Main Players: Cin, Christina and Abby (SBH staff); Dayna, Melissa, and Stephanie (SBH contributors and friends).
Like a BOSS
Cin: Ok, like, Elijah is not only back but he is OWNING THE EPISODE. As he always does. Did we expect anything less? No, I most certainly did not – but I can’t lie and say I cared about a single other thing going on in this entire episode except the scenes Elijah was in. The sunlight has been cast into my dark and dreary soul and with it, everything is beautiful. *sigh* And of course, he returns being all sly and watchful but then – BOOM! – he up and kicked the episode on it’s ass. I’m so serious, why isn’t he the focal point of the entire show? Elijah is perfect.
Dayna: Elijah may not have been able to properly kick Klaus’s ass when he first came out of the coffin, but DAMN! Undaggering everyone else, telling Klaus they were doing it HIS way now, reminding him that he would STILL be alone while the rest were together, and then throwing the “you’ll be just like our father” in his face? Woo!! Elijah for the mother-fucking-win-FOREVER.
Christina: Elijah was definitely the reason for all my out-loud “OH SHIT” moments this episode. Amazing. ALWAYS AND FOREVER.
Stephanie: Is it too late to get a fictional character on the presidential ticket?
Melissa: He’d be a better candidate than anyone else on the ticket. I need that stupid Canadian show to be canceled immediately so Gillies can be on the Original spinoff that I’m convinced must happen.So BAMF.
Cin: If he goes, I may actually die. I’m not even kidding. I COULD DIE!
Abby: He was perfect. NEVER LEAVE AGAIN, ELIJAH. NEVER.
Best Laid Plans
Abby: I love Klaus when he’s got swagger but the Original Family Beat Down was pretty excellent. Daniel Gillies and Joseph Morgan are really good at the whole sibling thing, they play off each other beautifully. I bought the complex relationship completely. There was a ‘little brother being pushed around by the other kids” thing that felt completely genuine…which is CRAZY when you consider all the terrible things that Klaus has done. Also, Elijah is even more badass when he has a posse, so let’s keep going with that, shall we?
Dayna: OMG, I loved how Elijah had a handkerchief handy (because OF COURSE he did), calmly wipes hybrid blood off of his hand, and then FULL ON PUNCHES KLAUS IN THE FACE AND KNOCKS HIM THROUGH THE WALL. I equally loved Klaus’s, “Be careful! I just finished renovating!” Hee! Klaus is all house-proud, just like Damon. He’s gonna be so pissed when Rebekah starts leaving wet towels on the floor and shit.
Christina: The Original Sibling Show Down was really freaking awesome. I felt really torn, actually, while it was happening. I flove Elijah; you all know this. So I was kind of beyond happy that he was like “You know what? Fuck you. You daggered me. I’m not helping you anymore, and I’m going to fucking make you miserable for the rest of your long-ass life.” I was fist pumping, right? But over the episodes, I’ve become really attached to the asshole that Klaus is, that I was a little sad for him. Especially when he turned on the KLEARS. Lord a’mighty. HOWEVER, that said, the whole “you’re going to spend eternity ALONE,” was really fucking badass. And I am PISSED that Mama Original came in all “Why can’t we all just get along?!” UGH. But when they were all stabbing him, did anyone else think of that scene in of Scary Movie 2 where everyone in the movie theater was stabbing that chick?
Melissa: I am in love with that showdown. I will need to watch it a few thousand times. And since the serious conversation is paused below, I’m going to stay serious up here for a minute. I just loved how first, you have Elijah going ‘look Klaus, I know exactly what you want. You talk about hybrids & power & revenge but at the end of the day, you would give up everything to know your family loves you. So I brought your family back, I told them what you did, and now the people whose love you need the most, hate you.’ It’s fucking brilliant. And it so fantastically ties in to Elijah’s statement for family above all. Because at the end of the day, Kol, Finn & Rebekah are more Elijah’s family than Klaus’s. Words cannot express my excitement over this.
Also, on Klaus’ side of things, I find it so completely fascinating that he can’t figure out (yet) how to admit how much he needs them. He’s screaming and crying that he can’t be killed and his eyes are screaming ‘I’m going to be around forever so why can’t you just love me?!’
And I do actually like the idea of Mama O wanting everyone to get along. Only because you know they won’t. They’re going to fight and yell and pout and play mind games with each other and it will be the greatest thing ever.
