. lol
Dayna: I’m so confused by this serial killer thing. And the killing Alaric is getting totally ridiculous. I’m seriously going to start calling him Kenny.
Abby: Honestly? I don’t care about the serial kill storyline. I just don’t. I’m not invested in it. I’m not even all that concerned about Alaric, he’s been so sidelined that apart from the occasional snarkfests with Damon and getting killed a lot, he doesn’t do much. In some ways I think it might be easier if the show cut down on characters, so we could get more about storylines that are working well and less sideline stuff. There’s probably some kind of grand plan going on, but I have a bit of plot exhaustion right now.
Dayna: The only way I was going to care about this storyline was if it turned out that ALARIC was doing the killings during his blackouts. And I suppose it could still go that way, but it’s looking bleak. Therefore, me-no-likey.
Christina: It would be AWESOME if Alaric finally snapped and he was doing the killings himself. But I’m with you, Abby. There are so many characters and so many storylines that just don’t matter anymore. Or at least I don’t feel like they matter. I love Alaric, and I really don’t want him to die, but the whole “OMG ALARIC MIGHT DIE!” is getting old. I know one of these times his ring isn’t going to save him, but it makes me more sad that we’ve played this game before than sad that he got hurt yet again. Caroline should just kill Meredith. Take her out. End it. Perfect. Done and resolved.
Melissa: What sucks too is that even if it had been a character we were more invested with, its hard to care in the face of the Originals. [Cin: RIGHT?!? That’s what I’m screamin!] Technically, that’s just a problem all around for the show right now. The Originals are great but they are so great that it detracts from the main characters. And so with this whole psycho killer thing, my thoughts tend to be yeah, yeah, whatever, go back to Klaus & Kol boys nights. I just think that we need to have closure on the Originals first. Figure out a way to wrap up Klaus & Elena’s storyline so they can make some sort of deal and let the Originals move on to a spinoff. I mean, I hate the idea of the Originals leaving but they really have to if anyone is going to be able to be invested in a storyline about a serial killer or really any character that isn’t Caroline or Ripper Stefan (RIP).
Dayna: It’s true. Having them on one show is stifling both (all) of the storylines, and it’s doing a disservice to ALL of the characters. My biggest fear if they try to move the Originals out and onto their own show NOW is that TVD fandom-proper will feel cheated because Elena and Co. don’t get to ultimately defeat (i.e. kill) Klaus. I’m not sure it would feel like much of a closure if all they do is get him to leave Mystic Falls, and if Kevin and Julie are afraid of a backlash from that then it could quash any realistic optioning of an Originals spinoff. Shit. I don’t want to be realistic here. Someone slap me!
Melissa: *SLAP*. But I get what you’re saying. This is why I liked the idea of Mama O or a bigger evil stepping in. I feel like if there can be an enemy that forces the Originals & MF Scoobies to work together, in the end a deal could be worked out. Like maybe Elena realizes that having the Originals on her side to protect her (as the doppelganger of the magical golden vagina) is a good thing so she makes a deal with Klaus. Once a year he gets a blood bag (it obviously doesn’t take much to turn a hybrid) and in return, they leave but she can call them if needed. I know on paper that feels like a really nice tidy bow but I feel like with the right hardfought battle beforehand, it could work out in the end. Plus at this point the Salvatores haven’t defeated the Originals yet. I have a hard time imagining a believable way they’ll be able to do that.
From the Tweetosphere
@B_inShortsville: Boring-twin powers activate!
@thomascgalvin: Stefan, *this* is not the time to start having feelings and regrets and shit. Shut up, fang out, and kill yourself a Bennet. #TVD
@Snowballx: GOD DAMMIT ELENA! U DUMB BITCH! #TVD
@thomascgalvin: This episode is basically a backdoor pilot to Originals: The Series, right? #TVD #MakeItHappen #iHaveKnives
@B_inShortsville: Gasoline doesn’t need an invitation. #TVD
@thomascgalvin: Elijah is a prince and if you touch him I will cut you. #TVD
@JBALAN: Wait…it’s Elena’s fault? Bonnie…you’re an idiot. Ugh.
@PhantomRat: A hand written note of apology? Elijah *is* Emily Post.
@speedmouse If there were a weekly drinking game entirely based on [Elena] making smart moves, I’d be sober as a nun on Sunday every Thursday.
@onlymystory: REBEKAH IS CALLING OUT ELENA’S MAGICAL GOLDEN VAGINA. CAN WE KEEP HER FOREVER?
@CharWright5: An eternity of shame? Wtf did you do, Dread Pirate Roberts?! #TVD @theSBH
@dieslaughing: PISSED ELIJAH IS THE BEST THING EVER. FOR REAL, YOU GUYS. #SWOON #TVD
@clrumbaugh: Bonnie. You were already dead to me. Now you’re deader than dead. You’re final dead to me. #TVD
@cinjudes: They are making Elijah impart mishistorification! I. CAN’T. #TVD #Elijah
@theSBH I’ll tell you what sword I’d like to see Elijah weild. #waitwhat #tvd