Cin: I have to pause all serious conversation at this time to say, KOL is hot. (I object to the spelling though. I mean, why?) He can stay. Finn? I mean – WTMotherF kind of name is that? Is this a Ryan Murphy extravaganza? Is he a woodland sprite? And by the looks of him he stepped off the cover of a Harlequin novel. No. I give him 2 episodes tops until he’s redaggered or final deathed. He looked like a background player. Now Kol… I look forward to getting attached to THAT Original as well. MEOW! Anyway, both new Original brothers – were they wearing suits? Didn’t Elijah say that Klaus daggered Kol 1000 years ago? (Melissa: Finn was 900 years ago & Kol was 100) Did Elijah take them out to get a fitting after his date in the meadow with Damon? Oh, I forgot, this is Mystic Falls. Where portkeys exist and everyone acclimates to life 1000 years out of their comfort zone almost immediately.
Melissa: Kol had a shirt and vest on but if he was daggered 100 years ago he shouldn’t have as much trouble adjusting. Finn probably will but I’m sure right now he’s just focused on Klaus. Though I’d bet good money that Finn has a bone to pick with his other siblings. If he’s been “dead” 900 years, they knew about it.
Cin: But Elijah thought they were final death’d. I’m sure the rest did too. Well, except for Rebekah – i’m still fuzzy on what she knew when.
Melissa: Yeah I know Elijah thought they were at the bottom of the ocean. But I guess my brain is also fuzzily remembering that Rebekah knew about the coffins. & if she knew up until about 90 years ago, I’m figuring Kol probably did too since he’s only been daggered a century. So I would think Finn would be a bit annoyed with them. Again, its fuzzy though.
Abby: Kol is like a little Elijah. I love him already. Jury is still out on Crazy Eyed Fin.
Stephanie: He is so Elijah’s mini-me. I want to carry him in my pocket.
Christina: After I admonished my brain for going to the Ryan Murphy over “Finn,” I tried to tell myself that the kid’s REAL name is Finnick. (Melissa: PLEASE BE THIS. Also, Finnick has a K.) That would make it all better. But word to the whole instant acclimation bullcrap. Though, just me, or did Finn look like he was dressed in, like, 1800s pirate garb? Was it really a suit? Also, come on. A haircut wouldn’t hurt, people.
Cin: We need to ask someone else, because Elijah was in his frames & the new tasty Kol – so I saw that shag on his head and moved on. But he is NOT Original material. Not even close.
Melissa: I freeze-framed throughout this scene as a sacrifice for ya’ll. Yeah Finn sort of looks piraty. Actually in complete honesty, he sort of looks like the pirate version of Aragorn. With crazy eyes. Maybe he’s Blackbeard.
Kol though. I might be in love. He’s so cute! Kol looks like what would happen if Peter Pan grew up a teensy bit & became a Newsie.
Cin: I can’t let you disparage The King of Gondor in that way. Finn is NO Aragorn/Ellesar!
Stephanie: I’m telling you LoTR/TVD mash-up! It NEEDS to happen.
Melissa: I didn’t say he was Aragorn! Just that he sort of looks like what might happen if Aragron got really wasted on rum and dressed up as a pirate for gay pride week.
Cin: ROFLMAO!!! Omg, did Christina & I ever tell you when we were in NOLA a few years ago it was totally Pirate Week? There were pirates everywhere & you are right – that is a very accurate description indeed!
Melissa: HAHAHA Oh wow that must’ve been a sight to behold!
Cin: It was such a blast. You’re walking along & it’s like BOOM! Pirate!
Dayna: I really feel like the Originals storyline is suffering for being a side arc in a series that is really not about them. [Cin: PREACH!!!] All joking aside, the story has such rich potential that I think it could ONLY be done justice if it became a spin-off. All of the backstory and history and interpersonal stuff can’t help but be given short shrift within the TVD framework, because TVD is ultimately the story of Elena and the Salvatores, so everything has to come back to them, and there is SO MUCH about the Originals that can’t and shouldn’t. I love Caroline, but I was SO IRRITATED that the episode kept going back to her and Bill, to Elena and Alaric, and especially to Bonnie and her mother. I want all Originals, ALL THE TIME, and that just can’t happen while they’re playing in someone else’s sandbox.
Stephanie: Seriously, where is my Originals spin-off?! That’s a dysfunctional family I would watch marathons of daily. Their entire story and relationships with each other is just so enthralling. I need MORE.
Cin: PREACH! I mean NOW we have 6 of them in one place, and THIS is the show I want to see. No doubt in my mind. Every other thing happening in Mystic Falls can just disappear and let us have Original Family Matters from here on out!
Melissa: Dallas, as a show about a family dynasty, got 357 episodes. I will take even half of that for an Original soap opera. & Dayna you make an excellent point that this isn’t their show. So as much as we want it to be all about them, it can’t be in this framework and so if we’re only going to get miniscule moments, I too would rather have a spinoff. Preferably in the CW’s first attempt at a soap opera. The 10/9c timeslot is open Monday thru Friday. Get your Original fix, 5 nights a week!
Cin: I’m going to be straight up and say, that I will be a junky of this spin-off and I give my tolerance of TVD minus Originals *maybe* another half a season. I know this isn’t there show, believe me, the show itself keeps ramming Elena drama down our throats – but since the Originals showed up in MF they have ‘showed up’ the rest of the story lines and raised the bar. And in a side by side comparison, I get very bored with the rest of it now. Pretty much all the time. So yeah, bring a spin-off on. It would fantastic and everyone would be happy. Most of the fandom would be doubly happy & then well, we could all live in a land of rainbows forever and always!
Melissa: Ya know, people always talk about how TVD is such a rich & complex show. And it is. But I think we’re finally seeing the inherent problems with a show so full of talented cast members and story lines. Even without originals, Bonnie’s story has been decimated to the point no one cares. Matt barely has anything to do and Tyler has next to no connection to anyone anymore. And that shouldn’t be the case. Those guys are part of the core group and need to be explored. But when we also have Originals, with all of their rich history and story potential, it means too much is being sacrificed on all levels.
Cin: You are preaching to the choir there. I started running my mouth about this last season, and it’s only gotten worse and worse. It’s ALSO a problem that there are so many un-killable characters that we spot the victims when they step foot into town. Because if nothing else is maintained, by god, the body count will be!
Table Manners, or Lack Thereof
Dayna: Disappointment over the backstory aside, that dinner scene was just perfection. All four of those actors just KILLED it. Klaus telling the Salvatores the cold, hard truth about the Elena situation? Golden. The look on Damon’s face was pretty telling. I’m going to hope for my own opportunity to play the #douchbagcard and call it: Damon’s romp in the hay with whichever vamp next week is going to be his way of pushing Elena away, because I think he believed it when Klaus said she was better off without either of them.
Stephanie: Dayna it’s like you’re in my mind today. Damon’s face when Klaus bitchslapped with the truth was so heart-breaking but poignant because he totally gets it. I think he’s always kind of got it though, especially if he looks at his and Stefan’s own history. He knows that they both love Elena but realizes that who and what they are can only bring pain and trouble in addition to love and happiness into her life. It’s a double edged sword for the boys for sure. It’ll be interesting to see how the boys AND Elena act towards this cold splash of truth. Also I’m just finally glad that someone on this show is getting laid. WAY too much blue balls going around in Mystic Falls which could explain the serial killings. Everyone needs their release, right?
Melissa: Heh. I figure Damon’s getting laid because even if Elena does have a magic vagina, it’s not like anyone ever gets to experience it. He needs some action somehow.
Cin: *dies* Magic vagina. Hahahahaha – YES!
Christina: Word to the both of you. Damon needed to hear that. And the sooner they embrace it, the better. All the sooner we can have a Boys Club spin-off with these four because that would be hilarious. Dinner parties all the time. HOWEVER, anyone else thing the “truth telling” was just a manipulation tool? I bet you the Elijah/Klaus battle of Tatya was not nearly as anti-climactic as they made it out to be.
Cin: Word to ALL of you. Also, Damon is so hot for Elijah still it’s down right embarrassing for him. He idolizes the Originals, I mean it’s SOOOOOOOOOOOO obvious. I think if they told him he would be a real cool cat if he shaved his head – he’d totes do it. Wait. That’s really not a bad idea. And about the original Petrova (since she was the model the dopplegangers are made after – so she was not a doppleganger) I still stand behind what Christina & I said in our Elijah essay (link below), I think Elijah clearly loved her more and held onto those feelings so no matter what his hand in her death, because he’s Elijah & perfect he is going to hold onto a bit more guilt over it all. The same way Stefan would if something happened to Elena. Damon would stew in his grief sure, but punish himself for hundreds of years? I really don’t think so.
Stephanie: Oh I’m sure they some how ended up killing her accidentally and Elijah has never forgiven himself or Klaus for it.
Dayna: I did notice that they never said that she was killed, only that it was her blood they drank in the wine that night Mama vamped the family.
Stephanie: I noticed that too. I still think they killed her though whether before or after turning who knows.
Dayna: I still think she must have been used in the ritual that made Klaus’s werewolf side dormant.
Cin: I’m with Dayna. With the doppleganger’s blood being pivotal to release the spell on Klaus’ dormant werepire-ness, and the doppleganger’s blood being the only catalyst in the creation of a hybrid army – the original Petrova’s blood HAD to have been used in that spell as well. I mean, her blood had to have been as instrumental to Klaus’ original curse as the moonstone. Having her be the blood used to turn them into vamps was kinda not even necessary information I don’t think. I mean we already know she has to logically be tied to the hybrid curse, so how was she also tied to the vamp curse? Both were not done at the same time were they? They just unnecessarily made it more complex. And seriously, the mythology is already so cray that most of the fandom can’t keep it straight.
Melissa: I actually like the additional complexity. I think it ultimately weaves all the connections together better. We all (well a lot of us) joke about Elena’s magicalness but there has to be a reason for why everything comes back to the doppelgangers. I’m sort of randomly spitballing and possibly getting too soap opera ish but I could see Elijah & Klaus still fighting over Tatia but Klaus’ animalistic nature is putting her in danger. And then Esther wanting her family whole, and has to deal with Klaus’ wolf side, so she in essence kills 2 birds with one stone by using Tatia. I don’t know, my brain is sort of all over the place with thoughts and not processing completely. But overall, I just think that ultimately, this added wrinkle could end up smoothing out into some really cool mythology. Plus I just prefer an extremely tightly woven & complex mythology to random coincidental connections.
Abby: I wish they’d told us more about the doppelganger, I’m tired of the mystery being drawn out, or perhaps just REALLY impatient. Otherwise, though, I loved this scene and wish it could have gone on forever. [Stephanie: AGREED.] I think my favorite thing was that you really got the sense of the age difference between the two sets of brothers. I have no idea how they did it, but somehow, it just worked. Also, I liked that Stefan and Damon were, right at the beginning, a little frightened. They were sitting with Originals and fear was totally appropriate, so it worked.
Cin: This ‘Dinner for Four’ scene was my favorite scene of the season. Easily. Everything else in the episode detracted from this A plot and imagine if we’d have gotten a full 42 minutes of it? Of just Originals & Salvatores. It would have been EPIC. I mean, buck the system show. Buffy did it. Silent episode. Musicals. All I want is straight A plot. Is that really so much to ask?
Melissa: I know I’m going to get so much flack from ya’ll for this but with a few exceptions, I was so fucking bored at the dinner. I liked the points being made and I thought there were some hilarious moments. But overall? BORED. I know a lot of people were kind of blah towards this episode and as a whole I really loved it. And all the implications and unsaid things at the dinner were great. But the actual sitting at the table talking did not interest me at all.
Cin: We can agree to disagree here. Because as I have been saying all recap, ELIJAH WAS IN THIS EPISODE. And in that scene, it was just — did they talk? I couldn’t tell you. I was mesmerized. But then again, I’m extremely easy like that.
Doppleganger Mythology: FINALLY!!! Kind of.
Christina: Wait. So… The original petrova chick was named Tatya? And Elijah and Klaus both loved her? First of all, called it. #douchebadge
Abby: Again, I wish we could have had more about this in the episode. I want more info.
Cin: Abby, we have ALL wanted more of this info forever. That’s one of the things that pisses me off on this show. The slow drawn out teases on these stories and reveals and all it really accomplishes is frustrating some of us and confusing the rest. I understand needing to keep some mystery but like, when you do reveal it and we’ve all talked it to death so much that we’ve figured it out OR it’s dumb as dirt and infuriating. (I’m looking at you “Ordinary People”!) Sometimes it’s good, but just spill the beans already. Giving the fandom excess time to stew isn’t a good thing. We over think things and when that happens, it hardly ever lives up to the hype.
Christina: This was one of those moments, like in last episode with the whole Mikael looking for toddler Elena, where they mention something and just when you’re like “WAIT WHAT?!” they change topics. Infuriating.
Cin: You know what makes it even more infuriating, the fact that they not only glossed over this huge mythology reveall (2nd episode in a row to do that BTW), but they glossed over it THEN skipped to crappy B-plot story. UGH!!!
Dayna: I know this should have been one of those episodes I love and want to marry and have babies with but, ladies? I’m gonna say it: I am SO disappointed. The Klaus/Elijah competing over the original Petrova thing was just so, so, SO obvious and predictable. [Cin: See, that’s exactly what I mean. End of last season, this reveal would have had us all singing from the heavens. Now that we’ve thought about it to death and had it figured out forever... *crickets*] Even more disappointing was the way they totally downplayed it all like, “Oh yeah, we both were into this chick, but bros before hos, ya know?” I am clinging by my fingernails to the hope that the downplaying was all for the Salvatores benefit, at least on Elijah’s part. Klaus has NEVER acted with Katherine or Elena like the resemblance and, by extension, the original girl meant anything to him, whereas Elijah has. PLEASE let him just be fronting!
Christina: I think he might be. I kind of commented on this in the section above. Elijah clearly loved this chick. Dude. His look in episode 2.19 “Klaus” ALONE when Elena comes back to Lockwood Manor so Elijah can continue telling her his story. That look ALONE tells you that he is tied to that face much more strongly than he’s letting on.
Stephanie: I think it’s in Nina’s contract that her character(s) have to be in love with every male lead at least once.
Christina: I think that might be true. Remember last season when she (as Elena/Katherine) was making out with like everybody? I kind of wanted to be her. Okay, I did want to be her. Sounds like a sweet deal to me.
Stephanie: WORD. Is it too late to sign up?
Melissa: I have to talk in this section and I don’t know where to really jump in so we’ll just go from here. First, I’m holding out judgment on the Klaus/Elijah loving the original Petrova thing. Just because since this has been suspected for so long, there has to be more to the story. But two things that make me go WHAT THE FUCK. 1) Tatia means fairy. I’ll kill someone if the show goes there. FUCK THAT NOISE. 2) How did Abby Bennett know about Mikael, know Elena was the doppelganger but not know who the fuck Klaus is?! 3) Ya’ll Klaus & Elijah are talking like they were in the exact same boat as the Salvatores. 2 single brothers in love with the same girl. But in S2, Elijah said he had a family. A family?! So what the fuck is going on? Did Elijah have a different family and an illicit affair? Did his first wife die and then he became in love with Tatia? Or is that kid that Tatia had secretly his? Which would make him Elena’s like zillion times great-grandpa. I NEED TO KNOW.
Psycho Killer, Qu’est-ce Que C’est
Christina: I’m going to go ahead and say it’s Kathi. I bet you she and Elena have the same finger prints. When this turns out to be true, I totally reserve the right to throw down my #douchebadge.
Dayna: Totally agree, Christina. I mean, how is Katherine NOT Elena and Alaric’s first guess when the Sheriff said Elena’s prints were on the stake? What I can’t figure yet is exactly WHY Katherine would go after Bill and Alaric. She’s always managed to maneuver around the Council just fine — I can’t see her being worried about them now. She must be up to Plan W(TF).
Christina: Ooh, what if it turns out to be Tatya? Hahahaha. My sides.
Cin: Forget Tatya, it’s Charlotte!
Stephanie: I can believe it’s Charlotte more than anyone else. Also maybe she’s all high tech and crap and planted Elena’s prints on the stake because there’s no way Kat and Elena have the same prints. Identical twins don’t even have the same prints. I really want Charlotte to be some high tech serial killer/monster hunter. It’ll just add to the WTF-ness of this show. But in all seriousness maybe it’s Jeremy coming back to be like, ‘Listener Motherfuckers, you can’t just kick me out of the group like that!’.
Cin: Ohhhh, me likey the idea of a serial killing Jeremy! He would be AH-MAH-ZING and like maybe they will finally get around to showing those side effects of over compulsion. Thanks, Steph. Now my brain wheels are turning. LOL
Melissa: I won’t lie my first thought when they said it was Elena’s prints was that Miranda or Grayson or both of them aren’t really dead. But in all seriousness, this whole serial killer thing really is confusing. I mean, I actually really like it because it’s confusing and twisted and not the traditional supernatural deaths but still. Someone’s targeting the council but they’re framing Elena, the one person that honestly no one would believe did it. Elena especially wouldn’t go after the people being targeted. So that sort of logic is just stupid. And as far as the prints go, I’m just assuming the prints were planted, not that someone has the same ones as Elena. Katherine seems too easy. Plus what does she have to gain? If she went after Liz & Carol, who are on decent terms with Klaus at the moment I could understand that. But Alaric & Bill make no sense. Neither does the examiner’s death. UGH. My brain hurts.
Cin: It’s TVD, Melissa. If you’re brain isn’t hurting, you’re doing it wrong.
Melissa: SCRATCH ALL OF THAT. They’re bringing in Sage right? And I know next to nothing about Sage except 3 things. In the book Sage is male (so people are pissed about that change. Whatever). Sage is a kitsune (At least I read that somewhere). Kitsunes can take on human form. (In traditional mythology, no idea if TVD books did that too). I mean, what if? Kitsunes can assume the form of a human, so why not the fingerprints? And they’re tricksters. Constantly playing mind games. Shit ya’ll. Okay someone either talk me off this ledge or give me enough support to just go ahead and jump off a mythology cliff.
Stephanie: I have nothing to say to this except you are smarter than I.
Cin: OK, I did not no about book Sage. BUT from my vast Supernatural watching background, you are TOTALLY right about Kitsunes they sure as shit can. And OMFG! It’s totally Sage doing it all. And Cassidy Freeman is playing Sage and I *LOVE HER* (we share a birthday & she’s brilliant), and she DID say her character was a cold blooded killer. Now, on TVD that could mean anything, but now it’s all clicking into place. AWESOME BRAINWORK, MELISSA! You have just solved the murders. Now, when the time comes, we can all vouch for your #douchbadge. LOL
Melissa: Yes! I’ll set aside some money for the jar when the time comes.
Abby: I don’t care how it happened, I’m glad Bill Forbes is dead forever. Poor Caroline, though! Clearly she needs someone coughKLAUScough to console her. With more diamonds.
Dayna: Honest to GOD, how much more does this girl have to endure?
Christina: Word. When I saw him sitting there in the closet in the hospital, I thought he had slit his own throat. Besides that being such a drama queen move, I was like “Goddamn Bill. His last act in life was to destroy himself so he wouldn’t become what Caroline is. Way to damage her self-esteem even more.” But turns out, I guess, he didn’t do it. But the whole “parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children” conversation really got to me. He didn’t love WHAT she was, but he loved WHO she was, unconditionally, and that was really sweet and it had me crying a little bit. But I think the most moving part of this whole story line was that scene where Caroline was asking Elena what it was like to lose her father. And, ya’ll. I can’t. I was thinking about this all night, and I think this is the moment I sort of shut down and had a hard time paying attention to the rest of the episode. Let’s just say I can completely relate. And everything Elena said is right. And it sucks, to put it lightly. I couldn’t really handle this story line at all. But this scene was really nicely acted, and I hope this story line just opens up the opportunity for Caroline to shine on screen again. I’ve missed her. I want her to shine like that diamond bracelet Klaus gave her.
Stephanie: As long as she doesn’t shine like a pearl necklace.
Christina: Gross. I love you.
Dayna: Goddamn you people. Beverage warnings!!
Cin: Again, I checked out on this whole sub-plot. I don’t share those Daddy issues and while Caroline is usually my catalyst to feel all things emotional – Elijah was in this episode. Let me repeat: ELIJAH WAS IN THIS EPISODE. I was feeling no pain or angst. None. Also, Bill was such a douche I’m surprised he wasn’t a were. Glad he’s gone. I am slightly disappointed that we’ll never get to see him fondle Tyler again, but when have I ever gotten what I want when it comes to Tyler? *shrug*
Melissa: I was emotional because when Caroline cries, I cry. But I’m happy Bill’s gone in all honesty. However, I’m more happy that Bill’s gone because if he’s gone, there’s no one to keep working with Tyler so maybe that means Tyler can die.
What’s in the
Christina: Well, that was anti-climactic. I was REALLY hoping it was the original petrova chick.
Dayna: We are so on the same page, Christina. I realize that Nina Dobrev kinda has enough to do, but that would have been more interesting to me than to have it be Mama (which I was totally spoiled on because I totally went and watched the leaked promo.)
Melissa: I didn’t even have a choice really on the promo. I mean I did, obviously but I was online when it first came out and didn’t have any warning so everyone assumed it wasn’t anything big and then I got epically spoiled. So yeah, it was anti-climactic since I knew going in that it was Mama O. But before I knew, I wanted it to be her more than I wanted the Original Petrova. How many magical fairy vaginas does one show need?
Abby: I think I’d have enjoyed it more if the Bennett stuff wasn’t so ridiculous and boring.
Stephanie: I agree with all of you. This revelation just wasn’t that surprising. It was definitely predictable. However, I still think Mama Original will be the big bad of the season.
Christina: I mean, it IS interesting that’s Mama Original. Because she was dead and they buried her. And now she’s back — OH! Also. Was she not wearing the same dress from the flashback? If so, how was it not all tattered to shit after being 1000+ years old? [Stephanie: Klaus must know some great archival techniques that he needs to share with the world] Anyway, but she’s back. How? She’s not even a vampire. She’s just a witch. Fuckery. There is fuckery afoot. BUT, even with all that, her “let’s all get along” attitude really made me mad, which is what prompted my “Oh for chrissake” tweet haha.
Dayna: Also, wasn’t she supposedly “on the other side?” Or was it AYANNA who was the powerful witch on the other side, and we were just led to believe it was Mama?
Cin: Ok. Now I’m confused. Who is Ayanna? Was she from the that bullshit backstory episode earlier this year [Christina: Yes, the witch chick who helped Mama Original], because you guys – I really can’t talk about that episode again. Just them bringing up the fact there were even MORE Eastern Europeans in pre-Colonial Virginia last night… no. So yeah, I have to tune most of that out before I pop a blood vessel.
Melissa: I’m pretending that the viking shit doesn’t exist.
Stephanie: So is she like a hybrid too? Only a witch/vamp one? I’m getting confused about how the fuck she’s not a decomposed body. I guess she could have given herself immortality and I just missed that so AYANNA helped Klaus trap her.
Dayna: For that matter, what was Klaus’s purpose in carting her around if he thought she was going to kill him if she ever woke up/came back to life? Why not just dump her in the ocean?
Melissa: I suspect that we will not only learn how she gave herself immortality as well as I think Klaus assumed she was truly dead. I haven’t yet got the impression that Klaus ever expected to see his mother alive. I think he believed she was truly dead.
Stephanie: It’s obvious Klaus suffers from separation issues. Once again that entire family needs to head to the nearest family psychiatrist and use dolls to express their feelings.
Dayna: Damn, I bet they’d go through A LOT of dolls.
Stephanie: LOL. No doubt.
Melissa: Dolls. Hee. That just me think of Penny not being close to her sister doll and using the doll to be like he touched me here and here but he wouldn’t touch me here. Why wouldn’t he touch me here?
Cin: That’s the crossover that needs to happen: The Vampire Diaries Happy Endings. It’d cast a whole new meaning to Blackass!
Stephanie: OMG I LOVE YOU BOTH!!!!!!! I’m going to have write a special post now of TVD/HappyEndings crossover fanfic made out of pictures!
Cin: OMG! You totally like *HAVE* to. This is the most epic thing, well, since Elijah came back!!!
Stephanie: DONE. Starting it this weekend.
Cin: Every single way I’m envisioning this, it like, just gets more & more ah-mah-zing by the second! I am seriously excited about this!
Melissa: Can you imagine a dinner party at the diner? DRAMA!!! And Max would totally spend it hitting on each of the original brothers to see which one would let him get lucky.
Stephanie: Guys, Alex’s store? New soap dish.
Wait, There Were Bennetts On Screen And Other Random Bits
Christina: Boring. I so sick and tired of Bonnie huffing and puffing and exiting stage left.
Abby: WORD. They were completely dull, and I resented every moment of their screentime. AGAIN.
Dayna: WORD SQUARED. Seriously, Bennetts are just The Worst.
Stephanie: WORD⁵. Will the damn Bennetts just do SOMETHING interesting for once?!
Cin: I seriously ignored them. Like, only knew they were on screen b/c it meant I could stick my nose in my BlackBerry. I just don’t get WHY they keep trying to make the Bennett’s happen. THEY ARE NOT HAPPENING, SHOW!
Melissa: That promo did not help the Bennett storyline. Knowing who was in the coffin meant I wasn’t paying a bit of attention to the Bennetts. Make them interesting or keep them off my screen.
Abby: While I did get sick of the Bennetts (YAWN) I will say that this episode had some GREAT lines. It did feel a little choppy though, going back and forth between the storylines. Emotional whipash galore.
Christina: The only lines I really enjoyed came from Klaus and Elijah. Klaus especially during that dinner party scene. He’s a fucking hoot.
Dayna: Klaus was awesome. [Abby: ALWAYS!] That giggle when Elijah asked about Elena was priceless. I could sit with bitchy-gossip-Klaus forever. Or, you know, until he ripped my throat out. I also enjoyed Damon’s “Hey, remember how you killed Dad? Maybe hold off on the judgment until dessert,” or whatever the exact wording was.
Stephanie: Damon’s ‘Dad’ line was my favorite of the episode. You know, besides his ‘XOXO’ sign off in his love letter to Elijah.
Abby: I found Matt’s presence to be a little strange. Nice, that he’s there for his friends, but it seemed out of place.
Stephanie: Maybe Matt is dressing up as Ghostface and going around killing Council members because they don’t care about orphaned kids?
Abby: YES PLEASE.
Dayna: That? Would be A-W-E-S-O-M-E. And give him a, you know, purpose for still being on the show. (PS. How cool is it that Klaus is all Team Matt?)
Stephanie: Klaus being Team Matt is ADORABLE. But also because I imagine that he thinks he and Matt could pass for brothers so I think he wants Matt to hook up with Elena so he and Caroline can go on double dates with them. Maybe they can even be Doublemint Twins and dress the same way in pictures. Now I NEED a Matt/Klaus epic bromance of them goofing around and riding a tandem bicycle.
Christina: Double the pleasure, double the fun
Cin: *DYING FOREVER* You complete me, Stephanie. You really, really do.
Dayna: o_0 Um, wow.
Melissa: Stephanie you are perfection. I need this picture to be real.
Stephanie: I’m working on it. Photoshop powers have been activated.
Abby: I don’t understand the point of having Elena kill Alaric other than as setup for the fact that the doppelganger counts as a supernatural creature…which we already knew. That whole thing felt a little off. Also, WHY would she and Matt wander around the Gilbert house when the lights were off? HOW MANY TIMES HAS ELENA BEEN SURPRISED BY SOMEONE SCARY IN THAT HOUSE?
Christina: Idiots, the lot of them.
Stephanie: I’m going to need Elena to take Randy from Scream’s Horror Film Survival 101 class ASAP.
Christina: I’LL BE RIGHT BACK!
Dayna: I think Elena needs that all-day helmet that Price Peterson is always talking about.
Do You: Like Me? Like-Like Me? (check one)
Abby: Damon’s note to Elijah was, in fact, PERFECTION.
Dayna: The XOXO, the wink, the looks across the table… seriously, those two need to just go fuck already.
Christina: The XOXO made me laugh because I’ve been marathoning Gossip Girl for the past month or so, so I was expecting it to say “XOXO, Gossip Girl.” I LOL’d.
Stephanie: Greatest. Letter. Ever.
Cin: Someone totally tweeted “Wait. Is Damon Salvatore Gossip Girl?” ROFL! Also, as I stated earlier – he would bend over for Elijah without batting an eye. The lust is actually reaching embarrassing levels at this point.
Abby: I’m having difficulties with Meredith Fell just being in the know. It feels abrupt, perhaps because there was so much more lead up with the other characters getting in on the secret? I don’t know. It just feels a little off.
Christina: I agree because who the fuck is she? And she’s like in it, but not totally in it. And I know she’s only been around for 3 episodes, but they make her seem very, very important, and I know that all will be revealed in due time, but I was honestly hoping Meredith would be a cooler character. Not just a “oh, I don’t know if I trust her” kind of character, but a totally awesome character. And love interest for Alaric. Why does everything in Alaric’s life have to be so goddamn complicated? Come here, Alaric. I’ll make it all better. And I won’t make you buy me tampons.
Dayna: Yeah, thanks for making me choke on that last swallow of coffee, Christina. Man, between the blatant hangover, leaving the empty bottles lying around, and telling Elena about drunk-dialing a girl at 2:00 a.m., I’m just waiting for the inevitable “favorite sexual positions” conversation between Alaric and HIS STUDENT.
Stephanie: Guys, I need to hear a recording of Alaric’s drunk dials and booty calls.
Dayna: See, now THAT is some shit that Matt Davis ought to record and then link to on Twitter.
Cin: That would be the most glorious thing EVER! But on Meredith, I totally understand exactly what ya’ll are saying. It’s like why is she important again? Because she’s Meredith & a Fell? Sorry, that’s not cutting it for me. This entire murder mystery shenanigans is just a bunch of garbage. We don’t have the need or time for this crap. AND twitter predictably freaked out when Alaric got hurt/died AGAIN, but not me. That boy’s cried wolf one too many times for me to keep freaking out over it. And what is so bad is, one day they really will kill him and I won’t even register it for like 10 minutes because I’ll be waiting for him to come back. Also, ELIJAH WAS IN THIS EPISODE!
Melissa: I actually found it awesome that Meredith keeps a running tally on the vampires in town. You’d think someone would at this point. Though I definitely agree that she’s just sort of blah at this point. I want more awesome from the character so many people have been waiting on. But in Meredith’s defense, I wasn’t over the moon about Elijah in his first couple episodes. And now he owns my soul. So maybe Meredith will surprise me.
And yes, Matt Davis needs to put together a collection of Alaric whiskey-dialing.
Dayna: I was all for Stefan pulling shit on Klaus and lipping off at him, but this sullen, jealous ex-boyfriend act after everything? Aw HELL no! Stefan can officially go fuck himself.
Stephanie: I’m starting to think Stefan is bi-polar. His mood swings are just getting out of control.
Dayna: Seriously, I know I’m a party of one here in the SBH with being pro-Damon and anti-Stefan, but JeeZus.
Stephanie: Hey I’m pro-Damon too! We’re a party of two here. I just wish he’d shake Stefan silly and be like ‘Bro, YOU GAVE HER UP! It’s my turn now so get over it. By the way, you always did suck at sharing.’
Dayna: I’m not alone anymore? *sniff* And I didn’t even have to sacrifice a doppelganger and make little hybrid babies!
Stephanie: And I wasn’t even compelled either. Now we can hold each other when shit hits the fan and Damon does something stupid again to make everyone hate him.
Dayna: So, next week then? Great, it’s a date!
Stephanie: I’ll bring the alcohol.
Dayna: I’ll handle the chocolate.
Abby: You know, I was going to say something here about Stefan being a Grade A Certified Jackass this episode, but I think I’d rather just watch you two bond over chocolate and wine. You’re like a Hallmark movie of 2 right now. ADORABLE.
Cin: ROFL! I’m with Abby.
Stephanie: *crossing ‘star in a Hallmark movie’ off bucket list*. Well at least you didn’t say starring in a whale movie with Drew Barrymore.
Christina: Oh, John Krasinski.
Melissa: LMAO. I still like Stefan this episode because he basically told Bonnie to STFU & get shit done. And I just find his petulant two year old routine hilarious. PS. I will always hate Damon no matter what awesome things he does. Sometimes I like him for a moment but that’s it.
From the Tweetosphere
@thomascgalvin: Dear Elijah: All of these people suck and are ugly. Let’s be awesome and hot together. xoxo -Damon #TVD
@thomascgalvin: “The Vampire Diaries” should be renamed “Vampires Fight Over Nina Dobrev” #TVD
@cadlymac: Hey, remember Bonnie being sooooo sure that whatever’s in the coffin would be the key to killing Klaus? Bonnie fail. #again #andagain